Phillipsburg Police to Crackdown on Menacing Jaywalkers

Crossing guards are drunk with power.

I see you, crossing guard. You see me, crossing guard. You see that I’m in a rush to get to work. I woke up late. I need to move. But, your steely glare resonates in my soul as you, with your left hand, raise that stop sign on a Popsicle stick and, with your white gloved outstretched right palm, tell me I cannot move my car even though the light is green.

The children move so slowly. The other cars are confused as to who has the right of way after you mosey on back to the sidewalk in your reflective vest glory only to snicker below your ear flapped snow hat as you, again, allow traffic to flow.

But only when you see fit.

Jaywalkers be warned: Phillipsburg police are cracking down on rule-breaking pedestrians, specifically students.

Officers visited the high school and middle school today to warn students about walking across town streets where there aren’t legal crosswalks. Police have received several complaints about students in the road, including on Route 22, Chief James Faulborn said.   

“It’s been an ongoing problem,” Faulborn said this afternoon. “Today we’re doing warnings. Tomorrow, no warnings.”  SOURCE: The Express-Times

Crossing Route 22 (even the New Jersey section that has stop lights and such) isn’t ever a really great idea. So, remember, the cops are doing this for your own good.

Besides, where are you in such a rush to get to, kid? Back home to play your Xboxes or to have premarital sex?!?!?! Enjoy the beauty of a long walk home. You’re going to be old and dead before you know it.