Lehigh Valley Missed Connections of the Week brought to you by Blue Monkey Sports Restaurant, Townsend Insurance, Mr. Maybe Entertainment, iMobileRescue, Joe’s Tavern and Molly’s Irish Grille & Sports Pub!
“The Associated Mess” is my favorite answer to anyone who ever says “There’s nothing to do in the Lehigh Valley.” Think “Whose Line is it Anyway?” but dirtier and chocked full of local performers. If you want to mix up your weekly routine of heading out to the bar and wandering around aimlessly in the streets, you owe it to your inner jerk to watch this troupe at least once.
On September 2 at the Artsquest Steel Stacks, Ass Mess and friends will be bringing back “The Best of Craigslist” and we’re giving away two pairs of tickets to the show! So, all you have to do to enter is read this whole thing and then comment below. We’ll announce two winners on Thursday, August 30. You don’t HAVE to be funny, but it’ll earn you brownie points.
But, before that, some local people you’re glad you’re not!
Date: 2012-08-20, 7:06PM EDTReply to:email@example.com
You didn’t have it. You couldn’t walk.. for all those years, but once you met… with me.. You stood and walked.. How could you? Please get to me? Please? Please? Please? Please? I miss your red hair and your blue eyes.. You kissed me. I didn’t get to kiss you back.
Date: 2012-08-24, 7:56AM EDT
Reply to this posta little over a year ago. you were a cute blonde guy. i was a cute blonde girl walking behind you with my younger brunette sister. we were passing by a martial arts studio and joking about her being obsessed. she started yelling “dojo, dojo!” at me, and you turned and said it with a weird, but totally sweet high kick. i gave you my number, but you didn’t have a phone and i didn’t have a pen, so you were trying to remember it.
you were my greatest missed connection.
Date: 2012-08-22, 8:13PM EDT
Reply to this postThe LV theater circuit is pretty small and I’m glad to finally be in a show with you. You’re pretty hot and thought since we have few months together, we can make the most of them and have a little fun. Let me know what you think…
Date: 2012-08-23, 11:12PM EDT
Reply to this postYour name start with an “H”I was there on a Saturday night.. You were my waiter and you’re body is so freaking hot.. Your eyes are beautiful you were flirting with me and I flirt back!!! Get back to me if you see this sexy man!!! ;)
And, now, your totally weird Missed Connection of the Week!
Date: 2012-08-22, 10:56PM EDT
Reply to this postRemember that time when I was talking about how my sketches looked so messy because I was so scribbly and erase-y and you said “that’s really surprising because you’re such an organized guy” and I thought “wow she must not know me that well” but now I am drafting this in Evernote where I keep and organize almost everything I can think of keeping and organizing. I feel organized even though I might not be. I read that book by David Allen and he said all that matters is that I THINK I’m organized, or at least I DON’T think I’m unorganized and have to spend hours upon hours organizing my goals in life instead of actually getting down to it and tormenting photoshop to composite nude pictures together in black and white to put helvetica words (one day I will gain the confidence to call them poems. Just like one day I will gain the confidence to ask a girl out on a date. Right?) over them. I remember you were going out with that dude that I thought was really mean to me and I was stalking his Facebook one day and saw the little box for “in a relationship with” and I thought you were a joke account because you’re a cutie that didn’t look like you’d be attracted to mean people.
Remember when we saw Sigur Rós. You guys stood next to my open jaw for two hours. This is some serious life shit right here. We stared into the blinding light together. Serious. Life. Shit. I haven’t seen you since.
Remember when you liked my status? Come like my life pls.
You know what, screw that, the reason they won’t ask people out is because they ENJOY the whole “I’m so shy” bullshit. They enjoy having that type of “sensitivity” attached to them. It’s all masturbation!
If you didn’t check out our “College Student Guide to Your First Week of College” do that.
Now, post below to win The Associated Mess Best of Craigslist tickets.