The Lehigh Valley. Allentown, Bethlehem, Easton and everything, and everyone, in-between.
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Township Wants Dead Lady’s Family to Pay

This here be a tough one.

So, old lady works for township, embezzles a Oprah-load of cash (like $2.5 Million) and then lives a suhweet lifestyle for awhile.

Then she gets caught and dies from cancer in the head before she can be tried and put in jail.

So, now that she’s all fucking dead, the township wants the money back and is going after her family who may have or may have NOT known that she was fucking rich because she was stealing from taxpayers.

Lower Macungie officials who are still trying to recoup some of the estimated $2.5 million that Margaret Szulborski allegedly embezzled from the township are now going after the late township supervisor’s family to recover some of those funds.

The township filed complaints in
Lehigh County Court this week against Szulborski’s husband Richard, her daughter Michelle M. Zenie and son-in-law Karl T. Zenie, claiming the three knowingly accepted stolen money used for vacations, vehicles and other expenses.

Steven A. Bergstein, the Allentown attorney representing Richard Szulborski, called the township’s latest move “one of the most disturbing things I’ve seen.”

Bergstein has filed court papers of his own to force the township to turn over nearly $225,000 in pension funds and other money he says has wrongly been denied the family since Szulborski’s death.

"To put this family through what they’re doing….this is an outrage," Bergstein said. He said that Richard Szulborski, who lives in Lower Macungie, is blind and that his son David, 51, died in late April.

Jeffrey Fleischaker, the Fleetwood attorney representing the Zenies, said his clients deny the allegations in the complaint, but declined further comment.

Margaret Szulborski, a former township supervisor and employee, was accused of stealing sewer fees she was responsible for collecting. The alleged thefts occurred between 1999 and 2006, the township alleges. She died in February 2008 after battling brain cancer and before her case went to trial.
Source

Yeah, kinda different when you find out the husband is fucking blind and his son died in April.

See, this is what sucks about dying. Say you have a lot of debt, then you die, well they are going to hunt down anyone from your siblings, old fuck buddies or someone who you had coffee with one day until they get back what they fucking want. That’s kinda depressing.

They got swindled, what do they honestly think they are going to get out of these people? You can’t really PROVE that anything was given to them and they had direct knowledge that it was stolen unless it’s on tape or something.

So, seriously, fuck. I am going to side on the bad lady’s family on this one. As much as it blows, they can’t really be held liable if they didn’t know.

Besides, Lower Macungie Township is full of fucking rich people, just raise taxes, I heard property owners don’t mind that.

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Stupid Old Man Can’t Land 13-Year-Old

My Morning Routine:

  1. Wake up.
  2. Realize that awesome dream I was having about me and A.C. Slater fighting Nazis at a swim meet didn’t happen.
  3. Pout about that.
  4. Hit snooze alarm to get five more minutes of sleep.
  5. Wake up and start humming the part of the “Duck Tales” theme song where it goes “Gotta get up, gotta get going..” or something, it motivates me, shut up.
  6. Get dresssed, showered, brushed.
  7. Stop at WaWa
  8. Get to work.

Now, there have been instances, weekends mostly, where I would want to get up and maybe do something fun or whatever. I’m just not a morning person. Takes me awhile to get moving.

This guy, however, is rocking out with his cock out before I’m even thinking about calling off work because my “grandma was in a really bad car accident.”

A 67-year-old Bangor man faces charges after police accused him of attempting to lure a girl into his car Monday, according to police records.

Isidore A. Capozzolo, of the 500 block of McKinley Street, was charged with attempting to lure a 13-year-old girl into his car early Monday morning, police say.

The girl was allegedly approached by Capozzolo about 6:50 a.m. near Division and North Sixth streets, police say.

Capozzolo was arraigned before Judge Todd Strohe and sent to Northampton County Prison in lieu of $20,000 bail, according to police. Source

Sooo, he got up, (if he went to bed at all) then went out trolling for girls to try and coerce into his car? People CANNOT be this delusional, can they? I mean, what is enticing about an old dirty man in his old dirty car at 6:50 a.m.?

If he really wanted her, he’d have to come up with some sort of shtick. Like, he has some signed copies of the Jonas Brothers autobiography or something. Or he has some new unreleased “Twilight” book. THEN she’d be in his car. Fucking amateurs, I tell you.

Oh, and YES I did rock the snuggie last night. I don’t fuck around.

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Bethlehem Teen Plans for Strip Poker

I shoplifted when I was younger :(

I’m sad to admit. I’m assuming that everyone has, at some point. All I really did was stick some comic books under my shirt and take off. I don’t remember if it was for the thrill or just the fact that I was 8-years-old and unemployed.

I remember a girl in college who had tons of money and would just steal stuff for the fuck of it. There was no rhyme or reason to it. She would see some cheap $1 lipstick at Delilah’s, or whatever the fuck that store is called, and she’d steal it, even if she was already buying $50 worth of stuff. What a fucking sicko.

Totally great rack though.

Anyhoo, this Bethlehem kid knows what the deal is. The ONLY thing he did wrong in this situation was to get caught:

A 14-year-old city boy allegedly tried to steal two boxes of Trojan condoms and two decks of playing cards from the CVS on West Fourth Street at 2:15 p.m. Source

OH MAN you know he was getting a game of strip poker (or should I say Strip POKE HER!!! HAHAHAHA) together and got nabbed by “the man.”

OK. Waaaaaait a second there Tonto, you’re saying, I know. The kid is 14!!! 14!!!

Now, see, at first that seemed really, really young to me. But, it’s not. I mean, 15 is about the time guys are going for the gold, so to speak, so at least this kid had it in his right mind that if he was going to do Sally Sue after she lost on pair of her Queen of Hearts and he got to put his Ace in the hole, he might as well have his One Eyed Jacks covered up.

WOAH. I totally just did that!

Oh, and P.S. Still totally rocking the Snuggie tonight, however, I’m a bit more worried now.

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Boy Nearly Blows Self Up with Keg

Ahh, late spring, early summer, Sprummer, if you will. This is the time of year we used to take pick up trucks, place kegs in the back and drive to some secluded field and just drink awful beer.

Now, while I never have personally seen someone super injured or die at one of these types of parties, I WAS at one in Massachusetts some summer night with friends and there was a bonfire and, of course, kegs.

Some kid decided that he wanted to see how long he could stand on top of the fire. So, literally, he straddled the fire, a foot on each side of it, while it slowly curled up his pant legs.

Problem was, he was wearing those cargo pants made out of the synthetic material (Gore-texy?) and they proceeded to fucking MELT ONTO HIS SKIN. Needless to say, he lasted a good thirty seconds and was screaming in pain while double fisting gin and tonics for the rest of the evening.

This young man may have even been a touch stupider:

A 15-year-old Sellersville boy was injured Monday afternoon when a beer keg placed into a fire exploded, officials said.

The boy, who suffered a cut to his head, was taken to Lehigh Valley Hospital by helicopter.

Sellersville Volunteer Fire Department Chief John Lindsay said the unidentified boy probably was hit by flying metal.

The incident happened about 4:15 p.m. when several youngsters gathered behind some homes on Main Street near Longwood Avenue, Lindsay said.
Source

Oh yeah it was PROBABLY flying metal. What the fuck else was he going to get hit with after a fucking METAL keg exploded? SERIOUSLY WTF?

Anyway, fire is a dangerous thing, kids. The only fun things to burn in fires of this sort are couches, D Batteries, Barbie Dolls and American Flags (but only if folded properly.)

See, I was once called a Nazi after a group of friends and I decided that we had to throw away this really old and tattered American flag. I looked it up and found out that you can either bury it or burn it, but only if it’s folded all right. So, I fucking folded it and we burned it. I did the right thing people. The right fucking thing.

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The Day Bethlehem Ended (or Began?)

Gamblers are gambling today at the Sands Casino Resort. While it’s not the full-blown Emril Bam-filled extravaganza that Friday will be, the slots are working and are taking all your hard-earned filthy quarters.

So, after years of speculation, posturing and peacocking, the casino is here.

What now?

Some were there to help a charity. Others wanted to see what all the fuss was about. But most people at Sands Casino Resort Bethlehem on Monday were there to be the first people to gamble in Bethlehem.

Invited guests from across the region flocked to south Bethlehem for the first of two test runs designed to get the $743 million casino ready for its official opening at 9 a.m. Friday.

People who arrived about 1 p.m. Monday and expected to wait for the doors to open at 2 instead found themselves ushered directly to the casino floor. There they wasted no time in making Bethlehem the state’s newest gambling town.

”I love the Bethlehem [Area Public] Library,” said Barbara Mesaros, an experienced slots player from Allentown whose library membership got her an invitation to the dry run. ”But I’ll be honest — I’m here to win big money. I’ve been waiting a long time for this to open.”
Source

There are two schools of thought to what happens now.

1. The Sands Casino will bring jobs, prosperity and will stay in step with the rich architectural and working class quality of its new neighborhood or…

2. It’s going to make a shitty part of town even shittier, bringing in shitty people who want to partake in what is widely viewed as an addicting activity while never stepping foot outside of the casino to spread wealth to the privately owned businesses in the community. These gamblers are only visiting the casino, not the area, they are in the Lehigh Valley only in “greedy spirit.”

Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Over/under we start seeing results on one of these scenarios in 2.5 weeks.

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Easton Bike Cops Take Down Cussing!!!!

Thank GOD for the efforts of the Easton Bicycle Brigade, otherwise, the good citizens of the city would have to listen to kids cussing at each other, some guys blasting music and someone drinking on their porch.

I guess they had some sort of “crackdown” recently. If by crackdown we are to assume they just ignored the fact that there ARE POUNDS AND POUNDS OF DRUGS BEING SHIPPED INTO THE CITY ON A DAILY FUCKING BASIS AND YOU WOULD RATHER CITE TWO TEENAGERS FOR SAYING “FUCK.”

Here is a list of their “triumph.”

Sean O’Connor, 19, was cited in the 1100 block of Northampton Street for loud music.
Eartha Holmes, 27, was arrested on an outstanding warrant.
Sequoia Curry, 28, was arrested in the 900 block of Butler Street for false identification to law enforcement, driving without a license and for playing loud music.
Isaac Csezmadia (facebook page here), 25, and Anthony Drummond, 21, were charged by summons for possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia following an incident on the 1200 block of Ferry Street.
Kegan Handlovic, 19, was cited for underage drinking in the 1200 block of Ferry Street.
A girl and a boy were cited for disorderly conduct for using obscene language at 12th and Spring Garden streets.
Christopher Cunha, 30, was cited at 11th and Ferry streets for drinking alcohol in public.
John Lam, 27, was cited in the 1200 block of Lehigh Street for playing loud music in his car.
Jeffrey Woolf, 24, was cited in the 700 block of Northampton Street for drinking alcohol in public.

A girl was arrested in Raspberry Park for possession of a small amount of marijuana. She will be charged through Northampton County Juvenile Probation. Source

I guess people who get arrested don’t have access to Facebook or anything, couldn’t find pages for anyone else except for Isaac up there, anyway.

Great job Easton Bicycle Brigade!!!! I, for one, know that I will not fear going into your fair city and being sworn at, or having some guy have 1/4 onunce of pot, or some dude playing loud music.

Thank god you’re really stamping out the REAL CRIME!!!!

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At Least the Theives are Hygenic? (Also, I’m Going to Wear a Snuggie in Public)

Soooo, I’ve been scouring the Internet trying to find out why the fuck someone would want to steal tons of shampoo. Why some kids from New York City would want to come into PA and steal tons of shampoo. Why the fuck anyone would really want to steal nearly $800 in shampoo?

Like, I know I’m getting older, but is there something I’m not picking up on? Is Head and Shoulders the new Pogs? Has Selsun Blue become the new black tar heroin? Super Confused, signed, me.

Four New York men face charges after they allegedly stole $745 worth of shampoo from a Bethlehem pharmacy, court records say.

Police accused the men of stealing 35 bottles of shampoo from the CVS on the 300 block of Woodlawn Avenue. They identified the suspects as:

Jose Soto, 23, of Brooklyn, N.Y.
Christopher Banchs, 26, of Bronx, N.Y.
Jason Marzan, 22, of Brooklyn, N.Y.
Michael Edie, 23, of Brooklyn, N.Y.

Records say the men went into the CVS on Saturday evening and grabbed the bottles. After speeding away from the store, they were stopped by police responding to the theft report, records say.

Police found the shampoo bottles in the car; Banchs had 10 bottles, worth $190, stuffed in his pants, records say. Source

Sooo, can anyone fill me in on this? Or are these guys just REALLY in need of a fucking shower?

Speaking of nothing in particular, tomorrow night I will be wearing this fucking awesome Electric Fire Guitar CUSTOM MADE SNUGGIE while playing open mic in Bethlehem. No, that’s not me modeling the awesome snuggie, but I’m also not kidding.

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Easton, no, Bethlehem Boy Stabs Car

Gotta love it when you get mad at your significant other and take it out on inanimate objects, like walls, picture frames, televisions or step children. However, I’m not sure if this kid’s rage was pointed in the right direction.

A 16-year-old city boy took umbrage when his grandmother preached to his girlfriend about proper manners.

The boy was in the basement of his grandmother’s home in the 1500 block of Fleming Street when his girlfriend — the mother of his child, according to police — came into the house Sunday morning. Ena Curtis told the girl it was rude not to say hello when you arrive at someone’s home.

The boy came upstairs and threatened to break Curtis’ jaw, according to a police report. A relative injected himself into the argument and the boy grabbed a knife, walked outside and stabbed a car in front of the house, breaking the tip off the blade, police said.

When police arrived the boy had dropped the knife but still was threatening his relatives. He elbowed police officer Rick Hoffman above the right eye as he tried to arrest the teen. Source

Let’s back track quickly here. The 16-year-old boy lives in his grandmother’s basement. He has a girlfriend. They have a kid. The grandmother said it was rude to not say “hello” when walking into someone’s house.

Hmmm, isn’t it also rude to have a fucking kid that is going to leach off my fucking tax dollars for the remainder of their fucking lives unless they turn into Tiger Woods and develop some freakish skill that gets them out of the hood and away from their knife wielding father?

No offense, granny, but maybe you should have been teaching how to put on a fucking condom instead of worrying about how they address you when they walk in the room.

I’m just saying.

(In my haste I just assumed this kid lived in Easton because Easton sucks. So, thanks to KD for setting me fucking straight. Embarrassing, I know.)

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Dunkin’ Donuts Manager a Complete Tool

You know the term “Bulletin Board Material?” Basically, when someone from another athletic team says something derogatory about your team and it shows up in a newspaper or something and then your coach hangs it up and you get all pissed off and you play better and someone turns into Teen Wolf and you win the league championship.

Yeah, well, it’s a good motivational tool for high school football teams and wet t-shirt contests, not so much for employees who could potentially be victims of armed robbery.

If you are the owner of a Bethlehem business and want to remain open 24 hours, you had better think about installing security cameras. That is one proposal currently being considered by city council members.

Armed robberies have occurred in Alpha and Lopatcong Township in New Jersey and Palmer and Williams townships in Pennsylvania. While police search for suspects, business owners and employees have become increasingly vigilant.

"I was never scared here until this," said Eva DeLucca, a manager at the Dunkin’ Donuts on Memorial Parkway, Lopatcong Township. "We’re being very careful. We have the articles (about the robberies) hung up in the back for our employees to look at."

The store’s lobby, previously open until 11 p.m., now closes at 9 p.m. The change went into effect May 10, according to DeLucca.

Lopatcong Township Police Chief Scott Marinelli advised business owners to stay alert and not to be heroic if danger occurs. Source

First of all, trying to confront an armed robber while you are a cashier at a fucking Dunkin Donuts is not “heroic” it is, however, fucking retarded and you deserve to be shot if your minimum wage job is worth dying for.

Also, if I was working at a Dunkin Donuts and my manager put up articles about other stores being robbed at gunpoint, that would be about the time I find a NEW FUCKING JOB!!!!!!

WHO THE FUCK WOULD DO THAT TO THEIR EMPLOYEES? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? IS HE JOKING? IS HE A SADISTIC FUCK?

"This will motivate them to work harder! I’ll just put up stories about other stores and workers very similar to them who were robbed at night and then they will mop the floor better and be more vigilant and on the lookout for guns. That way when they ARE ROBBED they will know what to…oh, wow that makes no sense."

WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK!!!!!!!????????

P.S. That’s Racheal Ray up there. She’s frumpy, but whatever, I’d do her.

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Muhammad Ali has Nothing to do with Muhlenberg College

Soooo, Muhlenberg College gave Muhammad Ali an honorary degree for no fucking reason whatsoever. I’m assuming it was to have Muhammad Ali there for graduation or something?

Justin Fitch, 22, remembers gathering in the living room with his father, watching a replay of one of the biggest upsets in boxing history, when Muhammad Ali knocked out George Foreman in 1974.

Fitch, who was among 532 
Muhlenberg College graduates accepting degrees Sunday, stood in awe as Ali, the 67-year-old former heavyweight boxing champion, took the stage.

”I’ve always been a fan, and I was just shocked to see him in person,” said Fitch, who watched as college President Peyton Helm presented Ali with an honorary doctorate for his humanitarian contributions.

Josh Zosky, 24, who stood behind the crowds of robed graduates, said he didn’t understand why the college decided to award a degree to a famous boxer — until he heard Helm list a few of Ali’s humanitarian achievements.

”I knew him from boxing and I was curious to what the college could possibly give him a degree in, but now after hearing about what he’s done for others, it seems fitting,” said Zosky, who lives near the college and ventured over to watch. Source

Yeahhhh, so he’s done some great shit, but it wasn’t like he did it HERE. This makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. In fact, it seems like a shameless ploy for some sort of attention/press or just the fact that Muhlenberg can say “oh we gave Muhammad Ali a fucking honorary degree, bitch.”

I’d be a little pissed if I was a graduating senior there. I mean, I’d have spent my four years getting a degree in between doing hot chicks and drowning myself weekly in alcohol and all Muhammad Ali has to do is fucking walk on stage and he gets a degree? What the fuck is that about? I didn’t see him cracking a fucking book! He hasn’t even fought in like 30 years? What’s his degree in? Shaking? Bullshit.

Ali thanked Muhlenberg with this quote:

"Mphdhfdsadfads."

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Easton Seeps Out Onto Highway and Will Steal Your Car and Speed Away

Dear Easton,

I was tolerating you  and your drugs and bullets flying every which way and kids being sold on the black market and unicorns being slaughtered and Sour Patch Kids being melted into heroin, but now you’ve gone too far.

You’re allowed to stay in your nice little electric-fence controlled playground, but NOoOOoOOO, now you want to have MORE area to fucking distribute your filth. I hope someone does something about this.

Yours Fuckfully,

Awesome Dude

Oh, what am I talking about? Yeah so some lady was pulled over by someone pretended to be a cop near the 13th Street Exit on Route 22. They took her fucking car.

Easton police are searching for a man who impersonated a police officer, then pulled over a motorist on Route 22 and stole her car.

The woman pulled over about 9 p.m. yesterday near the 13th street exit on Route 22 after a black or dark blue Ford Crown Victoria with white and blue flashing lights approached from behind, police said.

A man in his late 20s walked up to her car, displayed a handgun and forced the woman from the car, police said.

The man then sped away in her car, and a second man in the Crown Victoria drove off in that vehicle, police said.

Police did not indicate how the man impersonated an officer.

Police describe the man as approximately 6 feet tall, with a bandage on the right side of his face and wearing a black leather jacket and blue jeans. The stolen car is a yellow Chevrolet Aveo with New York registration ELG9973.

Anyone with information is asked to contact the Easton police at 610-250-6780 or 610-330-2200.
Source

I know they tell you to make sure you pull somewhere safe when being pulled over because you never know if it’s a real cop or not, but c’mon when do you ever hear of shit like THIS happening?

Now, no one is going to stop for a fucking cop in Easton and I don’t blame them. Basically, stopping while being pulled over by a cop in Easton will result in your losing your car (yes I understand Staties are on the highways, but you still get my fucking idea.)

THIS IS RIDICULOUS!?!?!? Can you even imagine being in this woman’s position? All frantically looking for her driver’s license and registration and hiding the pound of weed in her vagina only to get her car fucking stolen.

Gotta love the description on this guy, too: “Police describe the man as approximately 6 feet tall, with a bandage on the right side of his face and wearing a black leather jacket and blue jeans.” Did Nelly from 2005 get hit hard by the recession? Apparently.

Either that or it was one of those hot, young, hip black dectectives from whatever movies Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are in.

In other news, I’m fucking beat, it’s the fucking weekend, hit me up for some debauchery!!!!

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Off to the Sands and Such

I’m going to be touring the sands in about an hour and then have to go into the hellhole that is Easton, Pa.

So, in the meantime check out this site about going out in the Valley, it’s prettty good. Although, I would prefer more stories about naked chicks with short denim skirts and people puking in the bathroom, oh and fights, those are fun (which means lvwithlove and that blog should totally head out one night.) But, seriously, I approve. Read it.

Will have Sands updates for those who 1. can’t wait or 2. never plan on going to the fucking south side to risk their lives.

Until then, same Batshit time, same Batshit channel.

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Bethlehem Pays 20 K to Man For Obvious Statement

Jeeeesus Christ. Bethlehem, next time you need some advice on your fucking shitty south side and want to pony up $20,000 for it, my e-mail address is clearly visible on this page.

You heard right, the city paid 20 K to some dude to assess the south side and he came back with “people don’t feel safe on the side streets, do something about that.”

Are you fucking SERIOUS?

To those who love south Bethlehem, it’s easy to enjoy a stroll past the eclectic, early 20th century buildings and funky shops and restaurants sprinkled along Third and Fourth streets.

But to an outside planning expert, that downtown lacks one thing: ”knuckles,” the side streets that connect the main drags of the downtown.

While Third and Fourth streets provide a dynamic walk, the streets that connect them lack interest and, in some places, don’t feel safe. There are parking lots that should be storefronts and vacant buildings that need a face-lift. In fact, nationally known planner Jeff Speck said New Street, which runs into the Fahy Bridge, is really the only good connection.

”It’s hard to walk between Third and Fourth streets,” Speck said.

So Speck is recommending the city pay closer attention to making those connections feel safer to pedestrians and more interesting. The recommendations were part of a presentation Speck held Wednesday before more than 100 people at Lehigh University's Zoellner Arts Center in Bethlehem.

Bethlehem paid Speck $20,000 for assessment on how the city could improve its walkability. During a weeklong tour of the city in March, Speck scoured the city’s tree-lined streets for ways to make the city more inviting to pedestrians.
Source

*Raises hand*

OH OH PICK ME!!!

How about you get rid of the fucking drug addled houses that are probably funded by HUD and the people in them who have guns and shoot each other.

OH OH OH OH OHOHOH ONE MORE

How about you put an increased police presence on Fourth and Third streets when the bars let out, if you didn’t know, it’s around 2 a.m.

OH OH OH OH OHOHOHO OH OH OH OH O H

And, how about you put some cops out on patrol like, at night, on foot or bicycles, instead of the daytime when no one is fucking doing anything illegal because it’s in the daytime!??!!?

I am going to bill you $60K. Thanks, fuck that was easy.

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Pfizer Making Sure The Homeless Can Still Get it Up

Public Health Notice: Do NOT take Viagara if you don’t need it. I’m not talking from PERSONAL experience. I’m just saying, don’t do it. (Tons of Chaffage)

I’m not a huge fan of prescription medicine. I mean, sure some people need it to fucking live, but anytime I take anything I feel all fucked up. I dunno, maybe it’s what I was prescribed, but I just have a big distrust in general for the stupid pharmeceutical companies because they just want you to be sick so they can pretend cure you. I mean, if they did their job the best they could then they would be essentially putting themselves out of business. How can you trust a company with that truth?

Anyway, for the homeless and unemployed, at least you can still get an erection. What you’re going to do with it? Not my problem, but don’t have sex with my McDonald’s milkshake…

 Pfizer Inc.says it will provide 70 of its most widely prescribed prescription drugs — including Lipitor and Viagra — for free to people who have lost their jobs and health insurance.

The world’s biggest drugmaker said Thursday it will give away the medicines for up to a year to Americans who lost jobs since Jan. 1 and have been on the Pfizer drug for three months or more.

The announcement comes amid massive job losses caused by the recession and a campaign in Washington to rein in health care costs and extend coverage. The move could earn Pfizer some goodwill in that debate after long being a target of critics of drug industry prices and sales practices.
Source

That makes sense to me. I mean, if I was unemployed and I couldn’t even get an erection, we’re talking “THIS” close to jumping off the Eigth Street Bridge. Good news for a lot of you out there.

My friend saw this and quickly arranged to purchase www.bumswithboners.com because, why the fuck not? There are going to be a lot of them out there now.

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Seatbelts are for Quitters

When I was little, probably about six-years-old, I was with my grandmother in the supermarket and one of the stock boys, or whatever the fuck they are called, was in a wheelchair. I was like, “Why is that dude in a wheelchair?” And my grandma was like “Don’t fucking stare at the dude in the wheelchair or you don’t get any starfruit and Snickers.”

Turns out, the guy was in a car accident and he had his seatbelt on or he would have died. That’s the good news. The bad news is he had his seatbelt on and when the car wrecked it severed something in his spine or whatever (the belt did) and so that left him without the use of his legs.

I’m not sayin, just saying.

Pennsylvania State Police are encouraging all drivers to buckle up for safety with increased enforcement of state seat belt laws.

Troopers from Troop M, Bethlehem, will be patrolling Lehigh, Northampton and Bucks counties more stringently from Monday through May 31. The goal is to boost the state’s 85.6 percent seat belt use rate and reduce fatalities. A special emphasis will be placed on young drivers.

Over the past few years, police have seen a significant increase in seat belt use, but crashes remain the leading cause of death for people ages 3 through 33, according to a news release.

In addition to putting lives at risk, failure to adhere to the seat belt laws could result in two tickets. Source

Eh, I don’t really care about the seatbelt thing. Parents should put belts on their bratty little fucking kids, but if you don’t want to wear one, whatever. I mean, last time I checked the stats for people killing other people by busting throught their windshields and then hitting someone else were pretty low.

It’s your life, buddddddy.

P.S. The guy in the picture up there is totally fucking faking it.

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