UGH FINE Clown Robber

I wasn’t going to write about this because it’s so ridiculous that… I would have nothing funny to post.

Ok, here is a complaint of mine. Do you notice how they have the TV show “Cops” in all these crappy towns but they never tape it in Allentown?

LIKE SERIOUSLY? We have this crap…

A 43-year-old Bethlehem Township woman told police she was forced Friday by an unknown man to rob a bank near her home, using a fake bomb fashioned from a can of soup and bags of rice to threaten tellers, according to court records released Monday.

Carolyn Anne Williams (not her facebook profile) wore a clown suit, red nose, gloves and scarf around her lower face when she robbed the KNBT bank, according to court documents. Williams showed the teller a yellow gift bag that she said contained a bomb and also said her two children would be killed if she didn’t bring back enough cash, the records state.

Whatever, just have new kids, that clown suit is TOTALLY 2007.

When a teller emptied her drawer of cash into the bag and slid it across the counter, Williams said it wasn’t enough and two other tellers also filled the bag with bills, police said.

She didn’t fill her shoes? (insert sad trombone sound)

Williams, of 4321 Embur Terrace, remains in Northampton County Prison under $500,000 bail. Police said more than $7,100 was stolen during the robbery and the money was found inside Williams’ car when she was arrested in a nearby township municipal complex.

According to court records:

Inside Williams’ car, police said they also found a cardboard box that contained a bag of soup with the label removed and two bags of rice. Police said the device was fashioned to look like an explosive device. Police said the car also contained a clown suit, clown wig, clown shoes, multicolored leggings, oversized clown sunglasses and two loaded handguns.

Her car also contained a mannequin dressed up like Osama Bin Laden and one of those eyeglasses with the nose and fake mustache on it.

This lady is the stupidest person I have ever seen on a computer.

Williams also used a magnetic cover on her license plate to avoid detection as she fled the bank.

Williams told police her younger son was in day care and her older son was on a flight from California to New York. Police later determined both children were unharmed. Source

If this lady wasn’t on meth, I’m going to be seriously disappointed.

In other news, the fucking Hamburglar got away again. Just sayin.