Man Steals Women’s Razors and .. a Pear? (Also, Nic Cage Sucks)

So, I hate Nic Cage. Honestly, I think he is the worst actor to ever become famous. He’s just awful. I can’t watch Ghost Rider without once getting up and going to the bathroom to puke. Then I go back in and am compelled to stab my eyeballs with sharpened chop sticks.

I don’t get it. Isn’t America kinda based on how good you are? HE’S AWFUL!!! Channing Tatum could out act this buffoon, yet he continues to show up in movie after movie… what . the. fuck.

Despite all of his faults (NEXT, CON AIR, FACE/OFF, GHOST RIDER, etc. ad nauseam,) he did have ONE good line ever…

“I could eat a peach for hours”

Apparently, so could this guy…

A Bethlehem Township man allegedly had heroin on him after he was stopped for trying to steal women’s razors and a pear Friday afternoon from Ahart’s Market. Michael Wodyka, (Could be his Facebook Page) 22, of Regal Road, was charged with theft and drug possession. Source

So, yeah. I have no idea what you’d want to do with both of those items unless:

1. You are obviously mentally ill.
2. You’re really drunk.
3. You plan on shaving a peach then eating it.
4. You have watched too many Nic Cage movies.