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Robber Denied, Tries to Fight with Knife, Broom, and Brick

What do you do when you want something from someone, but you find out they have no money or goods?

Attack them for no good reason. 

The way the Internet has been working in the last week, people will probably end up rioting in your honor.

Shawn Williams, 18, of the 300 block of East Broad Street, asked Jomar Ramos for a smoke and some money about 11:50 a.m., court papers say. Ramos told police he explained to the teen that he had neither, according to court records, and Williams then went inside his East Broad Street apartment. 

When Williams returned, the teen was wielding a kitchen knife, authorities say, and tried to stab Ramos in the upper body. Ramos said he fended off the attack and Williams went back inside, returning with a broom handle, court records say.

Williams assaulted the victim with the handle, striking him in the face, according to police. After Ramos fell to the floor, Williams lobbed a brick at him and hit him in the back, court papers say. SOURCE: The Express-Times

What else do you have in that crack den you can toss at people on the street?

Please say “used needles” so we can complete this entire thing properly.

Also, if you want to know the answer to the question, “What is going on in this country?” the answer is people doing this type of stuff and not taking responsibility for their actions.

Actually, in fact, most things can be blamed on people just not taking responsibility for their actions.

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Deer ‘Punches’ Driver in Face After Jumping Into Car

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You don’t ever really hear too many animal rights people complaining about hunters killing deer in Pennsylvania because there are a ton of deer and hunters are the only thing that kill them. 

Well, hunters and themselves. Because deer are stupid.

A Poconos woman was injured Monday afternoon when a deer ran into her car and punched its head into her face as she drove with her side window down, police said.

Nicole Zafropoulos, 38, of Gilbert was northbound on Greenview Drive in Hamilton Township at 12:50 p.m. when the deer leaped left to right into her driver’s door, state police at Swiftwater said.

Zafropolous “sustained minor injuries as a result of the crash due to the driver side window being rolled down at the time of the crash and the head of the deer making contact with the left side of the driver’s head and face,” Trooper Mark Puopolo reported. SOURCE: Morning Call

Woah. I totally just had the best idea for a new horror movie. I mean, it’s kinda been done before. But, what if, all of a sudden, all the wildlife around us began to revolt?

Like, all the squirrels and birds and raccoons, instead of just being kind of annoying, started to actually TARGET us every time we went outside.

Then, finally, deer and bears would hang outside our office buildings waiting for us to go to lunch so they could eat us!

I’ll call it, “Wild Animals.” No, no, how about… “Undomesticated”?

Totally starting on a screen play right now that I’ll never finish.

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Parents Don’t Make Girl Brush Her Teeth, Get Arrested

Every kid should learn three things before they grow into adults: 1. How to swim 2. How to jump into a pool without holding their nose like a wussy and 3. How to brush their teeth.

These are all very important skills that translate into a successful adulthood.

A dentist, testifying this morning during a preliminary hearing in Lehigh Township for parents charged with not providing proper dental care for their 6-year-old daughter, called the level of disease “frightening.”

Dr. Gene McGuire, who reported Jessica Hoffman, 31, and Kenneth Wanamaker Jr., 36, both of the 1000 block of Riverview Drive in the township, to Northampton County authorities, said 16 teeth needed work and seven were extracted.

Three of those teeth were abscessed, he testified in District Judge Robert Hawke’s court. Eight teeth required the nerve being removed because they could have become abscessed, he said. SOURCE: The Express-Times

Officials said the teeth were so bad the child was in danger of actual death, which….is….. RIDICULOUS.

What blows my mind is that these are the types of people having the most amount of kids. They can’t even take a break from hitting the meth pipe thingy to buy their kid a Spider-Man toothbrush.

Grow up, dickbags. 

Oh and #ThanksMusikfest.

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2014 Musikfest Photo Scavenger Hunt Results

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Thank you to the 27 teams who participated in this year’s Musikfest Photo Scavenger Hunt Challenge.

We had more than 650 photos submitted. You can check them all out here

In all, 22 teams will be receiving prizes!

We are currently contacting all winners in succession via email.

Final results are as follows.

1. Ashley and Ali (Three time Champions. Won by tie-breaker.)

2. Amy P

3. Catherine L.

4. Jessica L.

5. Erin G.

6. Jenna D.

7. Kaitie B. & Co.

8. Sara G. S. 

9. Linz

10. Teri R.

11. Missy 

12. Lindsey C. & Chris R.

13. Laura M. and Kristen D.

14, Dawne S.

15. Jesus Jones

16. Wendy

17. Tim D.

18. Natalie T.

19. Blaise

20. Christina T.

21. Gentry R.

22. Yatsko Sistahs

23. Cindy A.

24. Joshua 

25. Amanda C.

26. Keith H.

27. Jessica L.

There you have it!

Be sure to come catch us at Oktoberfest in … October.

Thank you to all of our sponsors for their awesome prizes!

PRIZES

 FitBit courtesy of Coordinated Health

♥ Two Sands Bethlehem $50 Gift Cards

♥ Three Carnegie Deli at Sands Bethlehem $50 Gift Cards

♥ Two St. James Gate Irish Pub and Carvery at Sands Bethlehem $50 Gift Cards

♥ An Emeril’s Chop House at Sands Bethlehem $100 Gift Card

♥ An Emeril’s Italian Table at Sands Bethlehem $75 Gift Card

♥ Case of Shock Top Pumpkin courtesy of LVwithLOVE

♥ Case of Bud Light courtesy of LVwithLOVE

♥  Fegley’s Brew Works $50 Gift Card

♥ Necklace from Underwired Vintage Boutique

♥ Signature Strawberry Cheesecake courtesy of Cheesecakes by Chester

♥ Molly’s Irish Grille & Sports Pub $50 Gift Card

♥ Two Joe’s Tavern $25 Gift Cards

♥ Clementine Salon $55 Gift Card 

♥ One $50 Wawa Gift Card courtesy of Townsend Insurance

♥ Four $10 Wawa GCs courtesy of Townsend Insurance

♥ Month of Lessons ($130 value) at The Lesson Center

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ATV Ruins 30 Christmas Trees (FIND THIS GRINCH)

While we probably only think about Christmas Trees around Christmas time because, well, Christmas.

But, they have to grow not around Christmas time to be ready for you to chop down and kill and drag into your house and put gifts under.

Poor Christmas trees.

An all-terrain vehicle tore through a Poconos Christmas tree farm, damaging dozens of trees, police said.

It happened around 4 p.m. Saturday at Howard’s Christmas Tree Farm on Polk Valley Road in Hamilton Township.

Police said the ATV damaged about 30 trees, causing an estimated $900 in damage.

Anyone with information is asked to call State Police in Swiftwater at 570-839-7701. SOURCE: WFMZ.com

Did you know that Easton was the first place American’s ever trimmed a Christmas Tree?

Well, maybe not, but, still, maybe it was!

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Boys Can’t Play Field Hockey at Quakertown

Equal rights are kind of funny because they assume everyone is equal in ability.

If a girl wants to play on the football team, the community will rally behind her and anyone saying she shouldn’t play because she’s a girl will be vilified.

"You can’t keep someone from their dream just because of their sex," they would yell.

Look at Mo’ne Davis at the Little League World Series right now. She’s tearing it up.

But, if it were a boy playing on a softball team, no one would have it.

Why? Well, because as much as we want to say how both sexes are equal, they aren’t equal because they are different. I mean, they are equal in respectability and equal in value, but not when it comes to physicality.

Boys are generally stronger and faster and the only one we have to blame for that is Mr. Genetics. Not EVERY boy is stronger and faster than EVERY girl, but, in the grand scheme of things, it averages out that way. 

Mo’ne Davis is an exception, however, because she’s just awesome.

Effective immediately, Quakertown Community High School boys will no longer be permitted to play on the high school varsity girls’ field hockey team.

At Thursday evening’s meeting, the Quakertown Community School District School Board unanimously voted to follow a recently passed Pennsylvania Interscholastic Athletic Association, Inc. rule setting guidelines and limitations on cross gender team play.

Steffany Schwarz of Quakertown, whose son Josh has played on the girls’ field hockey team, asked the board to allow the boys to continue to play on the team. To date, three boys are members of the team.

"If they aren’t allowed to play, you are taking away my son’s senior year," she said. "He wants to play field hockey." SOURCE: WFMZ.com

So, what’s the big deal? Well, because they are boys they are inherently stronger, which means any team with a boy (for the most part) would be at an advantage over a team without a boy (presumably.)

The PIAA knows this, so while it may be more keen to allow a girl to play on a boys’ football team because it wouldn’t give that team any sort of perceived advantage, putting boys on a girls’ team would.

I don’t know why any guy would want to play field hockey anyway. Have you seen those girls? They are evil out there. That is a no joke sport and you can only use one side of the stick because the other side of the stick is all rounded. What’s up with that?

Guys are still allowed to be on the cheerleading squad, right? Because, um, if you’re already committed to playing field hockey and you can’t, why not go out for the cheerleading squad? You still get to play with girls… 

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Lehigh Valley Missed Connections of the Week (AN NSA RELATIONSHIP?)

Your Missed Connections of the Week brought to you by Townsend InsuranceMolly’s Irish Grille & Sports PubiMobile Rescue, and Diamond Toyota.

(We totally basically walked into Bethlehem Councilman Bryan Callahan doing the ice bucket challenge in the middle of Main Street last night.)

It’s a short and sweet Missed Connections this week for a variety of reasons, most of them being the fact that we have to count the more than 600 photos that were submitted for the Musikfest Photo Scavenger Hunt.

See?

Rt309 Coopersburg green Honda civic - m4w (Coopersberg)

We were driving next to each other up 309 and I couldn’t keep my eyes off you and I know you could feel it. You were busy texting and driving the whole time. Lol at one point I caught you at the red light singing to your straw thinking it was a microphone. Lmao. Let me buy you drinks!! What was I driving?

How did both of these people not cause a horrendous car wreck?

Local Bass Player - w4m

You:
Ringo, bassist for the best local band
Me:
Just another fan.

We spoke at the benefit at Riverside for the vets this Summer, and haven’t stopped thinking about you. I thought we had a connection, but couldn’t be sure. I didn’t see a ring, so if you are available, get back to me and let me know what very distinctive shirt I was wearing and why you were wearing what you had on.
I hope someone gets this to you.

And they say bass players get no love. I mean, it IS the easiest part of the band, but, that doesn’t mean bass players aren’t people, too.

Trying to find you - m4m (allentown pa)

We hooked up twice. Once at a house you were selling, 
Another time in your car.

Isn’t that why people go into real estate? So they can bone in other peoples’ houses whenever they want?

popeyes - m4w (atown)

To the lady at Popeyes that droped her shirt (Micky Mouse) on the way to the bus stop, I really thought u were HOT and I would like to get with u sometime, HMU. PS. tell me what I was wearing and I will respond with What u were wearing.

She was wearing a Micky (sic) Mouse shirt, dummy. Well, until she dropped it and you picked it up and probably gave it to her in the most awkward fashion possible.

Main Street hellertown gave you a cigarette - m4w - 30 (Hellertown )

I was walking home from Exxon and you where walking the other direction. You crossed the street to ask for a cigarette. I would like too meet up with you an hang out your beautiful. Would you want a NSA relationship? For just fun maybe? May something thing that will be serious.

Who would want a NSA relationship? That seems pretty invasive. Who wants a chick that’s going to be checking your stuff all the time?

Ok, go enjoy your weekend.<

Read Previous Lehigh Valley Missed Connections.

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Baby Goats Stolen from Farmers Market!

I never understood stealing a pet.

Every time you look at that pet you’re going to remember how you stole it from some other family. You’re going to look into stolen Fido’s eyes and wonder if he is thinking about his true family.

Is he really wagging his tail at you or is he just going through the motions?

Does he really like cuddling with you or is he suffering from Stockholm Syndrome?

A search is underway for the person or people who stole several farm animals from the Leesport Farmers Market in Berks County.

The theft happened sometime between late Wednesday night and early Thursday morning, according to Daniel “Woody” Weist, the owner/manager of the market in Ontelaunee Township.

Someone used a bolt cutter to get inside the barn and take four baby goats, four pigs, which weigh approximately 600 pounds each, and a 100-pound sheep, Weist said.SOURCE: WFMZ.com

Is the thief making some sort of black market petting zoo?

The Black Market Petting Zoo?

That actually sounds kind of … awesome.

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Teen Doesn’t Get Invited to Eat Cheesesteaks, Beats Friend’s Face In

William Joseph Hitchcock-Sahr Jr.

So, no one likes to be excluded. It’s just human nature.

You may not even want to go to a certain party and would actually decline the invite, but, if you’re not invited, you might get a little offended.

Hopefully, you’ll just move on and engage in your favorite hobby, like whittling or pickling beets, for example.

Don’t do this.

Police say William Joseph Hitchcock-Sahr Jr., 18, of the first block of Kiernan Avenue, called Brandon Ridgick on Monday and found out Ridgick and two others were hanging out in the 100 block of Northampton Street eating cheesesteaks. 

Hitchcock-Sahr showed up and started arguing because he wasn’t invited and Ridgick hadn’t bought him a sandwich, according to court documents.

Hitchock-Sahr dragged Ridgick down a flight of stairs and broke multiple facial bones by kicking him in the face, authorities say. Hellertown police say Ridgick’s face was “deformed” and bloodied from the assault. SOURCE: The Express-Times

I’ll tell you what, if I was running the advertising campaign for this cheesesteak place, I’d start putting up some new billboards.

"Cheesesteaks so good you’ll beat your friend to a bloody pulp to eat one!"

"Friends make sure they invite friends to eat our cheesteaks!"

"Holy crap, make sure you invite this guy to eat with you!"

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Stinky Smell in Phillipsburg Handled by Thankless Man

You have to admire the people who work the jobs that you don’t want to work. They make our lives seem civilized and probably never get a “thank you.”

The problem with these jobs is you never think about them until something goes awry.

Like this…

Sludge maintenance at the Phillipsburg area’s waste-water treatment plant is to blame for the foul smell wafting through town in the past couple weeks, officials said.

Mayor Harry Wyant Jr. said he’s been getting calls from residents who caught a whiff, and he experienced the problem up close when he drove by the plant late on Aug. 3.

The town’s sewer operator, Dan Baransky, assured him Aug. 5 that should be the last of the issue, Wyant said. But the problem persisted around the plant along South Main Street at the Lopatcong Creek and Delaware River confluence. 

Baransky said he does preventative maintenance on two 250,000-gallon aerobic digester tanks every two years. He took one of the tanks out of service to clean it and repair some diffusers, he said. The diffusers blow air into the tank to mix the sludge left from treated wastewater, he said. When he turned on the diffusers to bring the tank back into use, it started to stink, he said. SOURCE: The Express-Times

And I get frustrated if one of my keys sticks.

This guy had to go through troubleshooting what was making the town smell like a porta potty and probably did it with nothing more than a, “Hey, it’s what you gotta do.”

Thank you, Dan Baranskys of the world, for keeping things working on track.

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It’s August, Time for the Annual Saucon Valley School District Teacher Strike

I don’t want to get into the teacher underpaid/overpaid conversation because it’s about as productive as arguing about politics and religion.

Some people believe teachers are way too underpaid, some people think they are paid just right, and some people want them to have more than their usual three months off and diamond Rolexes to boot.

Either way, something is wrong when every summer ends like this.

Saucon Valley teachers are again weighing a strike as the start of the new school year rapidly approaches.

A negotiation session this afternoon failed to produce a contract deal to end the impasse.

Saucon Valley teachers plan to attend Tuesday night’s school board meeting to ask the entire board to vote on their contract proposal and settle the dispute, said Andrew Muir, the attorney hired to represent teachers in negotiations. The school board meets at 7 p.m. in the high school audion.

"If the board votes no, it is more likely than not, the teachers will have to seriously consider approving a strike notice," Muir stated in an email. 

Teachers last went on strike in 2008 and 2009. SOURCE: The Express-Times

But, I thought all teachers would do it for free because they loved teaching so much?

For a profession that gets so much sympathy, they seem to be able to strike more regularly and effectively than any other profession that I know of.

Could it be because they know that they can squeeze more money out of the district and they know that they can strike, so they are going to do that because it would result in them making more money?

Or they are grossly underpaid?

The average teacher salary there is $61,814. How can they scrape by?

Whatever your position on it, and feel free to go nuts rationalizing either end, the kids are the ones who lose at the end of the day.

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Awful People Ask For Free House in East Penn Publication

This was taken by a friend this weekend in the East Penn Valley Merchandiser.

It’s nice to know that you can still try and prey on old people by guilting them with religion.

Call em up if you feel like offering a house, or, you know, just screwing with them. 

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Train Cars Derail Near MUSIKFEST!!!!! (IT WAS SO CLOSE TO MUSIKFEST!)

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Photo courtesy Express-Times

Just in time for the final weekend of MUSIKFEST, some train cars derailed NEAR THE FESTIVAL.

These trains cars jumped off the tracks a pretty far way away from MUSIKFEST, but, since the festival is going on right now, we have to somehow tie in the trains derailing with the fact that it’s going on.

So, yeah, while these two things are not related there are some train cars off the tracks in the same city that also has MUSIKFEST in it!

Several train cars jumped the tracks this afternoon in Bethlehem just west of the Minsi Trail Bridge. 

The Bethlehem Fire Department responded to the derailment and the train cars appeared to be empty, emergency dispatches say.

Two nearly sideways cars stretched onto Sands Casino Resort Bethlehem property and casino security responded. A tanker car in front of those two and a box car behind were slightly off the tracks toward the Lehigh River and appeared to have hit an adjacent train. SOURCE: The Express-Times

In other news, Obama has said that he has approved some missile strikes in Iraq. Is it a coincidence that this is happening the same week as MUSIKFEST?

I think not.

Remember that Ebola patient who was transferred to the United States? Well, ever since MUSIKFEST started, we haven’t heard anything about him or her.

WELL, WELL, WELL.

I remember the old days when Musikfest was about music and not weapons of mass destruction. I’m just going to sit in my house all weekend and be a grumpy mcgrumperson.

OR…

Here’s a tip for the final weekend of the festival, well, two. 

First, go down and enjoy yourself. If you’re doing what you should be doing (and not hanging out at seedy bars at 3 in the morning) then you’ll be fine.

Secondly, you can still play the Musikfest Scavenger Hunt! Even if you only play one day for an hour or two, you’ll probably win some prizes.

See you at the fest!

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Lehigh Valley Missed Connections of the Week (FINAL MUSIKFEST WEEKEND)

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Your Missed Connections of the Week brought to you by Townsend InsuranceMolly’s Irish Grille & Sports PubiMobile Rescue, and Diamond Toyota.

Musikfest moves into it’s final weekend, but that only means you still have time to play the 2014 Musikfest Photo Scavenger Hunt Challenge!

Click here to download the Photo Scavenger Hunt PDF to take with you or view on your phone!

Hopefully, there will be some good missed connections from Musikfest. The final weekend really seems to bring out all the summer in everyone. 

I mean, all you have left is The Great Allentown Fair… ;)

Dorney Park at the Snoopey Bounce house 8/4 - w4m

Had a nice conversation while our kids played in the bounce house. Wondering if you’d like to chat again sometime? I was the tattooed girl in the black outfit. I’ll respond if a pic is sent so I’m sure it’s you;)

It’s Snoopy! For the love of god, can we please at least spell the important things in life correctly? 

This is important. Take the time to think, “Hmm, am I spelling Snoopy or Charlie Brown correctly?” This is a big deal.

Valley Forge Dude! - m4m (Allentown)

I was the delivery guy who brought something to your house. Your dog is so cool, and you are so smoking hot!! You asked me to step inside and I put the item I delivered on the table. I’m married too, but would love to get alone with you and get you off. Very discrete. Please reply to this ad and it will stay between you and I. If it’s you, I can send you pics to prove it’s me.

My mailman has been switching the mail between me and my neighbors for awhile now. He must not find me that attractive.

beautiful woman with son at menchies - m4w - 32 (ceder crest blvd)

I saw you getting yogurt with your son I think he was he looked like you,he had cute blonde curly hair. You had your hair up in a ponytail you have blonde hair, you look like an amazing woman that needs a real good man in your life you look like you deserve the world please respond with the car you got in. I would love to know you.

Yeah you need a REAL good man in your life. I mean, that’s what every woman needs to be complete, right? 

I’m sure telling her how much she needs you will make her just melt to the floor.

BBW on the 220 Lanta bus In easton - m4w - 29 (Easton/Bethlehem)

You got on the bus with your son that’s why I didn’t talk to you, didn’t want to hit on you infront of your little man. 

You: Tall, thick bbw, white light blue looking eyes, glasses, reddish/brownish hair. Wearing jeans and a Black shirt. Tell me what was on the shirt and I’ll know you’re reading this. I saw you and it was like you popped out my dreams. I am hoping this gets to you some how. You got off at the circle in Easton where Crayola is.

At least he spelled “popped” correctly. 

And, good for her. BBW girls can still rock the missed connections.

And now, for your reading pleasure, your disgusting missed connection of the week. I have edited it so that it is SFW.

grandpop on 14th st near LA Fitness - m4m - 27 (whitehall)

I’m looking for the 60-something who lives on or near 14th street in whitehall, near LA fitness. We have some unfinished business. You s*#$@* me off on the floor but promised to eat my &@^ later. I had to go as gf was calling on my cell.

You’re not really 52, are you? :) Our little secret. i didn’t mind your age. you #&@* good.

And those, folks, are the people who live in your community. I’m not saying that they are wrong in any fashion, but they are definitely interesting.

See you at Musikfest!

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