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Noogies Aren’t Good Enough Anymore?

My brother is ten years older than me, which meant that I was frequently subject to all sorts of terror. Hmm, off the top of my head:

  • Placed in a Superman sleeping bag, which was zipped entirely closed, then I was thrown over the railing and onto a couch below. Sometimes I hit hard, bounced, and smacked the floor.
  • Was routinely told to “shut my eyes” and hold my hands out, palms facing each other. At this time, my brother placed a cactus between them and told me to clap. I did
  • Was placed in a suitcase, put in a closet and forgotten about for… a good fucking two hours. Luckily, I fell asleep.

Yeah, so I can understand how sibling angst can kind of get to a heated pitch. And while I was subject to a few less-than-friendly episodes, I wasn’t ever…fucking STABBED.

A Bethlehem man is in jail today for allegedly stabbing his brother six times in the stomach, back and upper shoulder during a fight early yesterday in Palmer Township, according to police and court records.

Stephen Wasilauski, 23, of 718 Wyandotte St., Bethlehem, is charged with assaulting and attempting to kill his 25-year-old brother, Matthew Wasilauski, according to court records.

The alleged assault happened in Matthew Wasilauski’s house in the 100 block of Orchard Drive in Palmer Township about 1:15 a.m., according to court records filed at District Justice Todd M. Strohe’s office in

Palmer Township Police Department charged Stephen Wasilauski with attempted homicide, aggravated assault, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person, harassment, terroristic threats and a weapons offense.

According to court documents:

Stephen Wasilauski told police his older brother was nagging him about a previous incident involving a gun, and he warned his brother he would stab him if he did not stop. Stephen Wasilauski said his brother persisted in nagging him and also punched him in the face and put him in a headlock. That’s when Stephen Wasilauski said he stabbed his brother with the three-inch blade of a folding knife.

Ha, so, he was making fun of his brother for a “previous incident involving a gun.” Come ON, dig a little deeper, I hate to speculate. Did he accidentally shoot off a testicle? What? WHAAAT?