Former Coopersburg Manager Charged $15K on Borough Credit Card (FACEBOOK PROFILE)

The only people who can try and commit a crime like, say, stealing someone’s credit card and then using it, and not expect to get arrested are senior citizens and children under the age of 11.

Why? Because it’s pretty common knowledge nowadays that ALL transactions are traceable. So, the fact that someone would use a credit card belonging to their place of work, in the case the borough of Coopersburg, and NOT expect them to realize that there is a $15,000 discrepancy is either slightly mentally challenged or just really didn’t care.

Dawn Kresge, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) Coopersburg’s former borough manager, is charged with access device fraud, theft by unlawful, and receiving stolen property after allegedly using a borough credit card to pay almost $15,000 in expenses.

The Lehigh County District Attorney’s office has charged Former Coopersburg borough manager Dawn Kresge with access device fraud, theft by unlawful taking or disposition and receiving stolen property after allegedly using a borough credit card for personal expenses. 

Kresge resigned abruptly as borough manager in February, citing new a new job opportunity. She was arrested this morning and was released on $15,000 unsecured bail. 

Cooperburg Borough Manager and former mayor Tim Paashaus declined to comment for the article.  SOURCE: Upper Saucon Patch

She doesn’t LOOK like the steal money from your employer type, but that’s just because I was brought up to think that meek, blonde ladies always told the truth.

$15,000 is a LOT of money and I don’t think she did this all in one shot. So, she had to KNOW for each of these expenses that it was going to come back to get here. 

Man Tries to Avoid DUI Checkpoint by Using “Batman Mode.” Fails. (FACEBOOK PROFILE)

“Batman Mode” is when you are driving along in your car at night and turn off all the lights so that you are a rolling, dangerous, and undetectable vehicle.

It works in the movies, but, not really in real life. It’s more fun to do just to freak out the people who are riding with you.

This isn’t even the first time we’ve featured someone using “Batman Mode.”

It’s also a good way to get attention from the popo.

A 25-year-old Lower Macungie Township man tried and failed to avoid a DUI checkpoint early Saturday morning, turning off his lights in an attempt to avoid detection, according to Bethlehem police.

Mark Saylor, 25, (FACEBOOK PROFILE) of the 2600 block of Rolling Green Drive, was driving about 1:22 a.m. Saturday toward a checkpoint on Route 412 on the South Side, police say. As Saylor neared the stop, he allegedly made an illegal left turn to steer clear of authorities.

Police say Saylor pulled into a parking lot on Commerce Center Boulevard and turned off his headlights, but police had already noticed him.

Authorities caught up with him in the parking lot and found him to be under the influence of alcohol, according to police.

Saylor was charged with drunken driving, making an illegal turn, driving under the influence of a high rate of alcohol, driving without lights to avoid detection and failure to use proper turning signals. SOURCE: The Express-Times

If I was a cop working the DUI checkpoint, I’d want to be assigned to the “look for dudes pulling off the side of the road” duty. That has to be much more fun and you don’t have to directly deal with the drunkards, just chase them down and roll up on them and be like, “WASSUP fool?”

This guy tried his damndest though. 

Phillipsburg Woman Can’t Fly American Flag at Her Apartment (Relax)

Being patriotic is great. I’m patriotic. I love the country I live in.

A lot of people REALLY love America and hate everyone who isn’t American, for the most part, that’s called Nationalism.

Now, here is a story where everything gets all jumbled because people start throwing around words like “patriotic” and “respect” and blah blah blah.

A Phillipsburg Housing Authority resident claims the agency is taking away her constitutional right to fly the American flag.

Dawn Paulus has refused to take down three American flags hanging from her balcony at the John F. O’Donnell Apartments after housing authority officials have asked for them to be removed.

“They told me I can’t have the American flag up, because someone else might hang up a Nazi flag,”Paulus said.“They’ve sent a maintenance man over to take it down, but I didn’t let him take it down.”

Phillipsburg Housing Authority Executive DirectorPaul Rummerfield said he asked Paulus to remove her flags because they violate her lease agreement.

“It’s not about the American flag,”Rummerfield said, noting it’s also not an issue of patriotism or respect for veterans.“It’s about lease enforcement and how we have to adhere to federal laws and safety rules.”

Rummerfield said the lease states tenants shall not hang anything on the balcony out of safety and discrimination concerns.

“If the screw isn’t cranked down tight enough, the flag holder could fall down and hit somebody walking underneath,” Rummerfield said.  SOURCE: The Express-Times

I get the fact that the Housing Authority is probably being hypocritcal because I’m sure they don’t enforce EVERYthing in their leases. However, this is just stupid and it’s a story only because the woman now looks like some sort of awesome hero because she’s standing up for her country and blah blah blah.

You’re not allowed to hang things off the balcony in this unit. If she doesn’t like that, she shouldn’t have signed the lease and she can move to somewhere where she can hang whatever she wants out her window.

Say I want to tie an 80 foot American flag to the back of my car and I get pulled over. Um, yeah, sure I’m making a patriotic statement, but it’s not exactly within the confines of the law to do that. But, then the cops are commie bastards.

Ugh.

People can really misconstrue things very easily. This is not about the American flag. At all. What if she was hanging the Norwegian flag out there? People would be like, “TAKE DOWN THAT NORSE CRAP!”

Everyone needs to take some deep breaths.

Man Arrested for Stealing Coins from Easton Center Square Fountain

I’m relatively sure Easton takes the coins that people throw into the fountain at Center Square and donates them somewhere.

Which makes sense. If a city was taking the coins that people where throwing into the fountain and using them to pay for road paving, or something, that’d seem a little odd.

I guess no more odd than it is to throw your money into a water receptacle based on the pretense that it will bring you your hopes and dreams.

This guy was just cutting out the middle man.

A 34-year-old Phillipsburg man faces a theft charge after he was collecting change from the fountain in Easton’s Centre Square, Easton police report.

James Trevis Yarnell, of the 100 block of Chambers Street, was found about 3:30 this morning soaking wet with change that he admitted taking from the fountain, police said.

He will be charged via summons, police said. He was released by police. SOURCE: The Express-Times

It was pretty hot this weekend. He may have just been looking to cool off. Or, he was jonesin’ and realized that there was a little kiddie pool in the middle of town that held change in it. 

Lots of change.

Wilson Man Hits Son Over Head with Plastic Patio Chair

You know it’s getting closer summer when the patio furniture is outside and Joe’s Tavern has their fancy outside seating set up.

You also know it’s getting closer to summer when people start doing ridiculous things in public.

A 34-year-old man Wilson Borough man is accused of hitting his son in the head Thursday night with a white plastic patio chair.

Police were called at 10:20 p.m. to the home of Bohannon Piazza in the 1600 block of Washington Street, according to court documents.

The boy told police his father hit him with the chair and cut the top of his head, police said. The boy needed medical treatment, records state.

Piazza was arraigned before District Judge Robert Hawke in Lehigh Township on charges of simple assault and harassment and released on $8,000 unsecured bail. SOURCE: The Express-Times

Bohannon Piazza? When I first read that I thought it was a street name.

Bohannon doesn’t exactly slide off the tongue.

Also, who is beating each other with plastic patio chairs? You may break them! And you know you’re going to regret that when winter rolls around and you need a chair to reserve that parking space you dug out.

Man Attacks Neighbor with Machete, then Shoots Himself in Head While Kids and Police Watch

If you have off of work today, you’re a jerk.

Three day weekends, or, in your case, four day weekends, are the best thing ever.

You wake up on Sunday and you go, “Hey, we get to play Saturday all over again!”

It’s almost as good as Good Friday.

And, while I don’t enjoy running stories about people getting dead, this… this was… interesting.

A man apparently robbed someone in the south side of Bethlehem with a machete and then, when the cops caught up to him, he decided it was a good time to shoot himself in the head with a rifle.

Bethlehem police said the armed man had allegedly attacked a neighbor with a machete during a robbery earlier at a South Side home and then shot himself in the head while being confronted by officers, according to a news release from city police.

Police said the alleged attacker placed a rifle to his head after fleeing to E. Fourth and Hayes streets, several blocks from the machete incident. Police said they asked the man several times to put down the rifle, but he fired it while pointing it at his head.

Police said the suspect is in critical condition at St. Luke’s University Hospital, and the victim is in serious condition.

Young said while there were many people in the area at the time of the shooting, she and others were able to keep children away from the armed man.

“I’ll tell you what,” Young said. “He meant business. Who knows what could have happened?” SOURCE: The Morning Call

“Young” up there is June Young, a crossing guard who saw the whole shebang go down and valiantly told kids to run to their mommies and not watch the man shoot himself in the head.

However, I think we know what could have happened… he shot himself in the face. Unless she meant that he could have just started shooting random people, which would have been much, much worse.

What’s the deal with crossing guards? Is that a full-time job? Do they freelance? 

Lehigh Valley Missed Connections of the Week (Gay Doing Your Dad)

Lehigh Valley Missed Connections of the Week brought to you by Townsend Insurance Agency, RMC Tech Mobile Repair, and Molly’s Irish Grille & Sports Pub!

If you haven’t watched the premiere episode of Lehigh Valley with Love Live, I’m embedding the hell out of it so you now must watch it.

Other than that? Come to Artsquests on Sunday night at 8 p.m. with us and watch the “Best of Craigslist” performed by The Associated Mess and The Flighty Ducks.

Basically, it’s like the stuff you’re just about to read… but live!

brew works wednesday night - w4m - 29 (allentown)

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Date: 2012-05-18, 8:41PM EDT
Reply to: 3fb3k-3024247881@pers.craigslist.org

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we chatted for a bit wednesday night at the allentown brew works… you were telling me all about your training.. you mentioned you were married.. were you just being friendly or was there a bit of an attraction? you’re very attractive.. write back and let me know what we chatted about :) 

“You mentioned you were married” so let me continue to try and eff you. Hey, I understand that the world is free game, but, if someone is married, game’s over. This isn’t because I’m some super Christian conservative, it’s just because it makes sense and you should respect someone who took the time to vow their life to someone else. Or you could hit them up on Craigslist. Whatevers.

Or you can appeal to them in ALL CAPS!

WALKING ON 191 - w4m - 26 (BETHLEHEM)

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Date: 2012-05-21, 12:34PM EDT
Reply to: 4krng-3028876131@pers.craigslist.org

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I WAS DRIVIN TO WORK THE OTHER DAY AND U WERE WALKIN ON 191 TOWARD BETHLEHEM U HAD SOME GROCERIES OR SOMETHING AND U LOOKED AT ME……I THINK LOL WELL U TURNED AROUND I JUST WANTED TO TELL U THAT U R SO SEXY AND IF I COULD GO BACK TO THAT MORNING I WOULD HAVE STOPPED……U PROBABLY DONT READ THESE ANYWAY BUT MAYBE U DO BC I DO LOL……..BUT IF U DO AND YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS I WOULD LIKE TO MEET U IF UR SINGLE IF NOT UR HOT AND HAVE A NICE DAY 

Once I realize someone is purposefully writing in all caps I stop listening. Or reading. Or caring about their welfare.

I am only putting this one in because it’s the first lesbian one I’ve seen in awhile.

petsplus - w4w (quakertown)

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Date: 2012-05-19, 10:29PM EDT
Reply to: kp5z6-3026274169@pers.craigslist.org

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I see you everytime I’m in there,you have blonde hair and you usually ring me up. Just wanted to say I think you’re beautiful and would love to take you out. Doubt youll see this but it’s worth a shot. 

And now, our Missed Connection of the week!

Single dad lives by high school - m4m - 18 (Blandon )

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Date: 2012-05-22, 5:30PM EDT
Reply to: fs2j5-3031832498@pers.craigslist.org

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Your are my friends dad (your a construction worker)your daughters name starts with a ‘B’ I have been her friend for a long time and i always think about doing stuff with you. I live near you email me your first name and I’ll tell you who this is if you wantto do something 

Dump Truck Runs into Hellertown Fire Station, Explodinates It

So.. yeah. Breaking news really isn’t our thing, but, it’s not every day that a dump truck runs into a fire station and explodes into flames…

Leithsville Volunteer Fire Company’s station near Hellertown went up in flames Thursday after a dump truck hauling asphalt crashed into the building and exploded, with the driver barely escaping, according to witnesses and emergency radio dispatches.

Firefighters and tanker trucks from mutual aid stations in Northampton, Bucks and Lehigh counties responded to the three-alarm fire, reported around 1 p.m. SOURCE: The Morning Call

Early reports don’t have any injuries, so that’s a good thing.

You may want to avoid Hellertown today, I mean, more than you’d avoid it on any other day.

Horse Gets Trapped in In-Ground Pool Cover

Pools are awesome, especially if you have your own personal one. Then, you can pee in it whenever you want and no one is going to judge you.

Well, if you have friends over and they are in the pool with you when you pee, they will probably judge you and get pretty mad since now they are swimming in pool water that has pee in it. But, the point, really, is that you can do whatever you want in it.

Run around the pool? Damn straight.

Dive in the shallow section? Go for it.

Beer pong on a beer pong raft IN the pool? Required.

Skip to the front of the diving board line? All yours buddy!

Horseplay? Why, of course!

Police and firefighters this morning freed a horse that had become trapped on the pool cover over an in-ground pool at a Hilltown Township residence (Near Perkasie - ed.), according to police. 

Hilltown Township police responded at 9:22 this morning to a residence on Highpoint Road in the township for a report of a horse that was stuck on a pool cover over an in-ground pool. Officers arrived and determined the horse managed to escape from the barn where it was housed via a door that led to a fenced-in pool area, police said. The horse had apparently gotten caught in the pool cover and was unable to free itself, police said.

The horse began to go into shock because of the cold pool water, according to police.

Police requested assistance from the Hilltown Township, Silverdale Borough and Chalfont fire departments to free the horse. 

Authorities used rigging and plywood to extricate the horse from the pool cover, and set up a fire truck to drain the pool if necessary. 

By 10:16, the horse had been safely removed from the pool and a short time later was able to get up and walk around on its own. SOURCE: The Express-Times

I guess the downside to having your own pool is that it automatically makes your odds of drowning exponentially greater than your neighbor who doesn’t have a pool.

And you’ve always got to worry if you’re kids are going to try and play Aqualad and get stuck in the filter valves. But, I’m sure those risks don’t outweigh the fun of being able to sleep on a raft while you float on cool, clear, crisp water in your backyard.

This reminds me, definitely going to Dorney Park to go on the Lazy River. Best ride there, hands down. 

Deadbeat Dad Tricked Into Returning to Lehigh Valley by Fake Jennifer Aniston Movie Role

There’s something satisfying in tricking someone into justice.

For example, I watched some TV show recently where a police department somewhere sent out fake letters to people who had active warrants telling them that they had won a laptop. The letters said, “Hey, come claim your laptop at this church or something.” And, when the people showed up, BOOM HANDCUFFS!

It’s more fun to play pranks on people who actually REALLY deserved to be pranked, like this doucher.

Although wanted on two deadbeat dad warrants in Lehigh County, Joshua Garlathy hopped on a plane in Hawaii — his safe haven — and headed to Pennsylvania with dreams of appearing on the big screen.

Garlathy, essentially safe in Maui from any effort by local law enforcement to collect nearly $43,000 he owed in support for his daughter, started his trek early this week after being approached about acting in a romantic comedy that could feature Jennifer Aniston.

The out-of-work, aspiring musician would play a guitar-strumming bank robber named Dirty Nick in a movie called “Banished in Brooklyn.” The lure of that, apparently, outweighed any risk of getting picked up on the two warrants — one civil, one criminal.  SOURCE: The Morning Call

When Garlathy got off the plane in Philadelphia, he was promptly arrested.

I think the funniest thing here may have been the choice of the actress for the ruse. I mean, say they picked Angelina Jolie. Don’t you think the guy would have been like, “Waaaaaittt a minute, she’s a super star right now. Something’s fishy here.”

And, sure Jennifer Aniston still has some appeal, even though she comes off as a whiny spinster, but name dropping her probably had him go, “Yeah, with her questionable film roles in recent years, I feel that it’s completely logical that they would want me to be in one of her movies.”

His next film in prison probably won’t be as PG-13 rated as most of her comedies.

One would hope that there was a least a laugh track playing in the background as he was led away to jail.

Be sure to check out our new show, Lehigh Valley with Love Live, because all the cool kids in school are doing it.

Man Deliberately Hits Man On Sidewalk With Car, Passenger Then Shot

Outside of Camden or Detroit, there aren’t many worse places to deliberately run someone over with your car and not expect some sort of retaliation.

“What are they gonna do, throw a rock at my windshield?” the silly layman asks.

No, shoot guns at you.

An Allentown man was shot Wednesday after the driver of a car in which he was riding deliberately struck another man on a city sidewalk, according to police.

The 17-year-old victim, whose name has not been released, was the passenger in a car driven by Javon Raswul, 18, of Allentown, who was driving about 5:20 p.m. in the area of South Delaware and Pittston streets, police said.

Raswul, of the 700 block of South Eighth Street, came across several individuals on the sidewalk and recognized one of them as Jeffrey Fritch, 19, also of Allentown, Assistant Chief Joe Hanna said.

Raswul drove up onto the sidewalk and struck Fritch with his car, Hanna said.

Understatement of the week in 3, 2, 1…

“Apparently, Mr. Raswul and Mr. Fritch know each other and allegedly have issues with one another,”he said.

As Raswul was attempting to drive away, Damian Nunez, an 18-year-old Allentown man who had been with Fritch, pulled a gun and fired a single shot at the car, striking the passenger, Hanna said. SOURCE: The Express-Times

C’mon inner city young people, hug it out! Have a nice latte at the local coffee shop and talk about your differences in an adult manner.

Or, go hang out at the Allentown Hole and marvel at the gears of politics.

Or, check out our new show, Lehigh Valley with Love Live, because all the cool kids in school are doing it.

Lehigh Valley with Love Live! Premiere Episode!

Lehigh Valley with Love Live is live!

We hope you enjoy our first episode enough that you’ll like it and share it on Facebook or Youtube or Twitter or via carrier pigeon or light rail.

The more fan support we receive, the better chance that we can make this into a show I will be able to get Ed Hanna on as a guest.

Thank you to Lehigh Valley Mirror for filming, editing, producing and dealing. This was totally shot in downtown Allentown at Fuse Art Infrastructure!

Thanks to our partners Townsend Insurance Agency, R.M.C. Tech, and Molly’s Irish Grille & Sports Pub!

If the Arena Doesn’t Happen. What Should Go In Its Place? (We have 10 Suggestions)

Unless you’re living under the 8th Street Bridge, and maybe even if you are, you’ve been hearing about the Allentown Arena project and how lawsuits are bringing construction to a halt.

The townships suing don’t want Allentown to use their earned income tax monies and, although Allentown offered them a settlement where they’d recoup their money, it seems to be a bit too little, to late.

No matter your stance on the issue (although I suggest you read this great post about it) you have to admit it’s at least somewhat intriguing.

Which, got me thinking, what the hell would go in that giant hole that’s there if the Arena doesn’t come to fruition?

1. Lake Allentown: Just fill the hole in with some water and, boom, summer fun for everyone. It’d be even better if it was stocked with trout or something, or those koi fish. That would just add a little extra something something.

2. An Ice Rink: This would obviously be the same thing as the lake, but in the winter time! It’d be like Rockefeller Center, just … totally microscopically as classy and iconic.

3. A campground: Hey, let’s admit it, camping is tough. You have to lug your gear to some campground and, ugh, it’s just a ton of hassle. So, just let families camp out in the Allentown Hole! You don’t even have to do anything. Just leave it as is!

4. Artsquest SteelStacks II: Hey, Artsquest seems to finally be turning the corner when it comes to attendance and they even picked up Patton Oswalt for an upcoming show. They’ve already taken over Bethlehem, why not Allentown.

5. An Interactive Journey to the Center of the Earth Exhibit: If we can’t use this space for a sports team, we should think of the children. It’d be great for field trips and, since the hole is.. well.. a hole, you can just plop students in there and the teachers can watch from the safety of the broken sidewalks.

6. No Rent Housing: The economy is tough. I think it’s time we think about our citizens. Much like the land grabs in during the “Manifest Destiny” portion of American History, we should allow anyone who wants to grab a piece of land to go ahead. It’d be a sweet shanty town. 

7. A Hess’s Department Store: Dance with who brung ya!

8. Allentown Brew Works on the Hole: Brew Works seems to have no trouble branching out to new places. Why not open up a new Brew Works, but on the rocks? It’ll be a great drinking experience.

9. Crocodile Rock Cafe: Just … just throw Crock Rock in there and watch it burn.

10. A real life interpretation of the great vintage arcade game Ironman Ivan Stewart’s Super Off Road! Man that game was great! I always loved when I was able to get my nitros and blast past that pesky red pickup. I wonder what “Ironman” is doing now…

Bonus: A Casino… because… why the hell not?

Hopefully, none of these things has to happen. Bottom line, everyone seemed to drop the ball a little bit on this one. Here’s hoping to everything getting sorted out and downtown Allentown getting a chance to revitalize itself.

Easton Plans to Go Both Ways with Centre Square Traffic Circle

I’m no civil engineer, but traffic circles are the worst thing you can encounter, design wise, on a street.

I take that back, New Jersey jug handles are the ABSOLUTE worst, but traffic circles are a close second.

And, it’s not because their design isn’t good. It’s because people get to a traffic circle and go, “HOLY CRAP A TRAFFIC CIRCLE WTF DO I DO?”

It’s like you’re driving down the road and then all of a sudden you’re in Eastern Europe.

No matter how good the signs are, and how well marked, NO ONE seems to know what the hell they are doing once they get in a traffic circle.

It may as well be Thunderdome.

So, I’ll give Easton SOME credit that they are addressing the fact that their Easton Square traffic circle is a complete automotive nightmare.

Easton planners propose converting the web of one-way streets surrounding Centre Square into two-way streets in part to help the growing number of visitors to downtown attractions get around more easily.

The plan envisioned by the city administration also would help motorists in the Centre Square traffic circle, and improve both the pace and safety of pedestrians and bicyclists, officials told regional transportation planners Monday.

The city proposes “a complete rethinking of traffic flow downtown,” Public Works Director Dave Hopkins told members of the Lehigh Valley Transportation Study, a group that helps prioritize regional transportation-improvement spending. Hopkins referred to traffic-flow problems around Centre Square as “a decades-old issue” the city hopes to address.

The Centre Square Circle itself would remain one-way counterclockwise under the proposal, but the one-way streets surrounding it — Second, Ferry, Fourth and Spring Garden streets — would become two-way roads. SOURCE: The Morning Call

The plan seems like it could help out, but, still, it’s a traffic circle. People are still going to get down there and go, “So, should I merge? Wait, can I turn right on red? So, does that dude have the right of way? Do crosswalks count in a traffic circle? What the f*#k is that guy doing on the inside lane? Is he turning, WTF?”

And, again, whoever thought jug handles were a good idea should be forced to drive them all day every day forever. I just wanna turn left. I don’t wanna turn right to turn left. And then, after I see that road sign that I want to get on, I have to think, “Crap, do I turn right now in order to go to that road that’s on the left?”

Sure, sure, you say, jug handles are safer because you don’t cross against traffic.

Whatever, I say, I don’t care if your logic is sound. They are stupid and they remind me of New Jersey, so that makes me think they smell, too.

LVwithLOVE Live Premieres Tomorrow!

Lehigh Valley with Love Live is a new five minute webisode produced by Lehigh Valley Mirror and premiering tomorrow!

What is it? Well, we are taking the best three news stories of the previous week and talking about them as usual, but, on camera.

So, it’s all the stuff that you’re used to, except this time you don’t have to read!

We’re really excited and want to thank LVMirror for this opportunity! LVMirror, as you should know, is responsible for the new Lehigh Valley Mirror show on RCN as well as the new 30 minute Save the Kales show.

So, stay tuned!