Nazareth Man Shows Wiener While Riding Bike, Then Crashes (FACEBOOK PROFILE)

Crazy people are incredibly amazing. I’m talking super crazy people like the lady I always see in south Bethlehem constantly crossing the street while taking to her shopping cart. She’s out of her gourd, but, you know what? She may possibly be happier than someone who is stone cold sane. She doesn’t know any better because she’s crazy, so, in her mind, she’s probably actually not so unhappy.

Always makes me think.

A Nazareth man exposed himself to a couple and led police on a chase that ended inside the Nazareth Giant supermarket, Nazareth police said.

Lucas Somishka, 29, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) of the 300 block of Mauch Chunk Street in Nazareth, allegedly approached Michael and Jessica Kalinoski, a husband and wife, while on his bicycle and exposed his genitalia before accidentally crashing the bicycle, according to court documents.

Michael Kalinoski stopped to help Somishka, who allegedly removed the seat from his bicycle and held it in a threatening manner, saying it could be used as a weapon, according to court documents. Michael Kalinoski, who felt threatened, then called police.

So this guy still helps him even after he just showed his junk to him and his wife? Pretty impressive, I have to say. Good Samaritan of the month!

Police caught up with Somishka a few blocks away on South Broad Street, but Somishka refused to stop, according to court documents.

“No, I didn’t do anything wrong,” Somishka allegedly told police, and he claimed the last time he dealt with police an officer broke his arm, according to court documents.

Police pursued Somishka, who allegedly rode into oncoming traffic on Easton Road before going into the Giant Plaza’s parking lot. Police continued pursuit, but could not catch Somishka, as he was weaving in and out of cars, according to court documents.

Everyone should be required to have a video recording capable device on hand so that they can document these types of ridiculous criminal chases and then email them to me.

Somishka eventually crashed into a police car before fleeing into the Giant, where he surrendered after police threatened to use a stun gun on him, according to court documents.

He is charged with terroristic threats, disorderly conduct, harassment, resisting arrest and public exposure. His bail was set at $2,500, and he will undergo a psychiatric screening. He was unable to post bail, according to court documents.SOURCE: The Express-Times

I think my favorite part of this is him brandishing the bicycle seat like an axe. 

I haven’t had anyone wield anything at me since that old guy jumped out of his Lexus with a metal baseball bat because we didn’t cross the street fast enough.

That’s a whole other story, though.