Man Tries to Smother Girlfriend With Pillow in Hotel, She Runs Naked Through Hallway (FACEBOOK PROFILE)

Tickle fights are completely unfair. Dudes can be attacked by chicks and tickled to an inch of peeing themselves. However, if said dude starts to tickle back and/or was to initiate said tickle fight, all hell breaks loose.

“Wahhh, you’re bigger than me, you can’t tickle me. It’s unfair.” 

BS. I say. B…S….

All tickle fights should be free of strength restriction. If you start one, expect to be attacked when you least expect it. 

Take no prisoners.

A man allegedly tried to smother his girlfriend with a pillow during a domestic dispute early Monday at the Hotel Lafayette in Easton, police said.

Dirk Anthony Helbig, 44, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) is charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, reckless endangerment and harassment. He’s in Northampton County Prison under $25,000 bail.

According to court records:

Around 2:20 a.m., police were called to a dispute at the Hotel Lafayette at 11 N. Fourth St.

Michelle Lawshe said Helbig, her boyfriend, had accused her of cheating. She said Helbig bit her and put a pillow over her face and attempted to smother her.

Lawshe was able to break away and was forced to run in the lobby naked, screaming for help, police said.SOURCE: The Morning Call

Also, girls are squirmy. If you are going to properly tickle them to the point where they agree to make sandwiches for you every morning for a week, you must successfully immobilize their arms. 

Then, BOOM. You win. I’m the king of tickle fights.

I’m kinda ok at pillow fights.