Hopefully, we will do a Celtic Classic Photo Scavenger Hunt if people are interested.
The Missed Connections are a day early because I will be in Atlantic City and Philadelphia all weekend for a friend’s bachelor party. If there are no posts on Monday, that means I am dead. So, send out the Bethlehem Police search horses to find me.
Now, onto people who make you feel better about yourself.
Date: 2012-08-14, 8:32PM EDT
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
This is for the very hottt Italian guy at the Bethlehem Musikfest last Saturday August 11, 2012. You looked between 38 to 42, possibly 5’10 to 6’ tall, had very dark brown beautiful hair and eyes, you wore a navy blue baseball hat to the back, sunglasses on your head and toted a back pack on your shoulder. I walked by you and found you to be very attractive. You were sitting near the LeiderPlex Stage. Later in the day, my girlfriend and I stood in the crowd and watched the monitor screen as the caricature artist drew your picture. Surprisingly, you openly and without shame or embarrassment flirted with the artist, then us, and then every woman who stood in line. You mentioned match dot com in every other sentence, the fact that you were from Manayunk-Philadelphia and something about having dated a polish or swedish girl I think. I’m really surprised you didn’t just simply belt out your phone number or write it on your forehead for every girl at the festival to see. On the one hand you were very funny…everyone in line was laughing but then again on a romantic level I definitely saw the potential of you being an absolute pain in the ass! But aside from first impressions there was no doubt that from seeing you for the very first time, I found you to be smokin’ hot. If you had asked me for my phone number like a gentleman rather than hollered for it across the whole area for everyone to hear I probably would have given it to you. It’s a shame you didn’t have a more demure approach as I really would have loved to have seen you again, had dinner with you sometime and if you stopped talking for long enough I would have thoroughly enjoyed discovering what your beautiful mouth tasted like as my thoughts seem to have become filled with what it would have been like to kiss you. …such a shame. but maybe we will meet again at the Musikfest next year… please do take care!
TLDR. If this woman types this much to someone she doesn’t know, can you imagine how much she’d be talking in your ear all the time? No thanks crazy finger typing lady.
Wait, I just read the last two sentences, she wants to make out? Do it!
Date: 2012-08-15, 10:53PM EDT
Reply to: email@example.com
I was at MGMT at Musicfest on the bleachers 2 girls were Saying I love u to the MGMT BAND and Singing along.
And a girl said I want to touch random boys I gave her the Peace Sing.
You spelled it “Musicfest” so, everything after that is invalid. Also, who types like this? Do you have a different keyboard than I do? Also, I think you’re a bit slow, but you’re trying and that’s all that matters!
Date: 2012-08-11, 10:27PM EDT
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.orgHeeeeeello gorgeous!
Purple tshirt, cowboy boots, hat & jeans.
DAMN! What a body!
You were with 2 women & another man who was pulling a wagon with a child in it.
Omg! I saw you somewhere between 3 & 4…I think & I still can’t get you out of my mind!
If you think this is you…tell me the kind of jeans you had on or the color of your hat.
What? I would totally dress like that if it was Halloween. I am sad to say I did not see the cowboy pulling children around in the wagon. That would have been worth points! Now, to be fair, a properly worn cowboy hat in the proper style can be a quality fashion accessory. Few can pull it off without looking like they are really lost in the big city, but it can be done.
Date: 2012-08-15, 11:43PM EDT
Reply to: email@example.com
I was pulling out of my parking space in the parking lot where Giant is in Hellertown, talking on the phone via handsfree. You were pulling in, driving shirtless in your silver pickup. I think I almost blocked your way in, because I was so distracted by you, lol. I couldn’t help but look up to get a better look, and I saw you looking down as you approached. As you passed, I just had to get another look, and saw you looking again. Holy fuck, dude, you are HOTTTTTT. Face that makes me wanna kiss you, and a body to lick from head to toe.If you are reading this, and I was right about us checking each other out, lemme know the make and color of car I had. Or maybe you were looking cuz you were pissed that I had given you so little room to get in. Pissed or not, I’d still suck your cock.
And, now onto my favorite Craigslist Missed Connection in months…