What It Feels Like to Get Hit in the Balls

Is there an woman equivalent of a man being hit in the gnards? I was once told that getting in the boob hurt, but that’s not your balls and hitting a lady in her private parts can’t really hurt THAT bad, they are already kinda.. well I’ll spare you the logistics. Let’s just move to a description of the feeling.

Getting hit in the balls feels like someone shoved a very angry elf in-between your bladder and your bowels. That elf makes you feel simultaneously sick to your stomach and wanting to puke. Your eyes also water and you feel as though someone just tied two two-pound weights to your scrotum and then swung said weights like a pendulum.

Yeah, that about sums it up.

A 61-year-old woman upset with her husband struck him in the crotch with a crowbar and then hit him in the head with it, Stroud Area Regional police said.

Dale D. Morris, of Stroudsburg, was charged with aggravated assault, simple assault and reckless endangerment and sent to Monroe County Correctional Facility on $10,000 bail.

Police were dispatched at 8:30 p.m. Monday to a home at Fetherman Street to investigate the domestic assault against Neil Morris, 61.

Police said Dale Morris got angry over a note her husband left her and when he came home, she confronted him and then struck him in the crotch with a crowbar. When he bent over, she struck him in the head with the crowbar. Police and court records did not indicate what was written in the note.

When police asked her where she hit her husband, Dale Morris responded, she “hit him in the ——-because he deserved it,” according to an arrest affidavit.

Neil Morris was taken to Pocono Medical Center, but his condition was unavailable. Source

Um, his condition is “This sucks.”

Ok, a few things, 1. this lady carries around a crowbar awaiting the return of her husband? 2. Not only did she hit him once in the head, but she decided to go ahead and bash him another time in the nuts. 3. This woman has some serious issues that probably do not stem from merely being left a note that wasn’t up to her satisfaction.

I hope it read, “Bitch, you be buggin’”

Ugh, just thinking about that makes my eyes water.