Lehigh Valley with Love

Man's Penis Legally a Deadly Weapon

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 10:46:50 -0500

Remember when Magic Johnson got AIDS? I do. Well, I don’t remember like exactly WHEN he got it, but I remember him being on TV saying he got it. And, at that time, one would think “Oh, man, Magic Johnson is SO going to die in like a week.” But, lo and behold he’s still alive and kicking and how did his wife NOT divorce him? Amazing.

Anyway, AIDS has come to the point now that drugs, while they haven’t CURED the disease, are definitely taking a big chunk out of its former immediate death sentence tag.

However, there are still those who have the disease and don’t mind spreading it like Gummi Bears.

A 20-year-old man infected with HIV, who is already in jail for having high-risk sex with a young girl last year, now faces additional charges for having sex with a second girl, the Hunterdon County Prosecutor’s office said this morning.

County officials said Rick D. Webster, who previously lived in Alexandria Township, allegedly had sex with a juvenile girl several times between May and August.

For this offense, Webster was charged with sexual assault, third-degree diseased person committing an act of sexual penetration and endangering the welfare of a child, officials said. He remains in Hunterdon County jail in lieu of $110,000 bail.

The third-degree diseased-person charge Webster faces is reserved for defendants either with HIV, which is the virus that causes AIDS, or with AIDS itself. A lesser fourth-degree charge is for defendants infected with other venereal diseases, records show. Source

So, in effect, this man’s penis is a deadly weapon and is treated as such. Fuck right, it should be.

I knew someone who was an Army Ranger or something like that and he had to (legally, or he was bullshitting me) tell someone at least three times to stop being an aggressor before he could fight them because he was trained to kill shit, like baby seals and Iraqis.

That must be interesting.

You Spring Forward This Sunday (Three Weeks EARLY!!!)

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:50:00 -0500

Springing forward BLOWS.

BLOWS BLOWS BLOWS!!!

As you can see on this picture, Blue are areas that currently use ~~Daylight Savings~~ (I have been informed by an uber anal individual that it’s Daylight SAVING time, we can all sleep better), Orange are the areas that gave it up and red are the areas that do not observe daylight saving because they are too busy fighting wars.

And because Congress thinks that they can do whatever the fuck they want, Daylight Saving is super unnatural… I think it’s kaka. I don’t see why we need it anymore…. (does some googling)

“The practice is controversial.^[1] Adding daylight to afternoons benefits retailing, sports, and other activities that exploit sunlight after working hours,^[3] but causes problems for farming, evening entertainment and other occupations tied to the sun.^[4]^[5] Traffic fatalities are reduced when there is extra afternoon daylight;^[6] its effect on health and crime is less clear” Source

What. Ever. I just hate having my Sunday all screwed up and then missing Saved By the Bell because it’s on at 9 a.m. and I think it’s 8 a.m. or whatever. It’s just really not fair.

Well, it’s only Wednesday, but let’s remind one and all: clocks spring forward early Sunday morning.

And as fire officials will remind you, this is an excellent opportunity tochange the batteries in your smoke detectors.

By act of Congress a few years back, Daylight Saving Time starts three weeks earlier now.

And while there will be more sun in the afternoon, beware the morning hours. High school kids will be heading off to school buses in the dark for a few weeks. Source

You know when is also a good time to change the batteries in your fire alarm? Before there’s a fire.

Everything about DST (as we call it in the business) is that it just totally fucks everything up all over. I’m getting dizzy thinking about it. My head hurts. I don’t want to have to do all that wrangling in my head where I’m like “Ok, so we’re meeting up at noon tomorrow, like noon REAL time or noon this new fangled bullshit time?”

Ughhhhhh

Hate Mail!!!

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:37:00 -0500

As one could imagine, I receive a truck load of hate mail (but I receive a barge full of love letters) anyway, the one I got yesterday was super fun, so I decided to share it with you. Names have been removed to protect the innocent!

Well, hey, let this be a lesson to you everyone!!! LOCK UP YOUR FACEBOOK. If you have a picture up and someone can link to it, then take down the photo and the link won’t work anymore.

Don’t shoot the messenger.

Knowing is half the battle.

Total Bar Fight at Magnolias!!!!

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:41:00 -0500

So, if you’ve never been to Magnolias in Orefield, then you wouldn’t know that it’s pretty nondescript. No, that’s wrong. It’s mildly descript. It a quaint, apparently former home that has been converted into a bar/restaurant and if I was really old I would probably hang out there a lot because it’s a nice place. I have only been there one time, but the one time I did go it was without incident (besides some girl trying to touch my nipples) and was as low key and nice as once could imagine a bar in the Orefield to be.

So, the fact that it totally had a huge barfight is…… odd, at least to me…

Most people go to Magnolia’s in Orefield for dinner, wine tastings and jazz brunches, not a battle royal.

South Whitehall Township police broke up a large fight and arrested five people Sunday in the bar portion of the country inn at 2204 Village Road.

The fight at 1:53 a.m. left some people hurt but none seriously, according to South Whitehall police Lt. John Christman. He said he’s never heard of a fight at Magnolia’s before, calling it ”very unusual, in my 18 years of experience.”

After speaking to victims and witnesses, five people from Lebanon County were arrested on a slew of charges, some as serious as aggravated assault and resisting arrest. The restaurant’s co-owner said the fight began after one of the five vandalized a restroom and later punched a guest.

John Kerstetter, who owns Magnolia’s with his wife, Kim, was behind the bar when the melee broke out. He said the restaurant was rented for a 30th birthday party, and the people involved in the fight were with a person who had been invited. The party was a casual, buffet-style dinner for 40 to 50 people.

Kerstetter said the fight started after one of the five people who were charged vandalized a restroom. When that person was confronted about the vandalism by another guest, he became irate and later punched the accuser in the back of the head, Kerstetter said.

Kerstetter stopped the party, angering some people, who then began fighting, he said.

”It’s a real shame because it was a good night up until that point,” he said.

Those charged were:

Jose M. Martinez-Feliciano, 20; with simple assault, criminal mischief, disorderly conduct and underage drinking; sent to Lehigh County Prison under $5,000 bail.

Edgardo Rosario-Feliciano, 21; with aggravated assault, simple assault, criminal mischief, resisting arrest, escape and disorderly conduct; sent to the prison under $25,000 bail.

Andres A. Cevallos-Rangel, 21; with criminal mischief, simple assault and disorderly conduct; sent to the prison under $5,000 bail.

William E. Cevallos-Rangel, 22; with resisting arrest, institutional vandalism, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct; sent to the prison under $10,000 bail.

Karina I. Vega, 25; with simple assault and disorderly conduct; sent to Lehigh County Prison under $5,000 bail. Source

What do all those arrested have in common? You guessed it, they are all…….. in their 20s!

What? Is there something else?

Anyway, I hope this doesn’t give Magnolia’s a bad name (it totally shouldn’t.) If it was closer to where I lived I’d probably hit it up more often.

Oh, so I totally finalized where I’m going on my super awesome super awesome date of awesome!!! But, I don’t trust you so I can’t tell you.

SOME GUY FROM EASTON WON AN OSCAR!? (lies)

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:39:00 -0500

I promise you I’m not a day late on this I just really had problems writing about it since it is such a load of shit.

Besides that, I was really excited to get home last night because Double Jeopardy with Ashely Judd was going to be on TV and if ever where was a film that DESERVED an Oscar and did not receive one, then Double Jeopardy was that film, followed closely by Kiss The Girls….

Anyyyyway, a man, named Roger Ross Willilams, won an Oscar for his documentary film entitled Music by Prudence, which is apparently about a girl in a wheelchair from some other country who makes music with her mind and eyeballs.

For more about the movie, go here. Then he was interrupted by some gutter bitch middle aged woman with a head full of copper penny colored hair. To read more about her, go here.

UGH, anyway it was a big deal because she was a bitch BUT ALSO BECAUSE WILLIAMS (Facebook Profile Here) APPARENTLY GRADUATED FROM EASTON HIGH SCHOOL LIKE A YEAR AGO!!.

Oh, 1981…

Now, does this take anything away from his great film? No. Is it still news that he was interrupted? Yes. Are local Easton based newspaper basically saying “SEE WE KNEW HE WAS FROM EASTON so now we can kinda almost report about the Oscars!!!” Yes. Yes they are.

Easton native Roger Ross Williams, who won an Academy Award for the best short documentary Sunday night for his film “Music by Prudence,”was finally able to give his acceptance speech uninterrupted Monday on “Larry King Live”.

The 1981 Easton Area High Schoolgraduate had started to give his Oscar thanks during the awards ceremony Sunday and honor the film’s subject, Prudence Mabhena, when producer Elinor Burkett stole his thunder while proclaiming “Isn’t it always the way that the man doesn’t let the woman talk?”

Williams was as seemingly unfazed the next day as he explained the bizarre circumstances that surrounded his whirlwind night.

“Who knew that would be the biggest story of the Oscars?”Williams said. “I could have won an Oscar for short documentary and everyone would have forgotten about it the next day. But now, this is even better for the film and even more people will see it.”

The freelance director hopes his 15 minutes of fame continue as he plans a biopic of Rwandan President Paul Kagame and perhaps, eventually, the opportunity to work on feature-length films. Source

My only problem is that I can’t, for the LIFE of me, find a story that was written PRIOR to him winning the Oscar. I mean, if everyone knew he was so fucking great, why wasn’t there a huge article in the paper before the Oscars? Why? Because fuck them that’s why….I get it though, makes sense, papers need to be sold and this is the best way to do it.

What I am MORE upset about, however, is that if this guy is so great, why has no one put him on the list of famous people from Easton’s Wiki page yet?

Freaking Mulgrew Miller - jazz pianist, is on there!!!!

Seriously, if you’re going to talk about how he was on Larry King Live and he’s going to sell your papers or get people to come to your website, then at least have a reporter jump in there and write a sentence about him…

Anyway, congratulations to you, Roger Ross Williams, no matter where you went to high school.

Chucky Cullen Serial Killer's Ugly Mug Brought Back Up.

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:36:13 -0500

So, you’re familiar with Charles Cullen, AKA The Angel of Death? Probably the only other serial killer who operated in this area besides Harvey Robinson.

Ok, so Cullen killed tons of people (nearly 30 or so) by injecting them with shit when he worked as a nurse. For more reading on Cullen, hit up here.

I don’t know why I’ve always been fascinated with serial killers. I mean, I don’t think it makes me a weird dude, I just find the whole … business of being a serial killer totally just… alien and weird. I mean, these people are living normal lives, getting up, going to work, killing some people, heading home and cooking dinner and going to bed.

There are some people who may have witnessed someone get hit by a car when they were like 4 and they still can’t sleep at night due to bad dreams by the time they reach adulthood, and there are those who can dismember people and go to work the next day as if nothing happened.

Just truly amazing in my book…

Anyway, even though Cullen is serving life in New Jersey for his crimes, Allentown is going to try and give him more time. Now, I understand that he should be held responsible and all that, but he’s already in for life, is this just a waste of taxpayer’s money? This is a civil trial, so maybe I don’t understand the law that great… blah blah blah blah blah

The Lehigh County trial of Charles Cullen will start Tuesday morning in Allentown after the jury was selected today.

Six men, six women and two alternates were selected before lunch. Court adjourned for the day and testimony will begin at 9:30 a.m.

Witnesses are expected to include David Fowler, a forensic pathologist and victims’ family members.

Cullen was not in the courtroom, nor is he expected to attend the trial; Judge Edward Reibman said Cullen opted not to participate in the civil trial brought against him by eight families.

Cullen, a former nurse who spent 16 years working at hospitals in the Lehigh Valley and northern New Jersey, confessed to killing 29 patients and trying to kill six more. He is serving life sentences in New Jersey for those crimes.

Cullen gave critically ill hospital patients lethal doses of medicinal cocktails.

Two potential jurors said they had direct connections to Cullen. A man said he worked at St. Luke’s and Easton hospitals and knew Cullen. A woman, a nurse, said she worked at one of the same facilities as Cullen.

The potential jurors were asked if they read or saw media coverage of Cullen’s cases and if they knew people involved in the case.

The group of 48 people was also asked if they agreed with artificial caps on civil case damages. The jury will determine what amount, if any, Cullen owes to the families suing him.

The suits heading to trial were filed by: Robert Bohning, Clarence Fish, Joseph Gostony, Jacqueline Mock, Victor Muschlitz, Steven Shachter, Sharon DeAngelis and Joaquim Vicoso.

Most of the plaintiffs are family members of patients who died at St. Luke’s Hospital; most also have ties to the Lehigh Valley. Source

I guess you kinda have to put yourself in the shoes of the families, however. I mean, fuck this guy, I’d want his family to have to pay me a ton of money, too. SO fucked up. I tell ya, you can’t trust anyone. One time I had to get a cardiogram at my doctor’s office and the nurse was like “take off your top” and I was like, “you first.”

Pen Argyl Snow Police

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 09:40:37 -0500

UGhhhh.. can it PLEASE just be spring already?

Honestly, the air smells like spring, doesn’t it? I mean, when it’s like 5 p.m. and the sun is setting all pink-like and the air just smells and nice and Downy fresh, I mean, you know that spring is coming. There is no more WINTER. I mean, winter, really, we totally got the idea. You can stop now.

Last month’s major snowfalls were a boon for local contractors who cleared parking areas and sidewalks of Pen Argylbusinesses and residents.

But Borough Council and Mayor Mikal Sabatine want to curtail the practice of putting plowed and shoveled snow back onto streets in violation of the borough’s snow ordinance.

Borough Manager Robin Zmoda said letters to business owners and residents will inform them of the borough’s intent to enforce the snow ordinance’s codes and fines in the future.

”We haven’t had a winter like this in a long time and people don’t know what to do with the snow,” Zmoda said. ”But we should draft a letter stating that we will cite and fine you for not following the snow ordinance.”

Council members said some contractors and residents put snow back on the streets when clearing their property. In one case, council member Jan Surotchak noted that one of the borough’s main arteries saw so much snow pushed back on the road that crews needed to revisit the area.

The board’s general consensus is that property owners, businesses owners and contractors all need to know the specifics of the ordinance, even if contractors are the main offenders.

Sabatine told council that a similar effort worked well earlier this year in Wilson.

”What Wilson borough did this year after the first big storm was great. They just walked in to business owners and handed them a letter. I understand it’s worked out well,” Sabatine said. ”We’re spending tax dollars on cleanup, and the ordinance reads that we can charge for [additional clean-up] costs.” Source

Oh, wow, this is unique, here is a response directly e-mailed to ME from Haitian people in regards to this issue:

Dear Mr. LVwithLove,

First off, congrats on winning your date, we know you will do the best date ever. In regards to everyone in Pen Argyl, Pa being upset about snow removal, we just wanted to say that we can understand. Recently, everyone we know was died when the sidewalk ate them.

Love,

Hatians

Perspective is a beautiful thing.

Best. Date. Ever. is Coming!

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 09:15:59 -0500

Sooooo, remember when I totally called out Rebecca Wilder and was like, you won’t go on a date with me because you only date not fun dudes?

Well, she accepted my challenge and, um… now I have to come through with the BEST DATE EVER like I promised!!!

Crap!

Due to the site’s strong following, there has been significant feedback on the article and particularly since my challenge acceptance. During my recent visit they were debating where this date should occur. Apparently they even want a photographer to join us and an article may follow.

Whoa!

You know I am not so drawn to the spotlight, but hey it is sure to be the most interesting date I have ever had. In fact, the purpose of the challenge is for Mr. LVwithLove to show me how a “real” date is supposed to be in response to my entry “Just Fine Evening”.

So will he and the contributors choose lower level seats to a Flyers game? A local rock concert? Could it be drinks and jazz? A candlelight dinner? The possibilities are endless, but some of the above were discussed. I just hope I pick an outfit that is adaptable to whatever crazy situation they get me into. One comment even, jokingly, alluded to my needing a fire-retardant suit. Oh boy.

I will do anything and go anywhere, so I decided to avoid the discussion. But you can feel free to help the guy out. You all know me pretty well by now.

What is surprising about the entire situation is that the guy actually is social, and witty, and definitely not boring. I think he writes music, plays guitar, and from what I gathered his music taste was good too, i.e. he probably voted for the pickle. Source

Ok, do me a quick favor since you’re awesome and head over to her article quick, here, and leave a comment for her! Tell her how AWESOME I am… (I mean, if her expectations are really high then I assume that a little bit of deflation will be an OK thing.)

So, I’m still waiting for the Beckster (she just got a Facebook?) to get in touch with me to hammer down all the details, however, once that is done I will get back to y’all and we can go from there.

No, you cannot come, unless you’re going to cover tips. No, we’re not going to go to Glow. Um…. I’ll figure it out. Any tips or suggestions are welcome, though.

Remember Zach and Adriana? F*#% Them! They Totally Broke up!

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:46:00 -0500

So, do you remember Zach Heffelfinger and Adriana Nikles? Remember??? The high school couple from Emmaus last year that was going to BE IN LOVE forevers?!??!!

RECAP:

As students streamed out of Allentown’s Central Catholic High School at dismissal today, girls shrieked and giggled when they spotted Emmaus High School junior Zach Heffelfinger. He was holding a dozen roses in each hand.

In between was a huge, hand-made sign: “Adriana Nikles, will you go to the prom with me?”

By the time the object of his affection stepped out of the door, a contingent of grinning students were milling around 17-year-old Zach.

One look at the sign, and all sophomore Adriana could do was throw her arms around Zach’s neck and say “Yes, I will.” Zach’s romantic surprise began earlier in the day when he got Adriana’s friends to plant puzzle pieces around the school fit to form the word “PROM?” Source

Awww! They are going to be in LOVE FOREVER.

No, it didn’t even last another fucking year.

Just so you know. Here is Zach’s current Facebook page where is apparently now into dudes.

And here is Adriana’s.

They aren’t on each other’s friends’ lists kids.

What have we learned here? Don’t waste money on women unless they are pregnant with your kid.

Thank you, move on.

If you have any information on what went down and why Zach is now hugging guys, please e-mail me at lehighvalleywithlove@gmail.com

Thanks to my buddy Greg for bringing this to my attention.

I Challenge You, Rebecca Wilder, To a Date with Mr. LVwithLOVE!

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:46:00 -0500

UPDATE! Rebecca has ACCEPTED my challenge. Please use the comments section below to suggest activities! I have already secured a professional photographer…

So, there is some 32-year-old chick who blogs about dating and stuff in the Lehigh Valley. She never seems to find luck, but has some good tips and stuff for those who are looking pa nub in all the wrong places….

Her own dates, however, seem not to work out as planned, or are just overall pretty boring.

That being said, I am publicly challenging Miss Rebecca Wilder, e-mail her at singledoutinthevalley@gmail.com, to a date with me, Mr. LVwithLOVE, to show her exactly just how it’s done.

In order to woo her, I am going to include a recent “date” of hers and tell her how I would make it just that much fucking better.

I begin this entry as I return from yet another date. Sigh. Perhaps not the best time to express my feelings about dating, but we know that dating has it’s ups and downs. Don’t worry, nothing bad happened. Actually I had a just fine evening. That’s the problem, it was just … Fine. Boring.

Rebecca, can I call you Becki? I’m going to start out by saying that not only am I open to sharing feelings with you, but I can make sure that not one minute of our date would be boring. I don’t do boring. I can’t. I really strive to be the best and most social (yet polite) gentleman that I assure you we wouldn’t be at a loss for conversation or activity.

No sparks. No excitement. No similarities. Not much to talk about.

I routinely sit at home and play Jeopardy! with the television. Meaning that not only do I have TONS to talk about, but I’m super up on current events and you can tell me all about whatever programmes you watch on television and I will tell you stories about my childhood and I’ll pretend to be really into your hobbies.

I suppose most people slow down as the years go by. Or, maybe some people are just not exciting to begin with. But I find too many people I talk to just don’t have much to actually talk about. They have no hobbies. No passion for anything. I try to find common ground and interests with my dates. I try not to talk too much, but be polite and patient, and ask open ended questions. Conversation starters if you will.

HOBBIES! I called it! Ok, so now we’re getting to the important stuff. Firstly, I have a passion for the arts, art in general, really. I also have a passion for asking you tons of questions about stuff. And I PROMISE to listen to you while trying to think of some way to relate it to me drinking too much. Also, common ground is easy to find. I live here, you live here. You’re a girl. I like girls. I mean, this is already starting great!!!!

Me: So, what did you do this week? Him: Not much. I worked.

Me: Do you have plans for the weekend? Him: No, I guess I might go see my brother.

Me: Oh, that’s nice. What do you guys do? Him: Probably nothing really.

Me: Well, what do you normally do with your friends? Him: I don’t know. Not much.

Becki, it’s obvious that this guy is a douchebag. I mean. I would be responding with telling you not only EXACTLY what I did with my friends, but I’d probably even reenact a few of the memories, possibly pulling a waiter over to serve as my friend Glenn when he instructed me that I should have sex with some girl I just met at the bar, to her face, as he was leaving the bar and her and I were having a conversation about white wine. He’s SOOO classy.

Great. Exciting. So, I guess once your friends get married and leave you behind, you just stop having a personality and life of your own? Like co-dependence.

I guess there are women who will be happy with that life. I know that at my old age of, eh ehm 32, I’m supposed to just settle down and have a family and forget that anything else goes on in the world.

OH, Rebecca you are so silly. Firstly, 32 is the new 22 and I can tell by the way you type that you know how to dance. So, lets just forget about all this drab talk about co-dependence and just start talking about great stuff, like 80s music and Thai food.

I see this all the time. Men and women, you just lay down your arms. Even beautiful young people. Please don’t take this as my disrespect to any of you who may be reading. It is a perfectly fine choice if that’s what is important to you. I am just trying to make a point for myself. Don’t forget, that I too thought it was the natural next step at only 23 to be married. Why not? We were happy. Just don’t think you have to stop living because you find your husband, as I will be sure not to do again.

Sounds like you have a bit of built up resentment here… hmm. Ok, well we can totally just look past this. Hey, I’m a pragmatist at heart, so that means I can really just deal with any situation as it comes. I mean, you’re 32, single and have never been married? That means you’re probably either 1. really picky or 2. insane or 3. have more than three cats.

I’m going to just hedge my bets here and go with 1.

The point I am actually making though is this, if you’re an active person of any age, you need to be with others who are like-minded and outgoing. Unfortunately, once most people get to their late twenties they have paired up, married, had kids and have all but ditched their single friends and lifestyles. So, if you’re outgoing, you have to try to date and interact with others that are too.

In previous entries I have stated that I need to be with someone who gets me. I need someone who shares my interests. That I will not settle for less than engaging emotional, mental and physical attraction. I have also stated that you shouldn’t be exactly alike; Compatible Differences. I completely agree with these concepts. Whole heartedly I do. After tonight, and upon reminiscing about previous dates and relationships, I have this to say: for love’s sake, you better have a lot in common. I find it really difficult to be attracted to someone who doesn’t excite me by having similar thoughts and feelings. What a rush when you have things to talk about! When you understand what the other means!

Ok, I’m with you on this one Beckster! I need a girl who “gets me. ” I mean, sure, I may come off as a total and complete asshole with absolutely no reverence for anyone else. But, that’s not the truth. The truth is that I’m really looking for someone who understands my complete and total lack of understanding of why everyone in the world is basically insane in what they do. I mean, hey if you don’t like my music, we can work through that. But, I think you know what I mean here. I think you’re already “getting me.”

This burden, I fully accept as my own, some of you probably don’t have this particular dating dilemma. It is just that I am interested in a lot of different things. I’m interested in life and I really enjoy being out there experiencing it. I have to be with someone who can appreciate that. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of couch time. You know I love to sleep, and it’s been a long time since I stayed out until last call.

I don’t expect a guy to entertain me. I have no trouble whatsoever finding my own entertainment in life, as if you couldn’t already figure that out. But he has to want to do stuff. He has to have passion. Live life with passion! Seriously. We have our entire life ahead of us and if you’re bored with it now, while you’re young and healthy… I don’t even know how to handle that. Most professionals and musicians and actors don’t even get to the level they want to until their thirties. Maybe with my personality I need to date younger guys. I never dated anyone younger than me. What do you think? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all. My Mom is older than my Dad. My best friend is older than her fiancé.

I CAN PLAY GUITAR! I CAN DANCE! I can do tons of shots. TONS of shots. You don’t need to worry about me entertaining you. I mean, just make sure you hold onto my wallet in case the cops come. I know that you’re sad you’re 30, I’m not quite there yet, so YOU CAN TOTALLY live vicariously through my awesome 20 something body for a few months until I’m 30 too and we both start some awful downhill fall into old age.

What I do know for sure, among all of my meanderings, is that love isreal. It’s worth waiting for and when you find it, you might not know it right away, but you will definitely sense that attraction on all levels. You will want to see and talk to that person again to learn more.

Love is totally real!!! I really feel like we are having a great connection here. I mean, I already know that I want to talk to you again and we haven’t even talked for a first time. This is ridiculous!

I can’t say that about these guys that my friends or the websites have set me up with. They are nice, but I just want to meet someone through the normal course of my life, when someone is not making me. It should feel natural. Our paths cross. We talk. We feel attraction and interest. Then, hopefully one of us will be brave enough to ask the other out before it gets awkward. Source

Look no further, Rebecca! And do not feel the need for anyone else to set you up on a date. I officially challenge you to a date with me, Mr. LVwithLOVE and I will wager that you have the best date of your LIFE OR… something.

I mean, we’ll have to work on some sort of terms, but I’m serious. If you do not have the best date you have ever had, I will agree to your silly little terms and will then post them on this blog.

HOWEVER, IF YOU DO have the best date of your life then you have to be like “I had the best date of my life and this guy is awesome.”

So, in recap, e-mail Rebecca for me, make sure she does this or she can NEVER post again because here I am offering her the world. If she ignores this, I don’t know how she could ever blog again about dating in the Lehigh Valley.

All you have to do to accept is e-mail me at lehighvalleywithlove@gmail.com with your acceptance e-mail and it’s ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!

32-Year-Old Cougar Does 15-Year-Old Boy!!! SCANDAL!!!

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:16:00 -0500

Remember in middle school when all the chicks wanted older dudes who were in like 8th and 9th grade? What bullshit. Those guys were such freaking tools. Just because they were a grade ahead and had cars… wait, no… um jobs, wait.. no… what DID they have that I didn’t have in 7th grade? Nothing, that’s what.

And when I got to 8th grade all the 7th grade girls were like, “what’s up let’s make out in the woods.” And i’m like “Woahhhh hold on there, what’s going on?”

But, then I just caved.

So, don’t women generally like OLDER men, by rule or example? I didn’t know 32-year-olds were attracted to teenage boys….

Bethlehem police said a 32-year-old city woman had sex on several occasions last year with a 15-year-old boy.

Jennifer Barbarics, of the 1100 block of Wood Street, told the boy she hated her husband and her life and wanted to be with him instead, according to court papers. Police allege she first had sex with the boy Dec. 20 in the back seat of her car in an alley near Spring Garden Elementary School after picking him up at his home and stopping at a CVS to buy condoms.

Barbarics knew the boy, police said, and had been exchanging text messages with him since late November. Some of the texts described sexual situations, according to court papers, and the boy and Barbarics flirted in the messages as well.

Police said Barbarics last had sex with boy in the attic of her home and on at least one other occasion she tried to have sex with the boy, but failed to find a safe place.

She was charged with four counts each of statutory sexual assault, indecent assault, corruption of minors and unlawful contact with a minor. She was also charged with endangering the welfare of a child. She was sent to Northampton County Prison in lieu of $25,000 bail. Source

To be fair, 32-year-old women are not Cougars yet, they are more like little Ocelots in training. Cougars are 40 and older, I think, by definition. And, to be a Cougar I think you have to be actively pursuing a male under the age of 30?

To the point, if you find a 32-year-old good looking girl who has never been married, watch your back, those girls are all sorts of fucked up.

Also, I hope that this whole fiasco was discovered by accident, because if this girl is good looking (no evidence she is or isn’t) and I was her little troubadour you can bet your ass I’m going to be playing it close to the vest.

Allentown Bans Cell Phone Use While On Skateboards, Bikes and In-Line Skates.... (um?)

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 11:52:00 -0500

So, Allentown banned the use of cell phones while driving… Wow, wait, is this a “progressive” Allentown City Council measure? I’m golf clapping. (Is golf clapping still funny? Let’s pretend it is, just one more time.)

I’m kinda astounded. This is a great move, it’s the right move and I hope that they enforce it starting 10 days from now when it goes into effect.

Holy crap, Allentown did something great and .. wait a fucking minute, you can’t use your cell phone when you’re on the halfpipe….? what?

Allentown council members have voted unanimously to ban people from using hand-held cell phones and similar devices to phone, text or browse while driving, the Associated Press says, based on reporting by the Morning Call.

The measure, approved 7-0, would go into effect 10 days after a signature by Mayor Ed Pawlowski, who supports the bill. Offenders could be fined $150 to $300, and a violation would be a primary traffic offense, meaning police could use it as a reason to pull over a motorist.

Skateboards, inline skaters and bicyclists would also be barred from using cell phones while riding.

Exceptions would be made in cases of emergency, and hands-free devices would be exempt.

Philadelphia, Erie and Harrisburg have passed similar bans. Source

Soooo…you can’t use your cell phone and ride your bicycle? Ok, ok, I can get how this could be a dangerous thing, but.. do you see this often?

Skateboards, in-line skates? Wtf. What is exempt from this? What about unicycles. Can I use my cell phone while riding my unicycle? Big Wheel? POGO STICK? I need to know this shit because I never know how I’m going to be riding dirty when I get into this city….

Knight Rider Fails to Pull Woman Over

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:07:42 -0500

You always hear that whole thing about not pulling over if you can’t see if a cop car is really a cop car?

I guess that only works when it’s really not a cop car.

Because, I kinda have a hard time thinking that a cop would treat you nicely if you didn’t pull over until you got to a well-lit Wal-Mart parking lot to make sure the officer was real. In fact, I think the officer might get pretty mad and taze you.

I guess this doesn’t come up often, but, I mean, it could.

A man driving a car equipped with emergency lights tried to pull over a woman Monday night in Greenwich Township, police said.

The woman was driving on Route 173 when the man pulled up behind her in a red sports car, possibly a Mustang, and activated emergency lights, police said.

Because the car was not marked, the woman did not stop, police said.

As she headed home, the driver pulled up next to her and told her she needed to pull over when she saw emergency lights, police said.

The man neither got out of his car nor identified himself as a police officer, police said. Source

This is pretty scary though, when you think about it a little more. I mean, what was the guy going to do when he pulled her over? Write her a fake ticket on a Sticky Note? I doubt it. This isn’t a good thing.

So, yeah, don’t pull over unless you are 100% sure it’s a cop car… but only if you’re female and it’s nighttime…

Is That a Banana In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Robbing My Bank?

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 12:44:43 -0500

Remember the guy who dropped his wallet at the scent of the bank robbery?

Yeah, well he’s going to go to jail for awhile.

I never knew he had an overly ripe banana in his pocket though. I wonder if this changes him from, “dumbest bank robber ever” to “dumbest bank robber ever who still gets adequate potassium intake.”?

A Philadelphia man who stuffed a rotten banana in his pants to make it look as if he had a gun while robbing a Bethlehem bank pleaded guilty Tuesday and faces up to 20 years behind bars.

Lloyd Virgil Barclay, 52, admitted claiming he had a gun and threatening a clerk at KNBT bank on 920 W. Broad St. while stealing $800 on Sept. 2, 2009.

But Barclay didn’t make it hard for police to catch him. Lehigh County Senior Deputy District Attorney Tonya Tharp said Barclay left behind his wallet, which contained two ID cards and a Social Security card.

”Yeah, I dropped that,” Barclay told Judge Kelly L. Banach on Tuesday.

”Did you want to get caught?” Banach asked.

”No,” Barclay said with a laugh. ”I just dropped it.”

Banach is scheduled to sentence Barclay on the robbery charge next month.

Barclay was on state parole when he was arrested, so he faces additional time for violating his parole.

According to Tharp:

Barclay slipped a note to a bank teller around 9:15 a.m. demanding money from her drawer. The note said the teller would be ”hurt immediately” if she didn’t comply. After receiving $800, he said he wanted more and told another employee he had a gun. Barclay then fled, leaving his wallet at the bank.

Police matched the photo on his ID cards to the image of Barclay on a bank surveillance video and he was arrested two months later.

Barclay told investigators he kept a blackened banana in his pocket during the robbery to imply he had a gun.

Police say they also found the note in Barclay’s belongings that was given to the clerk demanding money. Source

Hey, at least he can laugh at himself. He’s also a self-effacing bank robber.

So there is an open mic tonight, I know, I know, shameless plugging. But, seriously, what else do you do on Wednesday nights? Just come and we can all be friends and I’ll sing some camping songs, ok?

Oh, Irony...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 09:46:47 -0500

So, a guy who was out and about delivering snow removal fliers, got himself stuck in the snow….

This is called irony…

When you’re delivering snow-removal fliers, the one thing you don’t want to do is wreck in the snow.

But that’s allegedly what happened last week to Joseph Arnold, 49, of the 1600 block of Rosalie Drive in Lower Saucon Township, township police report today.

Arnold’s vehicle slid off a driveway at 1519 Noahs Circle and became stuck on a boulder, causing damage to the property, police said. The vehicle had to be towed off the rock and Arnold was able to drive it away.

But that doesn’t mean he got away. He will be cited for soliciting door to door without a permit, police report. Source

Aww and they cited him? Poor Joe Arnold.

Who uses the word “boulder,” btw? Not that it’s an incorrect assessment, it very well could be a boulder. (googles “boulder”) : “a large smooth mass of rock detached from its place of origin.

Well, then, OK, poor Joe Arnold was out delivering snow removal fliers, got stuck on a boulder after sliding in the snow.

Poor Joe Arnold.

Everyone Hates/Loves/Hates the Casino (Also, Lehigh Opinion Columns Blow)

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 13:51:00 -0500

Remember that first super awesome debate on politics you had in college (or vo-tech school) and how you were like “wow, I feel like a substantial and worthy human being who is now totally seeing things for the way they are and how our government is really out to get us and we’re funding wars across the world and i could fight about this alllll day!”“

Yeah, that was soooo gay. College kids are such freaking conspiracy theorists!!!

Speaking of which, here is a recent editorial in Lehigh University’s ~~Toilet Pape~~r Brown & White (cmon it’s called the Brown and White, people):

Every student at Lehigh likely remembers the first time they drove into South Bethlehem and saw the abandoned Bethlehem Steel complex.

I do, I was like “HOLY FUCK there are some abandoned steel stacks!!!! No, I think I was like “HOLY FUCK, college is basically a four year co-ed slumber party!??! FTW!!

Many students also likely remember the first time they heard the property had been bought and would turn into a massive casino, hotel and convention center.

Ok, Opinion writer, we get it, Lehigh students PROBABLY remember the steel complex and the casino because they live fucking ten feet from them…

Who would’ve thought, after all the project’s difficulties that the property could be abandoned - like it was when Bethlehem Steel went bankrupt - so quickly after the casino opened and before the rest of the projects were even completed?

Actually, a lot of people thought that it either wouldn’t do well or shouldn’t be there, so I mean, TECHNICALLY, there are SOME people who would have thought this.. Do you have any other trite ways to start a paragraph?

If it seems like only yesterday when the casino first opened; it’s because it practically was. Memorial Day 2009 brought with it the promise of a new hotspot on the South Side, as well as the 1,000 jobs for local residents promised by Sands Bethlehem President Robert DeSalvio in an April 24, 2009 article in The Brown and White.

OH. MY. GOD. Every opinion writer likely remembers the first time they kept using hackneyed openings to paragraphs because it feels just like yesterday, who would have thought it?

Those jobs might be lost if and when Sands is sold. A recent article in The Express-Times reported the Las Vegas Sands Corporation is seeking to sell the Bethlehem casino.

Woah, hold the horse there, Tonto, where are you getting this information? From the Express-Times article that said it was an unverified rumor? So you’re basically just taking it as fact and running with? Ok. Just Checking.

If you feel like we’ve been played, that’s completely understandable. It’s like casino management bluffed us into believing they had a flush when they were really only holding a low pair. Their promises of a tourism boom and economic benefits to other South Side business ring hollow.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game. OH MAN you used “bluffed” and “a flush” in a fucking article about GAMBLING. FUCK. ME. IN THE JAW.

Now, we’ll just have to wait and see how much of the pot they’ll walk away with.

Editor’s Note: The Sands Casino Resort recently issued a press release stating that “recent rumors of the company’s supposed interest in selling its Sands Casino Resort Bethlehem property, or indefinitely delaying the completion of the hotel and other components of the development, are unfounded” and that the company will assess restarting construction on the rest of the development while it prepares for table games and resumption of hotel construction. Source

OH SNAP!

Ok, in hindsight, I can’t write well and don’t even know what a paragraph is, so keep on keeping on journalism students, being that you’re going to have to get a job blowing homeless people since there are no more newspapers left.

Ok, that is all.

Lemon Girl Scout Cookies NOT Contaminated!!!

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 13:26:19 -0500

Apparently some varieties of Girl Scout Cookies were a bit.. unfresh… and had to be taken off the shelves, but NOT THE AWFUL LEMON ones!!!

WHO even eats this flavor? It’s easily the worst flavor by far. Ugh. It’s like eating a cracker topped with toothpaste.

Girl Scout Cookies of Eastern Pennsylvania announced that lemon cookies sold in eastern Pennsylvania and central and southern New Jersey are not part of the batch that’s come under recent scrutiny.

Customers have complained thatLemon Chalet Cremes, manufactured by Little Brownie Bakers, come with an off-taste or strange smell. They have been voluntarily withdrawn from sale by the company.

Barbara Bankert, director of product program for GSEP, said in a news release that Girl Scouts of the USA can choose to sell cookies from either one or two commercial bakeries, ABC Bakers or Little Brownie Bakers. The cookies are similar, but sold under different names.

The Girl Scouts of Eastern Pennsylvania, which includes troops in Berks, Bucks, Carbon, Chester, Delaware, Lehigh, Montgomery and Northampton counties, as well as Philadelphia and central and southern New Jersey, purchase Lemonades cookies from ABC Bakers. Source

I guess those other versions suck too.

OH man this is like food pornography: GIRL SCOUT COOKIES LIST

Caramel DELIGHTS…? Don’t mind if I do.

Does anyone know any Girl Scouts who can stop by and sell me some of these, it just seems so cheap buying them online…

Holy Road RagePALOOZA!!!

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 13:19:17 -0500

So, I did a little road trip this weekend and I find it fascinating the way people drive, deal with other drivers and generally act on the road. You see many people just going about their business, driving along the highway in their stupid SUVs and not really making much of a fuss.

But, then there are those people who speed up when you try to pass them because they are going too slowly. Or those people who tailgate you relentlessly until you let them pass. Or those people who chase you into the woods and then break all of your windows with a hammer…

A Bethlehem road rage incident ended early Sunday morning when a man wielding a hammer smashed out every window of a car, police said.

Police said a Bethlehem man was driving in the 2400 block of East Boulevard about 2 a.m. when he was cut off at a red light by a man driving a red Audi.

The drivers began exchanging comments and the driver of the Audi began to follow the victim, police said.

The victim and his passenger drove onto a dead-end street and ran into the woods to hide from the driver of the Audi, police said.

The Audi driver, wielding a hammer, smashed out every window of the victim’s car, police said. The man is described as white with a scruffy beard and about 5 feet 7 inches tall.

Police ask anyone with information to call the tip line at 610-691-6660. Source

Phew that description is way too close to myself.. I do not drive an Audi, however, I drive a Vespa.

Now, onto the more pressing issue. WHERE THE FUCK DO WE LIVE THAT THIS IS EVEN A CONCERN? Did the guy who was doing the chasing see who these people were? I mean, what if it was two grannies coming back from the Sands at night, would he have still done this? Fucking shit man, let it slide. Let. it. Slide.

Vote For This For-Rizzle Bethlehem Skate Park

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 11:55:00 -0500

This will take you all of three seconds and can possible change the future for some kids who otherwise have nothing else to do than huff stuff… so, seriously…

Click this link, it will take you to a page with information on the Bethlehem Skate Park’s attempt to get a $250 K grant from PepsiCo…

Vote NOW and the world will be a better place. Because young girls can dress like this more often.

Cyber Schools Might have Problems? (Nooo WAY)

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:31:00 -0500

So, I watched “Accepted” on tv yesterday and forgot how pretty great and underrated that movie is. If you haven’t seen it; the guy from the Apple ads can’t get into a college so he makes his own then other people come and they end up getting accredited because they are teaching each other the best way they know how, or something.

And, even though it’s a comedy that really pushes any sort of realism, it does have something to say about colleges in general (such as taking bullshit courses, not being able to follow your deams, settling for a good job and a family and “responsibilities” over other things.)

Wow, come to think of it, this was the theme of the last four days of my life I think. I’m totally turning a corner…

Anyway, Cyber schools (no, not where they teach you to sext) popped up in the early 2000s and are basically Phoenix Universities for high school kids. So, yeah, they are going to be rife with problems.

Dennis Tulli, formerly a superintendent in the Lebanon School District, was critical of cyber schools in 2001 when he was among the nearly 100 officials who claimed the Einstein Academy cyber charter school billed for students it didn’t teach.

Instead of souring on the concept, however, Tulli eventually helmed theCommonwealth Connections Academy to a state cyber charter.

“I did it because I was dissatisfied with cyber schools,” said Tulli, who is now CEO of Commonwealth Connections. “I thought, ‘You know, if we’re going to have another cyber school, I want it done right.’”

Still, opponents to cyber schools believe that abuses are rampant and the institutions are not governed by the same set of rules as public schools.

“The problem is it’s unregulated,” State Rep. Karen Beyer, R-Lehigh, said. “We don’t know where the money is, who has it, where’s it being spent. … Without a doubt, there are abuses.”

Read Douglas B. Brill’s complete report: Cyber school advocates say they’re as accountable as public schools. Source

What do you expect? Besides the fact that they only parents who want to home school their kids are the crazy ex hippie types who are just doing so as a way to give the middle finger to society while depriving their children of a few years of being picked on, the kids are at home on computers, of course they are going to fuck around.

Whoever thought this would be a good, smooth idea probably also thought that if you stick a priest in a Kindergarten class no one is going to play hide the Jesus. I’m not saying, I’m just sayin.