Forks Township Officer Fakes Terminal Cancer, Yellow Fever, Resigns

There are some things that are okay to fake.

They include interest in whatever some really drunk guy is talking about at the bar, joy when you get a crappy present from your parents on Christmas, and an orgasm when you’re super tired.

Cancer is not something that’s okay to fake.

Neither is Yellow Fever. (WHO FAKES YELLOW FEVER?)

When Forks Township police officer William Mills announced he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, his colleagues were visibly shaken.

Mills, who had been taking sick days frequently, was placed on leave with pay. A month later, Mills’ brother contacted the department to break the news about the six-year member of their force.

Mills had checked into an alcohol rehab center.

The turn of events was part of a series of alleged lies Mills told his superiors, leading to his firing in July. Mills, who was scheduled for a hearing before the township board of supervisors Wednesday night, has dropped his appeal and resigned.

Attorney Donald Russo said he was prepared to defend Mills against the township’s allegations that the officer fell asleep on the job, faked cancer and yellow fever, and lied about his grandmother’s death. But Mills, 34, of Upper Nazareth Township, decided to resign. SOURCE: The Morning Call

His grandmother’s death!?? Wow, this guy’s a treat.

It’s common knowledge that you can fake being sick probably about twice a year to get out of work. I mean, that’s just the going rate. I’m not saying that you should do this, but, cmon.

The only problem with that is, if you do fake being sick to not go to work, the karma police are going to make sure you actually get super sick sometime later in the year and you have to go into work and everyone is going to hate you because you’re also going to get them sick.

So, yeah, there’s that.

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