The Lehigh Valley. Allentown, Bethlehem, Easton and everything, and everyone, in-between.
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Priest Unsurprisingly Molested Someone

Does anyone even trust priests anymore? Seems like you can be nice to one and you invite them to your kid’s birthday party and, before you know it, they are boning some 7-year-old in the bathroom.

Do you have to be a child molestor to be a priest or is it a result of the job? I mean, it happens WAYYY too much to just be a coincidence. No denying this people, it’s fucking fact.

Oh, and if your priests rapes you, kids, TELL SOMEONE right away WHO IS NOT involved with your church. The reason being is that people will defend a priest if it means they still get to get into heaven, even if you’re raped twice a week.

As a 12-year old, Sharon Tell was part of a devout Catholic family that routinely attended Mass at Notre Dame Church in Bethlehem.

The family was so close to the Rev. James J. McHale, their parish priest, that he routinely visited them after they moved to
Delaware and he became a monsignor.

But McHale was no friend, sexually molesting Tell from age 12 to 32, a lawsuit filed Wednesday against the Diocese of Allentown alleges.

”For years I have just wanted the church to hear me,” she said at a news conference in Allentown. ”I said, ‘This is the man who is raping me and sexually abusing me,’ and they said, ‘It’s your word against his,’ and they believed him. They just didn’t want to believe what I had to say.”

Tell had no legal recourse until 2007, she said, when Delaware passed a law opening a two-year window to file cases otherwise barred by a statute of limitations. That window closes in July. In Pennsylvania, victims must file within two years of an offense or by their 20th birthday.

The diocese issued a statement saying it ”has not seen a copy of this lawsuit and thus cannot comment specifically.”
Source

Not QUITE sure how you molest a 32-year old unless they are confined to a wheelchair or something.

So, sucks for this lady. Seriously, early bird catches the worm and stops getting molested. Oh, this just occurred to me, this priest molested a CHICK!!!

I thought they just went after the little altar boys?

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Hate MAIL!!!!

YES!!! I love when I’m going to hell…

I got a hate comment this morning at 4:11 a.m.! Why the fuck are you up that early?

NOSTATIC <lovie_gray@yahoo.com> (unregistered) wrote:

YOU ARE SICK ITS AN INNOCENT PERSON LIFE ON THE LINE I CAN TELL YOU ARE A SICK PERSON WITH NO REGARDS TO LIFE MAY YOU SEEK THE LORD SOON
(in regards to this post)

I think I have the utmost regards for life, that’s why I was commenting about their names. Not my fault you’re googling them this early in the morning and then yelling at ME! Lot of good your stupid praying did you if everybody’s dead.

And I’m not seeking the lord. It’s his turn and he never realizes I’m hiding behind the fucking couch. (Seriously, I’m RIGHT there.)

I’m just saying.

No, she doesn’t have a facebook page. I looked.

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Easton Mother Shoots from the (Baby) Hip

This is all speculation, but from what I’ve have seen, woman who give birth immediately gain like an extra arm: their hips. They can just swivel them all over the place, put babies on them, shut fridges with them, open beer bottles with them and turn off the lights from across the room.

It’s some form of monkey DNA that just got lost in the shuffle. It’s amazing. And don’t FUCK with a mom who stands in front of you, hand on one hip and her lips all like “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?”

OH, if she has a gun, you’re pretty dead.

An Easton woman has admitted she shot and killed the father of her baby after finding out he was involved with another woman.

Yolanda Cardona, 26, pleaded guilty Tuesday to third-degree murder in the death of 29-year-old Harsun Cherry. She faces a minimum of six to 20 years in prison when sentenced in August by Judge Anthony Beltrami. She could get an additional 71/2 years for using a deadly weapon, said Assistant District Attorney Jacqueline Taschner.

Cardona was in her car following Renee Rusnock of Bethlehem Township, who had recently given birth to triplets fathered by Cherry. When Rusnock got out of her car, Cardona pulled Rusnock’s hair and confronted her about her relationship with Cherry.

Cherry tried to talk to Cardona in the apartment with Rusnock and another woman who was there. Rusnock and Cherry walked out of the apartment and moments later Cardona came out with the baby on her hip and a gun in her hand. As Cherry walked away, Cardona shot him in the back.
Source

Man women be crazy! So THAT’S How you handle your problems in Easton? OF course it is.

Now, think for a moment about that kid, the gun being fired… etc.

Oh, i will be indisposed at a certain senior festival today. So, feel free to email me hate mail or just kinda write mean things about me in the comments section. Then we can maybe get a drink at five? Surely.

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Five Points McDonald’s is Valley’s Scariest

The McDonalds at Five Points in South Bethlehem (map here) has GOT to be one of the scariest late-night eating places in the Lehigh Valley, without question. There used to be a Wendy’s on Hamilton at about 11th in Allentown, but that was a good six (fuck, six?) years ago.

So, the Five Points McDonald’s was originally heralded as a great addition to the south side, especially since it was being built in that old style 1950s fashion, which, for whatever it’s worth, blended in OK with the rest of the older neighborhood.

And, the place is fine during the day. It’s when the sun goes down that you just do not fucking go there. It’s playing Russian Roulette for a fucking Big Mac.

A Bethlehem police officer was bitten Monday night during a struggle with a man who refused to leave a McDonald’s.

Police said the suspect, Glenn Davis, 53, of Charleston, S.C., remains in St. Luke’s Hospital-Fountain Hill from injuries suffered during his arrest. A nursing supervisor had no information available on his condition.

Bethlehem police officer Michael Ogrodnick was bit once in the arm and was treated and released from the hospital.

According to police:

Shortly before 8:30 p.m., police were called to McDonald’s, 448 Wyandotte.

Police said Davis had been told by a manager to not return to the restaurant and employees told police Davis was refusing to leave.

When officers tried to escort him, Davis grabbed onto a door handle and kicked and spit at officers before biting Ogrodnick.

Davis is charged with aggravated assault on a police officer, simple assault, reckless endangerment, resisting arrest, harassment, disorderly conduct and criminal trespass.
Source

Drug deals routinely happen across and even in the fucking street. There are always people milling about and a cop car is there EVERY fucking night just sitting in the parking lot waiting for someone to apparently start biting everything.

I prefer my fast food joints up on Stefko Blvd. It’s safe up there. EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT IT’S NEAR STEVE RUSSO’S HOUSE OF LOVE!!!

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Local Lawyer on the Lam

Well, this guy’s life is officially fucked.

Brett J. Lennert (facebook page here) is a Lehigh County lawyer (business Web site here) who, apparently, passed the bar and figured he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

Besides driving on a suspended license and doing cocaine (and getting caught) in a local hotel room (who does that? people with hookers do that), Brett J. Lennert didn’t show up to court to “defend” his clients. The judge was NOT too happy.

A local attorney who recently admitted to a cocaine charge in Lehigh County faces a bench warrant and the loss of his clients for failing to show for legal proceedings in another courthouse on Monday.

Brett J. Lennert, 31, of Bethlehem was sentenced Thursday in Allentown to a year of probation plus community service after pleading guilty to misdemeanor possession of a controlled substance.

Lennert was to be in Northampton County Court on Monday on behalf of four clients. He was also supposed to be there on another set of charges against him, for rear-ending a car last year in Bethlehem while allegedly driving with a suspended license.

Northampton County Judge Stephen Baratta called for a bench warrant to bring Lennert in, and the county court appointed another attorney to take over his pending cases in Easton.

”These are people who have apparently paid money to be represented and haven’t been,” Northampton Court Administrator James Onembo said.

In Lehigh County, police charged Lennert after they found two small lines of white powder and a rolled-up dollar bill in a hotel room where he was staying in June, according to court records.

In Northampton County, Lennert rear- ended another car on Linden Street, sending three people to the hospital, police say.
Source

So, he’s got two options here, I guess: 1. Run. 2. Face the music.

Looks like he has a kid, so running would be a dickish move, then again, doing drugs while also putting his future (and income) at risk probably also fucked with his kid’s future as well.

Why the FUCK would a lawyer still have an open facebook profile? I’m seriously confused about that.

Oh, he went to Widener Law School. THAT explains everything.

On another note, I have SO MUCH to fucking do the rest of this week. I’m trying to cram as much in as possible now.

I took too many excedrin this morning, too. Can you die from that? Just sayin’

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Be Original When Naming Your Babies

I have no problem with crazy names. In fact, I think it’s more interesting when you’re name is something kinda original. Like, when I was in my early teens, I was fascinated with the name “Xavier.” I think the whole idea of having an “X” in your name just made you this much closer to being a comic book character or something. Being creative with names is fun. A lot of celebs get ridiculed for it, but fuck that, I’d rather be named “Apple” than “Sam.”

My only problem is when parents just fuck up the spelling of a name in order to somehow be original. So, you could be “Allison” or “Alyson” or “Alisun” or “Alleson” or “Stupid girl who is going to lose EVERY FUCKING SPELLING BEE EVER.” I think I have personally met 25 different versions of the name Allison. Ugh.

What’s the point of fucking up the spelling? You’re just going to create literally MONTHS of time in a person’s life of them spending time going “no, it’s with an ‘e’” or whatever. Just so it looks good on a driver’s license or a diploma or something? It’s going to get misspelled more times than not, so essentially, you’re not even giving them a name, just making their whole life a big fucking jumble of identity searching. Good Job Lakisha.

Anyhoo, the guys in this story have some top notch, first rate, names. You can’t go wrong with Hakim or Julio “Angel.”

A jury of seven women and five men were chosen for the murder trial of Hakim Abdul Wakeel, which is scheduled to begin Tuesday.

Wakeel, of Philadelphia, is standing trial for his alleged role in a July 26, 2007, Wyandotte Street shooting that killed Daniel Luis Rivera of Tampa, Fla., and wounded James Garcia of Bethlehem.

Police are still searching for Angel “Chucho” Echevarria and an unidentified man who went to rob Garcia at his home. Julio Angel Lopez of Bethlehem also is awaiting trial for the murder of Rivera.

Wakeel is facing charges of homicide, attempted homicide, four counts of robbery with serious bodily injury and two counts of aggravated assault and conspiracy. Source

Awesome names, it’s like a Hispanic version of Dick Tracy villians.

I know nothing about this story other than it happened on the South Side, the guy is probably guilty and why the fuck are you coming into the Lehigh Valley from other cities to kill each other, just do it there, save the gas money, seriously.

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DeSales University Will Get You Blazed

DeSales University (which my track coach in college called “Senior year with ashtrays) used to be called Allentown College, but then they went about changing their name around 2002 or 2001 or whenever. They went from the Allentown College Centaurs (wince! what a nickname) to the DeSales University Bulldogs (considering how integral Bulldogs were to the settling of Center Valley.)

I had a buddy that went there, but I never really partied there, partly because the school fucking blows. I think I remember there being some rule that a girl couldn’t be in a dude’s room with the door shut (simple fix, put up a sheet. It’s all semantics, kids. Door open? Yeah my door is open, dick.) I guess that doesn’t beat the “rumor” however, about Messiah College that if a girl and a guy were in a room together, their feet had to be on the ground at all times (another simple fix, face the wall!)

Sigh, they do have some pretty cool corn trails at DeSales. That’s cool? I guess.

Oh, and you can get freaking BLAZED out there too.

A 22-year-old man was charged this morning with selling marijuana to an undercover officer at DeSales University, according to court records.

Richard R. Sagl, of 4532 Calvert Place, Center, Valley, was charged with criminal use of a communication facility, possession with intent to deliver marijuana and possession of marijuana. He was arraigned before District Judge Rod Beck this morning and sent to
Lehigh County Prison under $10,000 bail.

Upper Saucon police say that an undercover officer called Sagl’s cell phone on April 8 and arranged to buy marijuana from him. That same day, Sagl arrived at the university and police found marijuana in plain view in his car and a search revealed more marijuana in a book bag.
Source

You can get a view of Richard R. Sagl here. His profile is private, but apparently he doesn’t have a problem driving around with weed out on the dashboard. He looks like he smokes the doobies, doesn’t he?

I don’t want to get into a huge ganja argument, but this guy was sent to prison? Seriously? He’s selling fucking plants. If he was selling some heroin or kiddie porn then maybe I can see sending him to prison. But, honestly, is what he is selling more dangerous than a kid buying cigarettes down the street? Or going over to the Copperhead Grille and tying one on before coming back to the dorm to have sex with….whatever … girls … are at DeSales?

Ugh, I just made myself shiver…

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Bull Captured, Will Die Soon Probably

I’m a BIT late on this one, but since I use my weekends to drink heavily and hang out with shady ladies, I’m just getting to it now.

Our friend, the bull who escaped from New Jersey, crossed the Delaware River and then played “I’m a fucking bull in a city and you can’t find me, stupid cops” was caught.

The bull’s name is “Yellow 98” because it had a yellow tag with the number “98” on it. Sounds great, why don’t you just not give it a name at all instead of patronizing its existence with what essentially comes to the number in order of which it’s probably going to be killed?

Two New Jersey Division of Fish and Wildlife officers apparently shot an errant bull with a tranquilizer shortly after 3 o’clock this afternoon on the Ingersoll-Rand tract in Phillipsburg.

The bull, which escaped Wednesday night from a pen outside Phillipsburg High School and has since traversed the Delaware River twice, then disappeared into thick brush. The officers, joined by Phillipsburg police, went into the brush to find the animal and had not emerged as of 3:55. Source

Whatever, I’m actually sad that it wasn’t saved by some fucking hippies and brought to their “camp” or something. This is a shitty kinda end to this story, don’t you think? No one even got trampled. They didn’t even bring in some bull fighting spaniard to take him out.

What’s next for the bull? No one will say, which means it probably dies or something.

The bull also needs a new name. I’m voting for “Rowdy Randy McGee.”

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Lehigh Student Refuses to use Karate Skills

A Lehigh student was robbed by an super cool gang of bicycle riding teens on the South Side (surprise) of Bethlehem. And, it sounds fucking awesome.

I know that these are teenagers, but it makes it more fun, in my mind, to imagine them like the kids that rampage through the streets of that European city in Hostel (remember? they could be appeased with candy.)

I’m a little disappointed with this student, however, since he sounds like he should be supplying the cans of ass whooping.

A Lehigh University student was robbed last night by a group of teens armed with guns, Bethlehem police said.

The victim, 26-year-old Xiang Zhou, 26, of Bethlehem, was not injured in the attack in a parking lot in the 300 block of Cress Street.

According to police:

Shortly before 9 p.m., Zhou told police he was walking in the area when he was surrounded by a group of eight to 10 teens who surrounded him. Two teens in the group flashed handguns and demanded cash.

Zhou said one person reached into his pockets and stole his cell phone before the group dispersed.

He said the teens were between the ages of 13 and 17 and all wore dark clothes. Two of the teens in the group were riding bicycles.
Source

Did Xiang Zhou (facebook page here) hear some foreboding music when he stepped into the parking lot? And then he saw like, ONE teenage gang banger and he thought to himself “OH, I can take this one punk.” And then all the others came and two of them were circling him the whole time on their BMX bikes?

See, if my name was Xiang Zhou I would assume that I knew super karate before I was even born (all Asian people know karate, right? The 80s taught me this.) I wonder why he didn’t just kill them all. Was he holding back? Did he just want to save it for next time?

Well, go ask him yourself. Oh man! He’s got some hot friends!!!

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Local Judge Hopeful Has Awful Name

Or could it be a good one? I’m not sure yet.

Either way, we know one thing, Candy Barr Heimbach’s parents sure hated her, or at least wanted to have fun every time they called her in for dinner. Candy Barr is running for Northampton County Judge, apparently against the Gummi Bears. Jesus.

Seriously? This isn’t an accident. Her parent’s named her “Candy Barr.” I’m assuming “Heimbach” is her married last name.

Some of her best attributes include:

  • BA Psychology and Elementary Education, Moravian College, Magna Cum Laude.
  • Former teacher in the Bethlehem Area School District.
  • JD the Dickinson School of Law.
  • As well as melting in the sun, making kids fat and never ceasing to be teased relentlessly for the first 18 fuck that, she’s probably STILL getting teased for this name.

    She has to have the best sense of humor ever. (Candy, call me, we’ll do dinner)

    I hope she wins at whatever she’s running for.

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    STUPIDEST THING EVER I HATE IT FOREVER!!!

    I just wrote a whole fucking blog about how Allentown has cameras downtown and they are leading to arrests and then my fucking Internet blew up and everything was erased and I’m not fucking rewriting it. I think it sucked, but I DID somehow manage to sneak Sandra Bullock in there and I was putting  her picture in when everything crashed, so…. fuck you Miss Congeniality.

    Anyhoo, everyone is officially losing their fucking minds. I say this without a hint of sarcasm. Swine Flu Fever? Bulls Fording the Delaware? American Idol is still on television? A lost dog at a bus station is FUCKING NEWS?

    Seriously. I’m posting the whole fucking thing so you can read it in all it’s fucking glorious SHIT FUCK. NO WONDER no one is buying stupid newspapers anymore. I want to read about fucking war and death and dead people warring and F-14 Tomcats crashing into the equator and ROBOTS killing kittens with butterknives! Not this shit.

    A German shepherd mix dog enjoyed a few hours of constant petting and attention this morning from employees and passengers of LANTA’s Allentown bus terminal.

    Bus driver Christina Tiffany-Johnson first spotted the dog walking north on N. 7th Street near Hamilton Street toward the 7-Eleven convenience store. She said it paused for traffic and then crossed the street before continuing toward the LANTA bus terminal on N. 6th Street.

    Tiffany-Johnson said she called the station from her bus so others at the terminal could secure the dog because she was afraid he would be hit by a vehicle. “I’m an animal lover by nature,” Tiffany-Johnson said. “You can tell he’s well taken care of. He needs his home.”

    Although technically the dog must be lost, security officer Terri Berger says, “He found us.”

    Once at the bus terminal, he was tied to a bench amid waiting passengers. The male dog has no collar, only a constant wagging tail and a greeting for everyone who passes or pauses to him. Although as large as an adult German shepherd, everyone seemed to agree he was barely past his puppy days.

    "Everybody goes right up to him. Nobody seems afraid," bus driver Doris Jandrisevitz said. "A couple people said he should be the LANTA mascot."

    One of LANTA’s bus drivers offered to take him home because he already has a dog and lives on a one-acre property equipped with an electronic dog fence, Berger said. But she wants to give the original owner a chance to claim him.

    She planned to drop him at the Humane Society shelter on Dixon Street in Allentown
    . Source

    I’m very happy this dog may or may not find a fucking home. I’m sooo fucking happy that it got pet “constantly” today. WHAT? THAT IS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A FUCKING DOG THAT GOT PET AT A BUS STATION.

    WHAt THE FUCKKEKEKDKD????

    "He should be the Lanta mascot." WHY? Because he walked up to the fucking bus station where people probably drop food all the time and are homeless and smell like carrion? Do you think he wants to be your fucking mascot? What the fuck is he going to do? Fucking bark people to their next destination?

    "I’m an animal lover by nature." WHAT THE FUCK does that even MEAN? What nature? Did you pop out of your mom’s vagina and go "OH SHIT I LOVE DOGS!!!" What THE SHITSTICK are you talking about?

    One of the LANTA bus drivers lives on an acre of land with a dog fence, but he can’t take the dog because he wants the original owner to claim him. OK, great, THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN BRING IT UP??? WHAT THE FUCK? IS THIS ALL A BIG FUCKING JOKE?

    FUCKING PEOPLE WHAT THE FUCK. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TURN THE LIGHTS OFF WHEN THEY LEAVE? SHIT. FUCK. SHIT FUCK YOU. FUCK FUCK.

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    District Judge’s Facebook Profile a Bit Suspect

    Does it bother anyone else that Bethlehem District Judge James Stocklas has a public Facebook page, on which he talks about drinking and cuddling? I mean, sure, he can do whatever the fuck he wants, he’s a judge, but maybe someone should tell him to make it private. Shit like that will come back to bite you in the ass.

    I mean, the man’s son tried to sue the city of Bethlehem, and dropped the suit, and it was revealed that Stocklas Jr. had to be admitted for drug rehab. Again, nothing terribly wrong with that and it happens, but I’m just saying, would you really want to even TRY and open yourself up for the potential backlash of something like this? I’m just sayin’

    Oh, and I kinda don’t want the idea of any old man, judge or not, looking to cuddle.

    James Frank Stocklas my son-in law needs help to quell his hang-over….he thinks i have experienced the feeling once before….not….just remain drinking, it’s the cure all.

    April 5 at 12:23pm 

    Kellie Stocklas Wheeler Happy birthday to the uncle who taught me how to tap and keg and pour a good beer….lifelong skill that is. Love ya!

    March 17 at 7:47pm  

    James Frank Stocklas is looking to cuddle

    February 3 at 7:25pm 

    James Frank Stocklas is getting ready to go have a drink….too many jabronies today.

    January 27 at 4:06pm

    I’m not going to rip on this guy too much, because from everything I’ve ever heard about him, he’s a very nice man. But, someone tell him to make his profile private to only his friends before some douche gets out of a mugging because of something Stocklas posted on his profile.

    On another hand, it does make me feel a bit more comfortable knowing that if I ever had to step in front of this guy, I would at least know he likes to get his drink on too.

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    Tons of Lesbians to Come to Valley and Hump

    Ok, well, remember how I brought up the point that there were all sorts of stupid animals being all fucking gay and shit? Well, surprise, surprise somehow that became an article in a local newspaper.

    Coincidence? Not fucking likely. Doucheplagarizers.

    Anyhoo, the bull? Totally in New Jersey again, according to reports or something. And, since it’s in New Jersey, maybe, no one gives a fuck. I still want to find it, though. Soooo, if you’re not doing anything around five?

    So, there will be a record amount of lesbians in town this summer. I’m talking like five bazillion lesbians. How is the Stonewall going to hold everyone?

    Nearly 1,300 women have entered to play in the 2009 U.S. Women’s Open, but only 156 will earn an invitation to Saucon Valley Country Club in July.

    The United States Golf Association received a record 1,278 entries for this year’s Women’s Open, scheduled for July 9-12 at Saucon’s Old Course. The previous record was 1,251, set in 2007 for the Women’s Open at Pine Needles in
    North Carolina.

    Last week, the USGA announced a record 9,086 players had entered to play in the men’s
    U.S. Open at Bethpage Black on Long Island.

    ”We are thrilled to have received a record number of entries for
    the U.S. Women’s Open,” Mike Davis, USGA senior director of rules and competitions, said in a statement. ”It is very gratifying to have increased participation at our championships, particularly from international players. More players going through the qualifying process helps ensure we have the strongest fields possible at our championships.” Source

    Oh, for the record. If you play any position other than outfield in softball, you are a lesbian. If you bowl, for any reason other than the fact that you are drunk or are at an 8-year-old’s birthday party: you’re a lesbian. If you play golf and you aren’t naked: totally lesbian. If you like to watch the NCAA women’s basketball tournament, you also probably like to gnaw on roast beef.

    There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian, unless you are ugly.

    I’m just saying.

    I love lesbians just as much as the next guy, I’m just concerned is all.

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    Ninja Bull Still Evading Corrupt Easton Police

    So, they still haven’t caught this bull. And it really tells you something when a man getting shot in Allentown is FAR less exciting than this missing fucking cattle.

    So, let’s backtrack. Bull gets free from some sort of science experiment farm show at Phillipsburg High School and then swims across the Delaware. (I want you to try that, and you have fucking arms, this thing has hooves…) THEN it tries to get a hoagie at Wawa only to get scared away by some police who obviously don’t know that you’re supposed to kinda “corral” the fucking thing so it can’t run back the way it came.

    NOW, just so that no one is worried, they are just saying that’s “totally in New Jersey, so forget about it.”

    When an animal weighs a couple hundred pounds, has four legs and is black, it’s not real easy to find (Ed. note: I found your wife though, SNAP!!!) — especially in the wee hours of the morning in the rain,” (Phillipsburg Superintendent Mark Miller) said.

    A supervisor with Northampton County Control said the bull was briefly spotted in Easton on Cattell Street, but he jumped over a fence and headed back to Jersey and hasn’t been seen since.

    Miller said there’s no need for residents to fear, but school officials hope to find the bull unharmed and return him to his pen.

    Anyone who spots the bull on this side of the
    Delaware River may call Easton Police at 610-250-6661. Source

    WTF? Since when is a School District Superintedent, incidentally one with the most boooooring name ever (really he couldn’t be BROCK MILLER or BLAKE MILLER), qualified to talk about bulls? Like, shouldn’t he be worried about the fact that no kid has ever graduated from a high school in New Jersey EVER? Like, that would be on my list of things to get fucking done today. Gradaute someone, seriously, ANYBODY.

    For Fuck’s sake, man.

    And, you have to admire the sheer ASSHOLEness of the Northampton County Control supervisor: “Oh, he just jumped over a fence headed to New Jersey and hasn’t been seen since. Seriously, no worries. It’s all good. Go get your free KFC from Oprah you fat United Staters!”

    Really? That’s all you fucking got? Because if this fucking bull has Swine Herpes, I swear to fucking God I’m going to be pretty fucking pissed off if it shows up in my backyard and is fucking my German Shepherd.. are you picking up what I’m laying down here?

    Seriously, someone find the fucking bull already.

    I WOULD PAY MONEY to hear some of the phone calls that are coming into the Easton PD today. Seriously.

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    Crazy Allentown Woman Brought in to Find Escaped Easton Bull

    Sooo, apparently the bull is still on the loose and as much fun as that headline would be if it was true, it isn’t :( But, keep reading anyway, I got some goodies for you.

    Easton isn’t exactly the Scottish Highlands, is it THAT hard to find a fucking BULL in College Hill? Well, if I went to college at Lafayette, which, thankfully, I didn’t, because living on the top of the plateau and looking down on that sad sack of a city would have led me to drinking a lot sooner than regular life did, I would totally have already caught the bull and hidden him somewhere and then presumably used him for stuff that probably wouldn’t be accepted on Youtube.

    Or we’d just have one HELL of a barbeque…know what I’m saying?

    Anyway, over on the OTHER side of the kingdom, Allentown is pretty much having a status quo kinda day.

    A 23-year-old woman being arrested for domestic disturbance early this morning headbutted an Allentown police officer as he attempted to place her in his patrol car, authorities said.

    Amber Love Breeland, whose face was bloodied from an altercation at her S. Fifth Street apartment, also cursed at the officer Dean D. Flyte following the headbutt, according to court documents. Flyte suffered pain and redness to his nose, police said.

    Earlier, Allentown police had been called to 602 S. Fifth St., on a report of a domestic disturbance at 12:53 a.m. this morning. James McMonigle told police that Breeland scratched him in the chest and displayed a large red scratch to the officers, according to court records.

    While police were still at the apartment, Breeland struck McMonigle in the face twice and she was arrested, police said. Flyte was attempting to place her in his patrol car when she headbutted him, police said.

    She was charged with aggravated assault on an officer, simple assault, harassment, disorderly conduct and possession of a small amount of marijuana, which was found in plain view in her apartment. Source

    Who does NOT want a girlfriend like that? Fuck, she could take down the bull by herself. See, you know when two cities are just NOT communicating with each other. Fuck, let this lady loose in Easton and the two crazy animals are going to sniff each other out eventually and then HEAD BUTT the fuck out of each other until one is the winner. The other gets slaughtered. Problem solved and we get some entertainment out of it.

    Oh, note for thought: When calling the PoPo, whether you live there or not, hide your pot. Knowing is half the fucking battle.

    Oh, and just so we’re up to date here, in the last two days in New Jersey there has been a report of a Coyote eating a dog and a bull escaping by swimming across a fucking river.

    Just sayin’

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