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Stabbed Man Has Crack Tied to His Penis

So, this happened.

I guess if you’re hiding and/or transporting crack, it’s just good practice to keep it in a safe place. A man’s penis is usually a safe place… Depending on his location, time of year and time of day.

But, if your stabbed and they are like. “We need to treat your wound!” and you’re like, “Don’t check my wiener!” they may get suspicious.

A man is facing felony drug charges after he was stabbed in Allentown and officials discovered drugs tied to his body, according to police.

Assistant Chief Joe Hanna said the stabbing occurred around 3:30am Saturday in the 300 block of Ridge Avenue.

Police said Leevon Jermaine Riddick, 25, was stabbed. Officials said Riddick was not very cooperative with police during the investigation.

As the medical staff was treating Riddick, they discovered a baggie filled with an off-white rock like substance later determined to be crack cocaine tied to his genitals, police said. SOURCE: WFMZ.com

“Off-white.”

It’s like they are describing someone’s new living room paint job. “It’s a very nice mauvish.”

If “mauvish” isn’t a word, it is now.

Moral of story? Don’t tie drugs to your balls and get stabbed at 3:30 in the morning.

The more you know.