You Don’t Steal a Man’s PBR

Well, Halloween is upon us and that means only one thing: Girls dressed up like sluts.

Isn’t it odd now that if you see a girl NOT dressed up as a “Slutty Cat” or a “Whorish Bat” you think she’s got some issues or something? Like, if she were to take the time to make a kick ass Transformer costume you’d be like, “Um, why isn’t your ass hanging out?”

We’re such a sad society.

Not as sad as this fellow, however, who really lost before he even tried.

John Higginbotham, 55, who lives in the Kitnersville section of Bucks County, was charged Thursday by Pennridge Regional police with burglarizing a home and stealing seven 16-oz cans of Pabst.

Chief David A. Mettin said Higginbotham twice had gone to his old neighbor’s home in the 1600 block of Park Avenue to ask for beer. The neighbor obliged, Mettin said, even giving Higginbotham an extra one the second time. At 6 p.m., when the neighbor returned home, Mettin said, he found his door window broken, his deadbolt unlocked and his beer gone.

It wasn’t hard to figure out who it was, Mettin said.

Police went to Higginbotham’s former township house on Three Mile Run Road, where they found six empty beer cans in the garage. Higginbotham admitted to the burglary, Mettin said.

“We knew he couldn’t have gotten far,” Mettin said.

Higginbotham was charged with burglary, theft and receiving stolen property. He was released on his own recognizance. Source

Only 6? Man. This guy was super hard up. I mean, I’ve had beer cravings before, but I can’t say I’d break into my neighbor’s house, who I just asked for beer, just to ease the shakes.

But, them be the breaks.

Ok, kids, off to play dress up like Culture Club.