Man Breaks Into Home, Cooks Steak, Drinks Vodka, Leaves

I am generally happy with the late night food options in Lehigh Valley, the diner selection is quality and there are more than enough fast food places that are open 24 hours.

My only gripe is that there isn’t a downtown diner open late in Bethlehem. That diner in Allentown on ninth street has been a savior more than a few drunken evenings. Maybe there isn’t a demand for it, but whatevs. At least we have Easy Weenies on the southside.

Easy Weenies, ha.

Steven Johnson had everything in place for a late-night surf and turf snack and a nightcap early Thursday morning, police said: steak cooling on the stove, clams and shrimp in the refrigerator and bottles of coconut rum and vanilla vodka chilling in the freezer.

The 24-year-old does not live at the 339 William St. home, but his snacking did not seem to bother the couple fast asleep on the living room couch.

So, on his way out, Mr. Johnson allegedly made himself a to-go bag.

Just as Mr. Johnson walked out of the kitchen, the man on the couch, Phillip Schwartz, woke up and watched him head out the door, then called police, according to city police Officer Melissa Forsette.

Officers soon had Mr. Johnson - who appeared intoxicated - in custody at William Street and Rockwell Avenue. Mr. Schwartz identified him as the man he saw.

A look through the bags Mr. Johnson, of Scranton, had on him offered a glimpse of his menu at the William Street home: a bushel of clams, some crab legs, shrimp - most of which was already eaten - and an opened box of Reese’s Klondike bars.

Um, do the Scwartzes know how to grocery shop or what? That is some selection.

The rum bottle was found on the front lawn of the Williams Street home, but the bottle of Three Olives vanilla vodka was in another bag Mr. Johnson carried, according to the complaint.

The food, alcohol and pack of Camel cigarettes in Mr. Johnson’s pocket accounted for all of the items missing Mr. Schwartz’s home.

Mr. Johnson also had a bag containing two power drills, a nail gun and screws on him that did not come from Mr. Schwartz’s home, according to the complaint.

Police charged Mr. Johnson with one count each of burglary, criminal trespass and public drunkenness. SOURCE: The Scranton Times-Tribune

You know, I’d be more inclined to let this guy’s break in go of he made food for me before he left. I mean, buying bushels of shrimp (that’s what they are called?) is one thing, but making them is another.

Also, what wouldn’t this guy do for a Klondike bar?