Ed Hanna is a Real Celebrity. John Callahan is Not.

Everyone wants to help out the Celtic Fest, which fell on some hard times recently, but maybe the best way to do it is NOT assume that people are retarded (the pejorative form of “retarded”) and know what a local celebrity is.

A local celebrity is someone who is pretty much known to most people within a specific geographical location. Most newscasters are local celebrities by default. Some rich businessmen can be local celebrities, any minor sports star in an area can be one too. Really good strippers sometimes get the title. Formerly famous people who moved someone to retire or just got bankrupt can also be local celebrities.

Keep in mind that Johnny the Crazy Homeless Nut Job can also be a homeless celebrity, just for the sake that everyone knows who he is.

So, when Celtic Fest tells people they are going to have “local celebrity” bartenders, you’d like to think they are bringing in Channel 69’s Ed Hanna or anyone from the Iron Pigs, or old guy who used to play for the St. Louis Cardinals. Fuck, I’d even be OK with the Chicken Lady. Where’d she go?

Local “celebrities” will be pouring drinks Thursday night at Starters Riverport to raise money for the 2009 Celtic Classic.

The bartenders will include Mayor John Callahan; Gary Laubach, RCN’s director of media services and sports director/broadcaster and two all-star athletes members of the Philadelphia Gaelic Athletic Association’s Allentown Hibernians Hurling team — Patrick O’Donnell and Michael Friel.

The event from will run from 7 to 9 p.m., and proceeds from their tips will benefit the annual festival, planned for Sept. 25 to 27.

This is the 22nd anniversary of the festival, which brings more than 250,000 visitors to Bethlehem for traditional Celtic music, dance, athletics and food. There has never been an admission fee for the festival, but the Celtic Cultural Alliance must raise funds to regain what was lost during two of the past five years, when it rained. Source

WTF? I see Callahan out on the town all the time and I’m not like, “Oh SHIT, local celebrity, sign my tits.” If I saw Ed Hanna, however. I might be more inclined to show some cleavage. That guy’s mysterious!!!!

OH C’MON. Just cause you SAY they are celebrities doesn’t mean they are. Who the fuck are these guys? They throw the trees and rocks at Celtic Fest? Well just say that then. Don’t patronize me into thinking I’m going to actually meet a celebrity when it’s just a couple of guys in kilts, the mayor of Bethlehem (who would probably already be there drinking anyway) and some also ran from RCN.

Celebrities can’t be dying THAT fast. There have to be a few left to choose from.