“Hello weekend, how are you?”
“Um, awesome, per usual.”
I can’t wait for it to be 5 p.m. so I can go home and cook some shrimp creole and then do nothing all weekend.
In the meantime, let’s make fun of people on Craigslist.
For past versions, hit this link. I swear I’ll organize them sometime.
Lesbians first! (Bonus trivia. Did you know the word “lesbian” was taken from the Greek island of Lesbos and that lesbians go there to vacation and all the island natives are like “no you diddddn’t”? Well, now you do.)
Date: 2011-06-12, 11:53PM EDT
You were wearing white skinny pants and a belted top with fabulous beige pumps. I was the pale, tattooed woman in the pink maxi dress.
I may be more Maddens than Manolos, but that girl you were with was Walmart flip-flops. It’s time to trade up.
- Location: Easton, PA
I had to Google “maxi dress” and I guess it could be hot, depending on what you were wearing underneath it.
OHHHH a Walmart flip flop diss! It’s ON.
This next lady wants to get it on with the guy at the Easton High School track. Let’s help her out.
Date: 2011-06-04, 12:10AM EDT
Hey you run at the soccer field in the back of Easton Area High School every night around 7/8 and drive a yellow truck. I walk my dog through there around then and see you but don’t want to interrupt your workout lol. You look great and I’d love to talk to you! :D
- Location: Easton PA
You heard the lady, he’s there every night around 7 or 8. Get over there and do this!
Gay guys work at Bed, Bath and Beyond? No way!
Date: 2011-06-22, 6:45AM EDT
Hey. You were working the very busy register Friday afternoon. U looked good in the cream V-neck. You waited on me. I’m tall, athletic, late 20s, and good looking. Hit me up.
- Location: Whitehall
He’s also not humble. But, seriously, who can resist a nice cream V-nick. Amiright?
And, for the Missed Connection of the Week, the guy who shouldn’t date at work.
Date: 2011-06-21, 5:48PM EDT
Your name is Kristen you are tall blond and amazing looking. You are aweet and have wonderfull smile. I walk past you desk every afternoon and say hello you smile and say hello back. Then when you leave to punch the clock you walk by my desk and say hello again. I want so bad to spark up a conversation with you, but i am not sure if you feel the same way. If you can tell me what building we work in I will tell you who I am. I no this is a long shot but I cant help how I am starting to fel about you. Your initails are KC. If that helps any.
- Location: Allentown
I am pretty sure that you’re not going to get a date with a professional woman by posting on Craglist anonymously.
OHH! I have a sweet idea. ASK HER out you dipshit. But, really, don’t. Never date anyone you work with. It always ends badly and then you have to go to work Christmas parties and see each other and get really drunk and it’s just not what you want.
My advice is to head over to the Giant Supermarket in Palmer Township. People seem to hook up there all the time.
Also, be sure to check out Associated Mess’ The Best of Craigslist to be held at the Artsquest Center on July 3!