Man Rubs Genitals on Lady’s Behind in Line at Kmart

1. Who shops at Kmart? Do they still have Blue Light Specials? Do you remember when they offered Internet service? Like, wtf? That was a thing.

2. Ladies are justified in punching a dude in the face during a variety of instances. If you get your butt rubbed by some creep’s private parts, that’s totally a 100% Okay time to punch a dude in the face. It’s a free pass. You can basically do whatever you want in one swing. Not that you WANT to really earn this pass or anything, I’m just saying, it’s there.

A 26-year-old man was arrested Sunday evening after sexually assaulting a woman at the Kmart in Allentown, police said.

Jose Israel Vazquez-Villanueva, no known address, allegedly rubbed his genitals against the woman’s buttocks as they stood in line at the 1502 S. Fourth St. store.

The woman told officers Vazquez-Villanueva was behind her in the checkout line at 6:39 p.m., police said. She asked him on three occasions to back up because she could feel his breath on her neck, police said.

Finally, Vazquez-Villanueva rubbed his himself against her rear, prompting the victim to shout for help, police said. The woman later told officers she was frightened for her safety and that of her five-month-old daughter, police said.

In response to the woman’s calls for help, Kmart security escorted Vazquez-Villanueva to another room, where he subsequently met with officers, police said.

Vazquez-Villanueva smelled of alcohol and was carrying two vials of cocaine in his pants pocket, police said. SOURCE: The Express Times

Do Kmart’s still have Little Caesar’s in them or is that over? 

I cannot remember the last time I was either in a Kmart or a Long John Silver’s. Maybe we should have a field trip this weekend or something. I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of dramatic instances.