Some quick New Year’s Notes! Joe’s Tavern has super awesome karaoke tonight in Bethlehem! Molly’s Irish Grille in Bethlehem and Blue Monkey Sports Bar & Restaurant in Catasauqua are ringing in 2013 in style.
Be sure to check out Blue Monkey’s New Year’s Eve event page for more information!
Don’t celebrate the beginning of 2013 by dying. Please don’t drink and drive, idiots.
NOW, onto our last Lehigh Valley Missed Connections of 2012! This one features the beard lovers. As a beard grower, myself, I can say that I feel the days of hipster, kitschy beards are coming to a close. We get it, you can grow a super long beard that makes you look homeless. That’s awesome.
What’s more awesome is having a beard that is tightly coiffed and non splotchy. A true mandiblescape of quality cleanliness and refinement that will get all those missed connectioners pining for your affection…
Date:2012-12-23, 11:46PM EST
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Your adorable,you work at marshals and were putting stuff back on the shelves,I asked where the bathroom for my child… I love your beard and Ur style :) hope you see this and hope your single :))
Nothing like picking up the stock boy while your kiddo drops a deuce.
Date: 2012-12-24, 5:43PM EST
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You came into the store with your wife and child. I commented on your beard and how I wanted my boyfriend to grow one.
If your wife isn’t giving you what you need, maybe I can. I’m younger and you’re older. I was standing by the register thinking very naughty thoughts.
Tell me what store you were at so I know it’s you.
The old “non-cool” was going bald before 30. But, now guys have a variety of ways they can offset that, namely, shave your head. Seriously, just shave it. You lost. Bald heads can be awesome. The new “non-cool” is not being able to grow a beard. So, all that leftover hair-grow cream should be applied to your face.
Date:2012-12-23, 6:49AM EST
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we made eye contact then went to the gh booths. we sucked each other for awhile then you wanted to do more and moved to the larger booth in the back. you bearded and handsome me also bearded. sorry i am so tight only have done that a couple of times but thanks for hanging in there and giving me that very nice cock. tell me your body type and chest apperance so i know its you. please let me know when you go again just have you in my mind and pleasured myself again. wow
Boom. See? Even dudes who like dudes and creep around scary places love beards. Just don’t get stuff stuck in it. Always check a mirror before leaving one of those booths. Just sayin.
And, our last Missed Connection of 2012 goes to a guy who is either trying really really hard, or is just trying to make up for his lack of being able to grow a quality beard.
Date: 2012-12-26, 7:26PM ESTReply to this post firstname.lastname@example.org
i declined your offer for knitting lessons
i cannot trust yarn anymore
it is too friendly and soft
i feel like it is falling apart just because i am touching it
i tried knitting before
i felt like each row of loops was the next set of problems in my life
i needed the yarn to get through those problems
but i kept missing loops
and ended up with a fucked up washcloth
right now i am working up the courage to throw that/this away
i tried taking a knitting class before
i felt like it was necessary to start a social commitment or something
i felt afraid of strangers so i asked a girl to come with me
but she could only go to the first class
so i ended up just eavesdropping on the class discussion
they talked about sending nudes to boyfriends
i imagined what receiving a nude from a girlfriend would be like
i had already lost interest in knitting
when you offered to give me lessons instead
There you have it, folks. If the stomach is the way to a man’s heart, perhaps yarn is the way to a woman’s.