How Local High School Star Athletes College Careers Pan Out…

I know that the sports world loves to focus on where the high school football athletes are headed, but what about everyone else? What about that awesome field hockey player??? Where is SHE going to spend the next four years and never be written about? Well, I’ll let you know, with a prediction of how their career will go.

LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL:

• Anthony Gonzalez, University of Pittsburgh (football) (Plays pretty OK, but he’s so far away, I mean that’s a five hour drive!, none of the local writers remember to keep track of him.)

NORTHWESTERN HIGH SCHOOL:

• Lindsay Kerr, Wake Forest University (cross country and track) (Does really well and maybe wins a thing or two. Never returns to the Lehigh Valley after discovering the Carolinas have beaches.)

PALISADES HIGH SCHOOL:

• Samantha Dunn, Gettysburg (soccer) (Hits self in forehead once she realizes she went to Gettysburg. Learns a TON about ghosts. And everything else in Gettysburg. Drinks a shitload to try and forget it all. Ends up with a nice degree and moves back to LV.)

• Jamie Koenig, Kutztown (field hockey) (Hopefully does NOT get an STD. Enters undecided and ends up Getting an education degree and teaching at Whitehall High School)

• Danton (Alastair) Ponzol, Lafayette (football) (Gets really pumped up to play Lehigh. Hates Lehigh. Calls you a “Faggot” if you go to Lehigh.)

PARKLAND HIGH SCHOOL:

• Andre Williams, Boston College (football) (Ends up really hating Notre Dame for no reason, again, forgotten about. Who goes up to Boston?)

WHITEHALL HIGH SCHOOL:

• Pat Bet, Penn (baseball) (Gets nicknamed “Pat the Bat”)

• Taray Carey, Temple (football) (Gets nicknamed “Harry Carey”)

• Brooke Hamscher, Penn (track/pole vault) (Guys end up taking tons of pictures of her while pole vaulting, ends up all over the Internet. Uses that fame to start a Website that may or may not be pole related.)

• Elizabeth Millen, Temple (field hockey) (Quickly remembers where Temple is located. Immediately transfers.)

WILSON HIGH SCHOOL:

• Tyler Smith, University of Maryland (football) (Wilson? HOLY SHIT! He got INTO a COLLEGE?) Source

Good luck in your future endeavors kids!