The Weekend Comes! (Naked Man Gets Sentenced / The Bookstore)

SOOOOO. It’s Friday at 4:20something p.m. and I’m about ready to head out for a fun weekend. What does this weekend include? Well, possibly the Bookstore in South Bethlehem, if you haven’t been there yet, please do so. Go to Theelvee.com for a review on this swanky little speakeasy by a friend of mine who sleeps in his car during lunch!

Check out LVScene for some fun stuff to do if you don’t know what you should do this weekend. And, if you’re like me with NO plan, you’re just going to end up drunk and wondering why you lost your pants (again) and the door at The Funhouse is hitting you in the back of the head… So, plan ahead, it’s safer.

Also, check out this NAKED dude who checked a lady hostage about a year ago. He’s going to prison. Note to guys who want to try The Naked Man, it could have consequences.

An Upper Mount Bethel Township man who held a woman against her will for hours at her home will serve up to four years in state prison.

Mark D. Klemka, 45, was sentenced this morning by Northampton County Judge Anthony Beltrami after earlier pleading guilty to misdemeanors of indecent assault, simple assault, terroristic threats and unlawful restraint.

On early Jan. 24, Klemka’s victim, who had a protection from abuse order against him, awoke to find Klemka standing there naked, police said. He kept her in the Upper Mount Bethel home from about 1:30 a.m. until noon, when he left and she fled and called 911, police said.

Under Beltrami’s sentence, Klemka will be eligible for parole after 18 months in prison. In handing it down, the judge noted that Klemka has a criminal history that includes two prior simple assaults and a harassment conviction. Source

(Doing the math….) That’s like 11 hours of naked man keeping you hostage. I bet it was prettttty easy for her to identify him in a lineup after all that time spent together (just really uncomfortable for the other guys in the lineup.)

On a side note, how do they pick the guys in the lineup? I mean, on TV they all look similar, do they just go on the street and offer you like $10 to pretend you raped a girl for a few minutes and say stuff like, “Hey, gimme your wallet.” If so, that’s a sweet little gig.

Anyway, have a good weekend. Don’t be stupid. Don’t drink and drive. If she has an adam’s apple, she’s a dude. Don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk. PEACE.