Vending Machines and Pain Pills and Nurses, Hells Yes!

Nurses scare me. Why? Because they are either  1. people who got their degrees from DeVry “University” and took the advice of their commercials or 2. people who couldn’t make up their mind what they wanted to be in college and figured that ACTUALLY becoming a veterinarian would require some studying and hard work.

So, what’s the next best thing to taking care of kitty cats? Well, taking care of old people who poop in their beds, of course!!!

So, they go through washing old guys’ balls for a few years, clean up a few pans of shit and then they get some better nursing job where they just yell at all the nurses under them who are now washing old guys’ balls and cleaning up pans of shit.

I don’t trust nurses. I just kinda look at them as the people who could get the doctor for me if I needed him/her.

Oh, and they also have access to drugs and apparently at least four of them love to use the shit.

The Attorney General’s office accused four local nurses of stealing pain medication from a pair of Lehigh Valley Health Network hospitals.

 According to police:

• Tracy Goetter, 48, of Coopersburg, took leftover Fentanyl and tried to make her own pain patches. She worked at Lehigh Valley Hospital-Muhlenberg until sometime in the spring.

• Lisa Citrola (Boring Facebook Page), 48, of the 2000 block of Fieldstone Drive in Lower Saucon Township, stole 195 mg of Dilaudid and 644 mg of morphine between August 2007 and Dec. 2008. She allegedly injected herself in a hospital bathroom while employed in the emergency room at Lehigh Valley Hospital-Muhlenberg.

• Christopher Evans, 31, of Breinigsville, siphoned 78 vials of Fentanyl and a smaller amount of a Midazolam. He stole drugs four or five times a week during June and July. Witnesses told police that Evans disposed of waste quantities of the drugs, but the disposed of liquids turned out to be saline solution. Evans worked at Lehigh Valley’s Cedar Crest campus.

• Krista Lichtenberger (Facebook Page), 25, of the 700 block of 10th Avenue in Bethlehem, also an emergency room nurse at Lehigh Valley Hospital-Muhlenberg, accessed a vending machine containing prescription medications on her day off. She removed three pain killers for her own use.  Source

Ok, so maybe I was a little harsh on nurses. They aren’t ALL bad and I’m sure there are a few of them who are nice and actually know what they are doing. But, they just scare me. I think what they are really there for is comfort. Like, if I broke my arm and went into the ER and I had to hang with a nurse for awhile, I’d like for her to be kinda dumb, cute and telling me that everything would be ok. I also think….WOAH WOAH WOAH WOHAOSDFH!!!!!

WAIT ONE FUCKING MINUTE HERE

THERE are VENDING MACHINES THAT DISPENSE FUCKING PAIN KILLERS?!??!?!?

Do they accept stolen Canadian coins? Cause I have a TRUCKload of those fuckers to get rid of.