Bethlehem Health Director Lady Hits Man With Glass Candle

Bethlehem health director, and someone I’d love to party with, Judith Maloney, cut some dude’s head open last night and her job is probably on life support.

(Get it!?)

This isn’t Maloney’s first brush with the law. She had a DUI a few years back and seems to like her drinky drink. Nothing wrong with that. I mean, State Senator Lisa Boscola drinks like a truck driver and she’s still my first Lehigh Valley lady crush, just beating out Kathy Craine.

In any event, here are the deets.

Judith Maloney, 49, of the 300 block of Grandview Boulevard, cut Mark Correll’s head with a glass candle at her home, according to police. Correll was taken to Lehigh Valley Hospital-Muhlenberg for treatment, according to police, and Maloney was charged with simple assault and harassment. SOURCE: The Morning Call

OH wait there is more! They were drinking at Stahley’s! This makes more sense now.

Correll told police that he’d been out to dinner earlier that evening at Stahley’s Cellarette in Allentown with Maloney, court records say. Correll said Maloney left the restaurant about 20 minutes before he did and Correll had asked her to let the dog out when she got home, according to court documents.

When Correll got home, he said he learned Maloney had not let the dog out and the two began to quarrel, court papers say.

Correll was walking down the stairs when she came up behind him with a Yankee Candle holder and struck him, according to court papers. Correll told police he braced for the hit, heard the glass shatter and felt blood running down his face, court papers say. SOURCE: The Express-Times

When asked about the arrest, Mayor John Callahan was like “Derpy, derp, derp.”

Correll is apparently a fire fighter and such. I wonder what the hullabaloo was all about!??!?! Hmmmm. Share some dirty details…

Police Blotter Roundup with Facebook Profiles (Happy Weekend)

This never gets old, does it?

You know, normally on a Friday I’m all stoked to do happy hour or something. But, I’m just not sure… maybe I need a change. Maybe I need a new direction where I can do things at 5 p.m. on a Friday that will lead me toward a better path of enlighten…. hahahaha screw that who is in for happy hour?

Darryl Schweitzer, 24, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) of the first block of Ridge Street in Bangor, was cited for public drunkenness at 1:25 this morning at Roosevelt’s 21st on East Elizabeth Avenue, police said.

Bryan Coombs, 27, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) of the 500 block of Stones Crossing Road in Palmer Township, was stopped at 1:07 this morning for allegedly turning right on red illegally on East Third Avenue and having a burned out tail light, police said. Coombs was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence. He was also cited for traffic violations.

Ian Juma, 19, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) of the 100 block of East Ettwein Street in the city, was arrested for possession of a small amount of marijuana at 10:25 p.m. Thursday in the 1200 block of Randolf Road. Juma’s car was stopped by police for an unspecified reason. SOURCE: The Express-Times

Ten bucks says that the “unspecified reason” they stopped Ian Juma’s car is because he’s totally black.

It’s true and it happens!

In other news, have a great weekend.

Let’s play hide and seek. I am going to go hide, you can seek me on my twitter.

Associated Mess ticket winner will be announced on Facebook at 3 p.m.!

Musikfest Police Blotter Round Up, Everyone’s Passed Out Drunk (FACEBOOK PROFILES)

Lynn Olanoff, of The Express-Times, probably really enjoyed her job today. Because, I know that I would have a blast checking out the police blotter after the first weekend of Musikfest.

But, I probably would have peed myself a ton so, better her than me. Let’s get started.

• At 2:20 a.m. Friday, Alan Bath, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) 31, of the first block of West Spruce Street in Bethlehem, was found passed out on the South Bethlehem Greenway near Adams Street. 
• At 3:04 a.m. Friday, Scott Lush, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) 28, of the 1700 block of Linden Street in Bethlehem, was found sleeping in the front yard of a home on 300 block East Washington Street with his legs in the roadway.
• At 9:59 p.m. Friday, Eric Madonna, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) 26, of the 4400 block of Route 309, Schnecksville, was found passed out on a bench at the Levitt Pavilion.
• At 11:30 p.m. Friday, Brian Baumbach, 42, of the 200 block of Aurora Street in Bethlehem, was found face down on the sidewalk in the 200 block of Aurora Street with his dog by his side.
• At 5:32 a.m. Saturday, Terence Aungst, 21, of the 500 block of Fourth Avenue in Bethlehem, was found sleeping on a bench at 400 Heckewelder Place.
• At 9:23 a.m. Saturday, Steve Schwartz, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) 35, of the 3000 block of Washington Street in Bethlehem Township, was found lying on the sidewalk in the 100 block of East First Street. SOURCE: The Express-Times

If I was a cop this would be the part of my job I most looked forward to. Waking up drunks? It’s like a video game.

I’d start with a slight nudge. Then I’d maybe give him a bit of jab. Then I’d go into total freakout mode and smack him and be like “OMG, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE THERE IS A FIRE TSUNAMI!!!” And then they’d jump up and freak out and run aimlessly around until I tased them and arrested them.

Ah, daydreaming. Gotta love it.

Don’t forget to get in on our Musikfest Photo Scavenger Hunt! There are prizes!