Boyfriend Slaps Sunburned Girlfriend’s Butt, She Stabs Him With Steak Knife

I’m not sure how many times a friend has shown me a sunburn and I’ve slapped it just because, well, I’m not sure. Why do you do this? You know it’s going to hurt them like hell. But, then again, why are they showing me their wounded puppy skin and not expecting me to slap it out of sheer fun?

I guess I haven’t thought long and hard about this.

However, as much as it hurts to get slapped on your French sun kissed skin, I am pretty sure I wouldn’t stab you with a knife. 

Pretttttty sure.

A Bethlehem woman allegedly stabbed her boyfriend after he slapped her on her sunburned rear while she was doing dishes, police report. 

Tiffany Sherry, 24, of the 900 block of Wyandotte Street in Bethlehem, suffered serious sunburn recently and her boyfriend Michael Martinez told police he was aware of this when he slapped her buttocks while she was doing dishes Monday evening at her home, according to authorities.

Ha! Take that girlfriend nicely doing the dishes! That will teach you!

Police say Sherry turned around with a large steak knife, clearly agitated. Martinez backed into the other room while Sherry allegedly followed, wielding the knife. Police say Martinez asked Sherry what she was doing.

“What are you going to do? Stab me in front of the kids?” Martinez asked, according to a police report.

Possibly the wrong question to ask. RUNNN YOU IDIOT!

Sherry allegedly ordered the children out of the room and poked Martinez in the stomach with knife. She then stabbed him in the right shoulder and in the upper back as he turned to flee, police report.

Sherry allegedly yelled to Martinez while he was running away.

“I’m going to (expletive) kill you!” she allegedly said. SOURCE: The Express-Times

This is akin to buying your wife a vacuum cleaner for Christmas. Is it funny? Hell yes it is funny. However, you best have also bought her a diamond ring to go along with it or you can bet your ass you’re not getting any until Memorial Day.

However, HOLY HELL you have children and although this guy was not exactly being supportive while you were slaving away in front of the sink, perhaps you should have just kicked him in the balls or something and called it a day.

Never go to bed angry. Oh, and don’t stab your boyfriend in front of your kids. 

We have all learned an important lesson today: This could have all been prevented had she put on some suntan lotion.

Also: aloe plants. There is a huge frozen aloe plant arm in my freezer at this very moment so that I don’t get stabbed.

Don’t forget, Musikfest has started and we have tons of prizes to give away in the Musikfest Photo Scavenger Hunt. All you need is a camera.