Bethlehem Mayor John Callahan Finally Calls Himself “Johnny Casino”

Don’t let local politicians steer you wrong. 

The Lehigh Valley with Love community coined the nickname “Johnny Casino” for our beloved mayor of Bethlehem.

And, he’s finally gotten around to enjoying it!

“If you guys want to call me Johnny Casino, I’ll take it because taxpayers of the city of Bethlehem are a whole lot better today than without it,” said Callahan, making reference to a nickname a GOP council candidate recently called him on the online comment section of a newspaper story. SOURCE: The Morning Call

Oh, you want evidence? Well, a simple google search for “Johnny Casino” pretty much seals the deal on where it was first, and most widely, mentioned.

Hopefully Callahan comes out to the Tweetup tonight at Starfish, starting at 7 p.m., to show his appreciation.

Best and Worst Halloween Costume Ideas for the Lehigh Valley

If you haven’t started thinking about your Halloween costume yet, you’re pretty close to being solidly behind the 8-Ball. No one likes a thrown together costume.

I’ve learned in recent years that the Lehigh Valley community, south Bethlehem in particular, takes Halloween pretty damn seriously what with the 2011 South Bethlehem Masquerade Ball and other numerous Lehigh Valley Halloween events going on.

Since everyone seemed to hate my Robocop costume I wore a few years ago (Which was SO TOTALLY AWESOME by the way) I have started to better research what I choose to prance around in and eventually vomit on during the many Halloween parties I attend.

Now, it can be super easy to fall into certain Halloween costume traps, so I wanted to give a little bit of advice on what costumes to avoid before you head out and look like an idiot.

I also wanted to make sure you put on your thinking caps when it came to what you could potentially dress up as with probably minimal effort.

Sure, these aren’t all LOCAL costumes, but I’m just writing this for those who plan on going to local parties. Just sayin’

DON’T!

1. Sexy (Insert animal/profession/cartoon character/processed food)

Alright. Ladies. We get it. You have boobs and Halloween is the year’s greatest excuse to put them on display since you’re “A sexy zombie tee, hee!” or “A sexy rabbit tee, hee.”

In reality, you’re just showing the world how you really want to dress at a bar on a regular basis, or, what you would wear if you didn’t want the entire place to look at you as though you were taking numbers for a German porn movie.

What it really says to me when I see a woman dressed up as a sexy astronaut is that she’s just lazy as shit.

Instead of attempting to use her brain to make something creative, she figures the occasional nipple slip will protect her from anyone who would call her on her perceived slutitude.

Alternative: Go as a super conservative zombie nun with a dildo around her neck instead of a crucifix. Use a bit of subtlety, ok?

2. Casey Anthony or Amanda Knox

So, you’ve decided NOT to be a sexy dentist. Good job. But, don’t fall into being one of these sexy acquitted murderers, either.

Sure, the novelty of both of their high profile cases will definitely earn you some current event points, but the fact that you choose to come out as someone who either 1. killed her child or 2. probably killed her roommate leads me to believe you have some more deep-seated issues that may need to be worked out in therapy rather than on the dance floor.

3. Steve Jobs

This is the male equivalent of the sexy costume. It’s easy. People expect it. Don’t do it.

Seriously, even if you try and mix it up by hanging a dead iPod around your neck, it’s just the opposite move one of the most genius minds of our time would want you to make.

4. Bethlehem Mayor John Callahan

This would be awesome if it, again, wasn’t as easy as putting on a suit, getting one of your midget friends to follow you around as an assistant, and do shots all night. See, to me, this is called Wednesday, not Halloween.

5. Any one of these: Amy Winehouse, someone from the Royal Wedding party and/or Osama Bin Laden and now Gaddafi

I am going to refer back to the, “Please take a minute to think about it and realize everyone else is going to be wearing one of these costumes as well” point.

Now that we’ve covered what you defintiely want to avoid, what are my recommendations to actually be? Well, I’m super glad you asked because I have some good ones. 

Keep in mind, I have no idea how to put any of these together, but I recommend hitting up the Home Depot or CVS or something. That’s where I buy shit when I have to make sure something sticks to something else.

DO!

1. A Bethlehem Police Horse

Come on. Your friends could ride you! You could eat vodka carrots all night! You can poop in public. You are essentially a police officer which means you can arrest your friends if they do illegal stuff, like wear a Casey Anthony mask.

2. Hurricane Irene

I have no idea how to pull this off. Maybe just get your hair really wet and wear a bunch of barbies painted like Puerto Ricans as casualties in your wake. Bonus points if you take a doll house, dismantle it, and wear it as collateral damage.

3. Jeff Parks

Again, I’m just the idea man here. But, I’m sure there are signs or sandwich boards you could use your creativity toward to make into one kick ass costume that everyone is going to compliment you on. Bonus points if you get donations.

4. The City of Easton

Basically, the night before you intend to go to a party, do a lot of cocaine, drink tons of 40s, shoot someone, get a warrant out for your arrest, double park somewhere, bathe in some canola oil and go to bed. Wake up, don’t shower, eat some raw meat, do 40 shots of Jack Daniels and then attend your party. People should be able to figure out quickly who you are.

5. Kathy “Mfing” Craine

“Hi boys…This Halloween’s forecast is definitely ‘moist.’”

Tell me what I’m missing or what you’re going to be for Halloween. I still haven’t really decided but I am nearly 90 percent sure it’s going to be Ron Swanson

J. William Reynolds Announces Bethlehem Council Re-election Bid!

It’s no secret that J. William Reynolds is our favorite Bethlehem Council member and it’s not just because he sleeps next to his hot girlfriend and tells the newspaper about it, but also because he has a sweet hat.

Ok, and he’s also really young and seems to have some cool ideas, so that helps too.

In hopes that J. William Reynolds becomes the next Johnny Casino we are hereby totally behind him on his re-election bid, which should totally get him like five votes!

Bethlehem City Councilman J. William Reynolds has announced that hewill seek another four-year term.

“When I ran for City Council four years ago, I laid out the priorities that I would focus on if elected,” he says in a news release. “We have accomplished a lot in the past four years but there is more work to be done. Two aspects of my record that I am particularly proud of are that I have never supported a tax increase and I have found ways to cut spending.

“I have kept the promises I made four years ago to cut spending, increase public safety and support initiatives that bring jobs to the City of Bethlehem.”

During his term, Reynolds claims he has:

• voted to cut City Council’s budget in 2010 by 14 percent enabling the city to hire more police officers
• supported increasing the police force from 150 to 157 officers
• voted for new financial reporting requirements in order to increase accountability and transparency in City Hall
• supported initiatives that have lead to almost one billion dollars in economic development in the city
• consistently attended community meetings such as block watch and neighborhood groups

For more information on his campaign, visit www.jwilliamreynolds.net. Source

Now, it’s clear by going to his website that we should all partner up and get elected and then slowly bring this city back to what it should be, full of bars and tattoo shops and casinos!

 Wait… Hmmm…. looks like we’ve covered that already.

Alright, screw it, I’m just voting because of the hat. 

Charlie Dent’s Political Sign Too Big For Johnny Casino

I like to think of John Callahan, Mayor of Bethlehem, AKA Johnny Casino, as sitting in his office looking out over the city and thinking to himself “Man, I want some more casinos and stuff. Also, everyone I work with is SOOO boring. Thank Count Zinzendorf I had the City Streets Department place a secret wine cellar under my desk. Yes, my desk lined with gold and taxpayer’s tears.

Now, we can all also imagine him sitting in his office staring at a huge Charlie Dent campaign poster across the street. Because there is one totally there! Across the street!

The “Charlie Dent U.S. Congress” sign across from Bethlehem City Hall is notable not for its size, or because it’s visible from the workplace of Mayor John Callahan, Dent’s congressional foe.

It’s notable, city zoning officer John Lezoche says, because it’s illegal.

It’s nearly three times the legal limit, Lezoche says, and it’s hanging on the Church Street antique shop of Sam Guttman, the city’s former planning director.

Incumbent Republican Dent is battling Democrat Callahan to represent the Lehigh Valley on Capitol Hill starting in January. Independent Jake Towne is also running.

Guttman, you’ll remember, is kind of a jerk and does whatever he wants, including parking anywhere.

Guttman is defending the sign’s legal status. And Lezoche is saying his order has nothing to do with politics.

Oh, c’mon! You don’t think SOMEONE from Johnny Casino’s entourage didn’t just MAYBE say “Hey, Lezoche, see that big sign over there? Make it disappear or we’ll make you disappear!”?

“It’s a big illegal sign and it’s hanging across the street from my office. I can’t just ignore it,” Lezoche said. “Freedom of speech is everyone’s right, but you have to do it within the law.”

Guttman, who helped shape and enforce city planning and zoning laws between 1975 and his retirement in 2002, said Lezoche will have to look at the sign for weeks to come.

“I have no intention of taking it down,” Guttman said. “Last I checked, political signs are covered under freedom of speech. This isn’t Russia. You can’t just go and rip a person’s sign down.”

Lezoche said the city zoning code clearly states that political signs in a residential zone must be no larger than 8 square feet. Guttman’s 2-foot-by-10-foot banner, hung above his Church Street Antiques shop, is two and a half times the legal size, Lezoche said. Source

You know what else is two and a half times the legal size? Johnny Casino’s boxer shorts!

Know what I’m sayin’ ladies?

Who Is Jake Towne? Let Us Tell You.

So, you know who Charlie Dent and Johnny Casino are. Oh, you don’t? Ok, welll… read the incumbent congressman Dent tackle Bethlehem Mayor and “idiot for entering a political race where they are going to dig up your past” John Callahan in this awesome debate.

I’ll wait….

Ok, now that you’re up to speed on the Republican and Democratic choices for the upcoming November election you may be asking yourself… “Who is Jake Towne?”

Wait, you’re not? WTF? Ok, well Jake Towne is running on his own ticket. The ticket of awesome, or something, and he’s been doing grassroots campaigning to take a stab at the mightily funded and politically chiseled Dent/Callahan tag team of doom.

So, I was able to track down Towne when he wasn’t out setting up his campaign signs on Route 378 and, well, prepare to get some more information on why you should pay more attention to local (well regional) congressional races.

*Note, this is freaking long, but I PROMISE YOU it’s worth it. So, sit back, kick back, kick a cat and read it. Oh, also, I edited NOTHING because I’m lazy.

1. So, Jake, Tell us a little about you. Not so much in the David Copperfield sort of way because who really cares where you grew up, but like, what do you do and stuff when you’re not trying to get elected to congress.

JT: Sure, I am a LV native but spent the past 4 years in Shanghai, China, working as an engineer in the semiconductor industry.  My hobbies include marathon running, hiking, and traveling to new places.  While my Chinese is getting rusty, I’ve been very fortunate to make a trek to Mount Everest base camp in Nepal, and backpack all over New Zealand and SE Asia in countries like Thailand and Cambodia.

My hobbies these days are pretty much limited to trail running, weightlifting, writing and yoga — though I suppose politics and running for US Congress is also a hobby, as I am enjoying the experience of meeting people from all over the area.

Hear that ladies? Trail running, weightlifting, writing and yoga.. seriously. Just sayin…

To be frank, I did not care much about politics until I realized just how much the government affects our lives.  Like Pericles of Athens said in 430 BC - except it was in Greek - ”Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you.”

The genetically-modified foods we eat, the light bulbs in your home, how many gallons your toilet flushes, how much of your wages you are permitted to keep, and even the value of each dollar are all affected or controlled by the government.  Over $1 trillion of our tax money goes into defending foreign countries like the 55,000 troops we have stationed in Germany - we have over 761 military bases in 150 of the world’s 194 countries.

2. Do you really think you have a shot to take down either Johnny Casino (oh that’s John Callahan) or Charlie “Good Lookin’” Dent? I mean, we always see these third party guys as just trying to steal the spotlight a bit, right?

Well, I’ll never call Dent good looking, but different strokes for different folks I guess. :)   The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting different results, so voting for either of my Republocrat competitors is really a wasted vote.  Unless you are excited by MORE taxes, MORE war, MORE debt, MORE spending, LESS liberty, FEWER jobs, and LESS prosperity, I am the only sane option in this election.  

America is in great peril.  The greatest enemies to the rule of law and our society are not to be found in far-flung deserts and caves on the other side of the world, but are rather here in DC with the failed two-headed, one-party Republocrat system.  My volunteers have fought through the unfair ballot access process in order to give the people in the district their one precious chance to elect a private citizen who will defend the rule of law and their liberties, not pander to corporate lobbyists and DC power brokers.

My campaign is one of the largest independent or third party congressional races in the nation, and some volunteers have been working for the campaign for over a year now.  I have promised real accountability through a novel-yet-simple plan for transparent government I nicknamed “Our Open Office.”  Every individual who wants to be heard will be heard, and I believe Our Open Office will revolutionize politics.  To learn more, see this.

If there ever was a time and place for a candidate like myself to win, it is right here in the greater Lehigh Valley.  80-90% of the people I speak with do not trust the Republocrats.  Many are unemployed by the economic misadventures of Congress.  

He said REPUBLOCRATS! Awesome… ok continuing…

Sending a true independent - who has refused corporate lobbyist and special interest money, refused the lucrative congressional healthcare and pension plans, and will donate $116,000 of the $174,000 salary to local non-profit hospitals - will send a strong message to not just DC but the rest of the country.  Remember, close to 40% of the electorate is not registered with either the Democrats or Republicans, and all I need is 40% to win in a three-way race.

The incumbent (Dent) is a 20-year career politician who has done nothing to prevent the economic depression our country is entering.  He routinely receives 50% of his funds from corporate lobbyist and special interest groups. He is a Big Government Republican who voted away our economic freedoms with the Banker and Mortgage Bailouts, and our personal freedoms with the Patriot Act. 

Callahan is just another 13-year career politician backed by the White House and special interests, and the people of the district can expect him to obey orders and vote the party line from what can be learned from his very limited website and public talks.  He supported the Banker Bailout and taxes like the $1 trillion tax bill Congress recently passed.  I would not be surprised if he would reauthorize the PATRIOT Act and continue the wars along with the rest of the Democrats in Congress — who, mind you,  spent many years griping about Bush and Cheney — but have recently voted to EXTEND the PATRIOT Act and EXPAND the Afghanistan war.  Information here.

So yes, I do think I have a shot against Tweedledee and Twiddledum.  Plus everyone loves the underdog :)

3. How has your grassroots campaign been going? I think I saw you at Senior Fest mixing it up.

The volunteers and I have made some fantastic progress the past few weeks.  Campaign HQ just opened near the Route 378/309 junction in an old 1800s tavern, I was invited to take part in the Morning Call debate this October, and we’ve finished the signature gathering process.  

On July 30th the campaign is throwing a Freedom Concert at the Garfield Hotel and Grille in Northampton from 7-11 pm, the event is open to the public and free, more details will be upcoming on the campaign website.  

4. Awesome, I can’t wait to come drink with you. You have many nice.. um… photos on your website. Do the ladies dig a guy who wears eyeliner, I mean who took your photos?

LOL.. if you must know, my brother snapped the one for the campaign flyer with my digital camera.  Give a grassroots campaign a break, a replacement will be out once we use up the current flyers.  The one on the website is untouched, and I’ve never worn eyeliner - though several girlfriends have tried and failed.

5. Dude, seriously, there is no reason why we are not hanging out every weekend listening to The Cure, just sayin’. Ok, so What is the MOST important issue, in your opinion, at stake in this election? (this is not a trick question.)

The economy - which includes both the unemployment problem and also the upcoming debt crisis with the dollar - Congress is simply spending too much and printing too much money.  

Governments do not create jobs, only people do.  To cure the unemployment problem, all that must be done is to stop the government interventions into the tax, labor, and regulatory laws.  The only barrier preventing our society from succeeding in fixing the unemployment problem is the separation of the state’s interventions from the economy.

The typical, dime-a-dozen schemes by career politicians primarily consist of resorting to the printing press or market interventions such as “jobs programs.”   We must always remember that GOVERNMENT HAS NOTHING – it must create the dollars out of thin air or tax someone else to be able to distribute out funds in the first place!

http://towneforcongress.com/platform-issues/jobs/

Sound money is the hallmark of a prosperous society, yet the US dollar is not backed by anything.  Sound money not only imposes fiscal discipline upon government, impeding reckless federal spending and imprudent warfare, but it also provides a stable unit of account, store of value, and medium of exchange for entrepreneurs, businesses, and individuals.

When the Federal Reserve inflates or deflates the money supply, there is no net benefit to society whatsoever.  Obviously, the key to prosperity does not lie in running a printing press endlessly, like Zimbabwe, and it defies logic that America’s prosperity would increase if every American helped deflate the money supply by burning a $100 bill.

http://towneforcongress.com/platform-issues/sound-money-and-jobs/

6. I only burn $100 bills when lighting my illegal Cubans, (and I don’t mean cigars!) but enough about me, what do you love the most about the area you would be serving if you got elected?

Serving the people.  I volunteer at a soup kitchen every week in Bethlehem, and working with the other volunteers and chatting with our customers is one of my favorite times every week.  When I am elected, the people will have a servant and defender who will never betray them to the immoral madness of the Republocrats, central bankers, and corporate lobbyists.   

7. You said Republocrat again. Do you think you can drink John Callahan under the table?

Only if we are playing water or chocolate milk beirut like I used to back in my Lehigh University days.  As a candidate and while in public office, by my own personal choice, I’ve decided not to drink alcohol, smoke, or use drugs unless necessary for medical reasons.  While there is nothing wrong with drinking or smoking as long as you do not harm other individuals, I believe that as a representative of the people, I should have a clear mind at all times. Citizens should not have to worry about their Congressman being influenced into backdoor DC deals by vices that change their state of mind. 

8. Have you ever been to the Your Welcome Inn?

No, but I think it is right next to Sal’s and the Wildflower where I eat lunch or hang out every now and then, so maybe I will stop by sometime.

9. Favorite album from the 1990s? (They probably have it at the Your Welcome Inn.

Smash by the Offspring, still my favorite album ever.

Editor’s note: Awesome choice.

10. If you happen not to win, are you going to be looking to go into any other sort of politics?

After I win on November 2nd, I have promised to run again in 2012.  I think 4 years is enough time to propose, share, and promote my ideas.  I want to serve as a temporary public servant to help save the country, not make a career of this politics stuff.  Plus, with the salary I will be accepting (just the median household income, the rest will be donated to local non-profit hospitals) - I am sure I will want to return the private sector, and maybe work as an engineer like I did for the past 8 years.

11. Oh, that reminds me, I recently decided to go vegetarian. Do you think blue is a good color on me?

I have no idea, but I can tell my own “funny vegetarian-for-a-month” story of my own from the time I lived in China that involves a dog and a hatchet.

12. If you were to challenge Dent or Callahan, specifically, on one of the campaign issues they are touting, what would each be?

Great question.  For the incumbent, his fiscal responsibility.  His vote to approve the Banker Bailout is indefensible.  Not only did it cost the taxpayer $800 billion, but the big banks profited at the expense of the rest of the economy.  Congress let the Federal Reserve secretly spend another $2 TRILLION in off-the-balance-sheet transactions per the Bloomberg Financial lawsuit.  Today the FDIC (which “insures” bank deposits) is insolvent as the deposit insurance fund is $21 billion in the red.  

The government should not be issuing special favors to any corporation for any reason, as to do so the government must first steal from someone else.  When government hands out taxpayer money to select groups, they have the advantage of using it first – paying higher wages, creating jobs that have less economic benefit to society, and investing or leveraging money to the detriment of their competition.

The bailouts and stimulus plans served to benefit the government’s favorite corporations at the expense of every individual in America. By creating more future debt, the government has worsened the present imbalances and placed our next generations into bondage. Whether it is the military-industrial complex, Big Oil, Big Pharm, Big Ag, or the financial firms who bankroll their Establishment politicians into power, the crony corporatism and revolving door between the Treasury Department, the FED and Wall Street must end.

http://towneforcongress.com/platform-issues/bailouts-and-corporatism/

For Callahan, a year after he began his campaign, he has yet to issue any serious positions.  I would instead challenge him on a topic he has not been completely silent on so far - the wars abroad.  My stance on the wars has always been very clear: to avoid bankrupting our nation and causing even more “collateral damage” in the countries we now occupy.   As Congressman, I will drive for a rapid immediate and orderly withdrawal from both Iraq and Afghanistan.  I will not approve a single dollar for these unconstitutional wars of aggression.  

Per the Pentagon, there is less than 100 members of Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan.  Using a conventional army to capture Al-Qaeda is just plain ridiculous.  It is like paying the entire Eagles defense to tackle Justin Bieber.  Special op forces operating under special constitutional warrants (called letters of marque and reprisal) is the lawful and most efficient solution to the terrorist problem.  

Addressing the threat of suicide terrorism by the use of occupational, conventional armies has only worsened the situation at the extreme cost of hundreds of billions of dollars and thousands of lives.  To defeat suicide terrorists one must capture the current generation and prevent the next generation from being created from collateral damage and blowback.  Our armies in Iraq and Afghanistan are creating more future terrorists and aggression against our country.  Letters of Marque and Reprisal would be extremely cost-effective – or we can choose to let the “War on Terror” grind on for another 9 years as our economy crashes. The annual $1+ trillion military spending is not economically sustainable.

http://towneforcongress.com/platform-issues/iraq-war/
http://towneforcongress.com/platform-issues/afghanistan-war/

13. Have you ever texted while driving in Bethlehem?

All the time before they made it illegal. I will admit I barely had time to drive in between reading the Encyclopedia Britannica and eating lunch. :)  Driving is quite dangerous enough and texting, eating, changing the channel on the radio are all activities that can impair a driver.  

There you have it kids! Jake Towne texts while driving. Well, he did, you know, before it was illegal. I wonder what else he… eh, nevermind. Thanks Jake!

Go tell your friends you can read stuff here that may not dissolve your brains.

Depression? What Depression? Mini-Golf!!!!

Someone MIGHT want to inform Bethlehem Mayor John Callahan that the economy is, well, how do you say this? TANKING!

The mayor is all gung-ho about putting in a new mini golf course to replace the crappy one on Illick’s Mill Road so that families have some fun things to do close to home, you know, on the weekends when they are finding out where they are going to get their next meals since dad just got laid off and mom is hooking.

If Bethlehem proceeds with a $400,000 makeover of its shuttered course on Illick’s Mill Road, officials hope to hit some green by replacing the tame obstacles like the windmill with more eye-popping hazards such as waterfalls.

They say they can make back their investment in a couple of years by attracting families looking for cheap entertainment close to home.

…

”In light of this being the worst economy since the Great Depression, why borrow large amounts of money to do projects like this when we don’t know where we will be financially in six months or a year from now?” Councilman Michael Schweder said. ”Things are not going to be better.”


”If this [miniature golf course] is a casualty of the economic times, so be it. That is council’s decision,” Mayor John Callahan said. ”But we do think it would be good for the community. With the right investment, it would would bring to the city nearly $250,000 a year — paying for itself in a few years and becoming a money maker.” Source

I GUESS I can see how Callahan thinks that it might bring in some money and mini golf kicks ass, BUT, now is clearly not the right time to be bringing up stuff that can easily wait for, EVER.

Callahan best focus on some more pressing issues, like unemployment and all the gun shots that resonate like ping pong balls on Bethlehem’s South Side every night.

However, if mini golf was put in, maybe they’d lay down their arms and settle their drug turf disputes over who can get the golf ball into the scary clown’s open mouth on hole 18.