Drunken Houdini Escapes Handcuffs, Promptly Re-Arrested

My brother used to put me in a Superman sleeping bag, zip it the entire way closed, and then throw me over the stair railing onto a couch.

And, one time my brother and sister put me in a suitcase and closed it and left me in a closet for like… a whole afternoon.

I’m really bad at escaping anything.

A 22-year-old Nazareth man facing a drunken-driving charge tried to escape from the processing center by slamming his handcuffs against the bench until they unlocked, according to Bethlehem police.

Jeffrey Barlow, of the 100 block of West Allen Street, was arrested early Tuesday morning on suspicion of drunken driving. Police say Barlow was driving without his headlights on and failed to use a turn signal at 2:07 a.m. on East Broad Street.

While police were processing Barlow at the Bethlehem police station, authorities say he began banging his double-locked handcuffs against the bench where he was secured. Eventually, police say, Barlow’s cuffs gave way and he began walking away from the bench.

An alert officer caught sight of Barlow, police say, and managed to get him back into custody before he left the station.

Barlow faces charges of drunken driving, escape, criminal mischief and traffic-related offenses, police report. SOURCE: The Express-Times

Whenever I see some character on TV shoot their handcuffs off, I’m like, “That can’t be a good idea.” You’re basically shooting metal at metal like an inch away from your crotch.

No thanks. I’d rather stay handcuffed.