Thanksgiving Eve is called “The Biggest Party Day of the Year” by people who party. And while I’ve never seen any concrete data on this fact, it’s safe to say that if it isn’t the biggest party day of the year, it’s in the top three.
The other two being the first day all of the teachers get out of school for their yearly three month vacation and Musikfest’s first Friday night.
But, are you too old to be out at the bars on Thanksgiving Eve?
Let’s take a look
0-20 years old - You should only be at the bar if you have a quality fake or live in one of those backwoods towns where people don’t really care how old you are at the bar during the holidays. Those are the best bars.
21-23 years old - Of course you’re not too old to be at the bar. This is the PRIME time to be at the bar. You’re home from college and you get to judge all the other kids who are home from college and talk about how much they have changed.
And all the kids who still live in your hometown who didn’t go to college are going to give you dirty looks.
Also, this is the perfect time to make out with that girl in high school who you always thought was kinda hot, but she was in a different social circle than you and if you made out with her then you would have caught a lot of slack. None of that matters anymore! Bang away!
24-28 years old - You’re still the right age to be hitting up the bar, it’s just gotten a little weirder.
See, you’re not coming home from college anymore unless you’re in grad school or something and no one wants to hear about that bullshit. So, you’re looking at all these college kids and you hate them. It’s so ironic because only a few years ago, THIS was YOU and now you hate what you USED to be.
You’re growing up but you’re still going to do 15 shots and maybe make grandma a little mad.
29-34 years old - This is when the line begins to blur. In this category, you’ll need to come up with a few more excuses to head to the bar. You’ll probably even bring your father-in-law with you because, why the hell not?
You’ll hate the college kids so much at this point that you may avoid certain bars on purpose just so you don’t have to deal with them.
You’ll probably be home around 11 p.m. because there may be a few things you need to do before Thanksgiving dinner.
35-40 years old - Too old? Not necessarily. At this age, you going out to the bar is more of a parody of going to the bar. You’re going to the bar because it’ll be funny. You’re going because you know that there will be a lot of college kids out and it’ll be funny because you, too, used to be a college student.
You’ll go to bars with college students on purpose because it’s ironic to hang out with them and do shots with them.
Your wife hates you.
41+ years old - This whole thing was a trick question, you’re never too old to go to the bar on Thanksgiving Eve. However, if you’re over the age of 40-years-old you may actually be going out with old friends and listening to some smooth jazz while you sip martinis.
You’re so old that it’s not even ironic that you’re at a bar with college kids anymore. It’s just weird and creepy.
Ok, so that’s that. Everyone is the right age to head to the bar Thanksgiving Eve, they just do it in different ways.