Remember when they had Stacker II and you could actually buy that stuff at the drug store? Sure, it was no bath salts, but, a few kids died from it and it basically made you a jittery wreck due to all the ephedrine.
Once the ephedrine was outlawed, all these crazy energy drinks started popping up and most of them are still around. Some are decent, like Red Bull or Amp, but some are just downright caffeine distributors with awful taste and really bad clothing tie-ins (See: Monster Energy Drink)
Energy drinks are that tiny bit of rebellion you can have while you play marathon sessions of Halo and eat Cheetohs. I mean, you need FUEL, bro. Or bronerd. Wait, are there “bros” who are also “nerds”? I mean, it’s possible. There could be bronerds… I have to research this more…
Five Hour Energy is now the acceptable form of energy drink for those who do not want to be affiliated with dirtbikes, greasy hair, and black Tshirts.
It’s a bit more “classy”, if that word can even be used in this context, since it can be taken in one gulp and the people in the commercials wear ties. My one friend needs to drink two of these when he heads out on a Saturday night to be in the proper energy atmosphere. Note: NEVER drink two Five Hour Energys in a row, you will most likely die.
Energy drinks are also a nifty place to hide your illegal drugs!
A routine sobriety test in Upper Saucon turned out to be more than a DUI arrest after police say they found $3,925 in cash on the driver and more than 15 grams of cocaine hidden inside food and beverage containers in his car.
According to a criminal complaint, police pulled over a silver Toyota 4Runner after the vehicle failed to stay in the lane while turning onto Landis Mill Road from 378 South on Sept. 15.
While police interviewed the driver, identified as Gregory Hanson, 36, of Easton, they detected the odor of an alcoholic beverage inside Hanson’s car. When Hanson failed a field sobriety test, he was taken into custody.
Police say Hanson had $3,925 in cash in his pocket when he was taken into custody.
While police were conducting a vehicle inventory, police located two “clear knotted plastic baggies containing a white powdery substance in…the center console of the vehicle.” Also in the console was a “Rock Star Energy Drink” with a false bottom that held several more plastic baggies containing a white powdery substance.
After obtaining a search warrant, police identified 14 baggies in the Rock Star beverage, and found that each of the 16 baggies (14 in the drink, two from the console) held approximately a gram of the white substance.
Police also found a Pringles potato chip can with a false bottom, a box of sandwich bags, $8 in cash, rolling papers, and a paper with names and numbers. SOURCE: Upper Saucon Patch
Somebody’s been hitting up the head shop. For those not familiar, you can buy these types of cans in a variety of places, but more so in the places that also sell “tobacco only smoking pipes” that everyone knows they will be smoking marijuana with.
Now, the false bottom Pringles can and false bottom Pepsi cans may trick your mom into thinking you just want diabetes, but, cops are paid to go through all your crap and make fun of it.
The almost sad thing here is that at some point this guy went out one day and was like, “I’m going to buy some false bottom snack containers and put all of my drugs in them so I can drive from place to place and if I do get pulled over, it’ll be okay because they won’t have any reason to look through my stuff.”
Unless you’re drunk, because, that.
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