Everyone Hates/Loves/Hates the Casino (Also, Lehigh Opinion Columns Blow)

Remember that first super awesome debate on politics you had in college (or vo-tech school) and how you were like “wow, I feel like a substantial and worthy human being who is now totally seeing things for the way they are and how our government is really out to get us and we’re funding wars across the world and i could fight about this alllll day!”“

Yeah, that was soooo gay. College kids are such freaking conspiracy theorists!!!

Speaking of which, here is a recent editorial in Lehigh University’s Toilet Paper Brown & White (cmon it’s called the Brown and White, people):

Every student at Lehigh likely remembers the first time they drove into South Bethlehem and saw the abandoned Bethlehem Steel complex.

I do, I was like “HOLY FUCK there are some abandoned steel stacks!!!! No, I think I was like “HOLY FUCK, college is basically a four year co-ed slumber party!??! FTW!!

Many students also likely remember the first time they heard the property had been bought and would turn into a massive casino, hotel and convention center.

Ok, Opinion writer, we get it, Lehigh students PROBABLY remember the steel complex and the casino because they live fucking ten feet from them…

Who would’ve thought, after all the project’s difficulties that the property could be abandoned - like it was when Bethlehem Steel went bankrupt - so quickly after the casino opened and before the rest of the projects were even completed?

Actually, a lot of people thought that it either wouldn’t do well or shouldn’t be there, so I mean, TECHNICALLY, there are SOME people who would have thought this.. Do you have any other trite ways to start a paragraph?

If it seems like only yesterday when the casino first opened; it’s because it practically was. Memorial Day 2009 brought with it the promise of a new hotspot on the South Side, as well as the 1,000 jobs for local residents promised by Sands Bethlehem President Robert DeSalvio in an April 24, 2009 article in The Brown and White.

OH. MY. GOD. Every opinion writer likely remembers the first time they kept using hackneyed openings to paragraphs because it feels just like yesterday, who would have thought it?

Those jobs might be lost if and when Sands is sold. A recent article in The Express-Times reported the Las Vegas Sands Corporation is seeking to sell the Bethlehem casino.

Woah, hold the horse there, Tonto, where are you getting this information? From the Express-Times article that said it was an unverified rumor? So you’re basically just taking it as fact and running with? Ok. Just Checking.

If you feel like we’ve been played, that’s completely understandable. It’s like casino management bluffed us into believing they had a flush when they were really only holding a low pair. Their promises of a tourism boom and economic benefits to other South Side business ring hollow.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game. OH MAN you used “bluffed” and “a flush” in a fucking article about GAMBLING. FUCK. ME. IN THE JAW.

Now, we’ll just have to wait and see how much of the pot they’ll walk away with.

Editor’s Note: The Sands Casino Resort recently issued a press release stating that “recent rumors of the company’s supposed interest in selling its Sands Casino Resort Bethlehem property, or indefinitely delaying the completion of the hotel and other components of the development, are unfounded” and that the company will assess restarting construction on the rest of the development while it prepares for table games and resumption of hotel construction. Source

OH SNAP!

Ok, in hindsight, I can’t write well and don’t even know what a paragraph is, so keep on keeping on journalism students, being that you’re going to have to get a job blowing homeless people since there are no more newspapers left.

Ok, that is all.