(Insert your favorite end of the world Mayan joke here.)
Tonight! It’s an End of the World, Ugly Christmas Sweater, Karaoke Party at Joe’s Tavern starting at 8 p.m.
I’m not sure if it’s ironically funny to sing songs such as “It’s the End of the World as We Know It” or “Armageddon It” or if the joke will be totally overplayed by then.
I’ll guess we’ll have to see. Either I’ll do those songs or go to my regular renditions of Hootie and the Blowfish and Faith No More.
Seriously, though, if there is a fun party you want to be at tonight, it’s at Joe’s. We’ll see you early since we’ll be starting well before 8!
And now, onto the last Missed Connections you may ever read.
Date:2012-12-19, 10:18AM EST
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I know I’m being more sentimental since it’s the holidays. But I really miss you… I know you have moved on. Twice over and that we can never be together again. It kills me. I told you almost a year ago to leave me alone. Since I am too weak to say no to you. You have done what I asked. I know time heals all wounds… Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. How can I not? I live in our house. Yes technically it’s mine but it was ours… We were never married but I was still your wife. 8 yrs but 10 total. You were my family. I know you don’t feel that way towards me anymore. And at this point I should have moved on. But I haven’t. All I can say is that I’m sorry. I took for granted that we would always be together. I’m still the mess I have always been… You were my savior. But I never treated you that way. And I’m so sorry for that. I will always love you Crazy. You were my life… Even tho you never believe it and I didn’t show you the way you wanted or needed. I just wanted you to know… If you do happen to see this. That it wasn’t a lie, that I really truly loved you and still do to this day.
Oh. My. God. The end of the world is nigh and you are going to be all passive aggressive? Even awkward teenage Mayans knew that they had to tell their Mayan crushes that they liked them. They never knew when a sacrifice was acomin’.
Date:2012-12-19, 9:35PM EST
Reply to this post firstname.lastname@example.org
I told you all the gory details of my life during a dark time over 2 years ago. We were friends. I mistook your genuine nice guy-ness as you being into me. You weren’t. I made a total ass of myself. I thought of you the other day. It was something funny you posted on my Facebook before you blocked me. I went back through to read it (all the way back to 2010 on the fb- yikes!), and discovered that you had unblocked me. I just about shit my pants. I know it’s probably because we haven’t talked in so long, and you figured I wasn’t going to bother you anymore. I won’t, but part of my wishes that you did it because you we’re thinking of me, and felt the need to creep on what little of my profile is public.
Anyway. Write me if you’re curious. My life is still a shit storm. Very interesting stuff!
Hope you’re doing well. Seriously.
For serious? Cmon ladies. “Shit storm” is no way to tell someone your life is going if they are somehow going to possibly want to come back into it. At least your honest is appreciated.
Date:2012-12-19, 3:21PM EST
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I fallowed you in the store at eleven thirty am. You were wearing a blue sweatsuit. We made eye contact a few times I was wearing a red and black flannel hooded coat and faded jeans. I would like to meet you if interested your my kind of man. You bought a lap top tell me what kind in your reply so I know it is you.
Phew, now that’s a missed connection I can sink my teeth into. A fat guy in a blue sweatsuit is my kinda party.
Um. Any answer less than two is a problem?
Date:2012-12-07, 10:48PM EST
Reply to this post firstname.lastname@example.org
You came into my work looking for something and I had almost used it all. Thankfully, you got what you wanted.
I happened to be sitting at the counter, eating my food while on my break.
You mentioned the 70’s and I had said I wasn’t around for that era.
You had asked me how old I was and I answered, 21.
If you were interested, I like older men. Let me know what shop you were visiting and what you bought. :]
Happy end of the world.
Read previous Lehigh Valley Missed Connections.