You Can’t Hula Hoop at Musikfest? WHAT?

Apparently, you’re allowed to drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol out of an open container on city streets for a week, but you can’t hula hoop at Musikfest.

Read that. You can’t. HULA HOOP. At. MUSIKFEST. (Ok, well turns out that you can, but let’s pretend you can’t for a little bit, it makes this whole thing work better. Thanks)

The whole new hula hooping trend is kinda fascinating. If you haven’t taken notice, cool new “designer” hoops are being swung about the waist of girls who would look like they would normally be at some sort of Greatful Dead/Nine Inch Nails super concert with their dreadlocked hair, tight grungy tops and big smiles.

It’s weird how it came about, since I don’t know how it came about, but I think it’s pretty cool. It’s as if hopscotch became popular among cute girls again and they’d play it all over town. That or four square, which is EASILY the best child’s game EVER.

Anyhoo, these girls have been hooping about Musikfest (and it’s actually pretty cool to watch) BUT NOW THE MAN IS SHUTTING THEM THE FUCK DOWN!

Danelle Hakim was just trying to ”spread the hoop love” at Musikfest.

Hakim, 24, of Bethlehem said she had been hula hooping in the street near Plaza Tropical on Wednesday night when a group of kids took notice and joined in.

”It wasn’t more than a minute before a police officer came over and broke it up,” she said, adding the officer told her the hoopers were blocking traffic and creating a hazard because a hula hoop could hit someone.

Hakim isn’t the only one whose hooping has created a hoopla at the annual festival. Other hoopers, including Tina Hemmerle, owner of the Happy Hooper, 520 Main St., right in the heart of Musikfest, also have been told to stop hooping.

”There are so many things that are permitted that are unhealthy and dangerous,” Hemmerle said as she sat at a table outside her shop Thursday afternoon, cutting wicks for a ”fire hoop” performance Thursday night at the Wildflower Cafe, 316 New St., Bethlehem.

”To see something so positive turned into something so negative…there’s not even a word.”

Hemmerle’s first brush with the law at Musikfest came last Friday night , when she was hooping by the sidewalk in front of her store. She said a Musikfest volunteer broke up the group of hoopers that had formed.

Another hooper, Jo-Ann Hindon, 30, of Northampton, said she was hooping at Plaza Tropical on Wednesday on an empty lawn when two police officers told her to put away her hoop or she would be escorted out of Musikfest.

”They told me it was against the rules. Just like you have to keep your shirt on and you can’t bring your dog to Musikfest, hula hooping is not allowed,” she said.

But both Musikfest spokeswoman Kim Plyler and Bethlehem Mayor John Callahan said they don’t have a problem with hula hooping. Source

I guess Callahan has made it clear that you can hula hoop at Musikfest, as long as you aren’t naked, on drugs or hitting a police horse in the face.

So, what’s the big deal then? ANOTHER PISSED OFF cop. Jeesus, of COURSE Callahan is going to allow hula hooping, how else is he going to score some trim on a Friday night in Bethlehem? He knows that if he stands up for the rights of these little Wham-O Vixens, he’ll hula hoop right into their little crazy hearts.

So, cops, c’mon, it’s just fucking hooping. And it looks cool. And these girls could be doing much worse, like beating people up at the bar, or making babies. HOOP ON SISTERS!

Oh, and I was serious about four square. I figure if these cool girls can bring back a childhood item and dodgeball can be jumpstarted by some mediocre movie, then I can certainly sponsor a Lehigh Valley with Love Four Square Tournament. We just need to find a BIG fucking parking lot.